A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:for the past few weeks i have been heart broken because i was dumped by a man who has decided to go back to the woman he got pregnant because he says it is the right thing to do because he wants his child to grow up with a mom and dad and not that he doesnt love me at all. Everyone seems to be applauding him and not looking at the other side where i am hurt as hell with everyone telling me to accept the situation.Why is noone having sympathy for me? Anyway i am leaving ton coz i cant stand to see them together and i called him so i can see him and say goodbye. Is this a good idea or am i just setting myself out for more hurt? i cant let go of him and still want him coz we had a perfect relationship. What do i do for quicker healing? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Hey there,
I would strongly suggest that he demand a paternaty test be done. If he acts like a father, and it turns out it is not his later, becuase he acted without asking, he might STILL be financially liable even if it is not his kid.
Also, is it that he did not use protection, or was it that she is trying to trap him (maybe using a discarded condon to impregnat herself)...this could factor in to his decision.
Good Luck.
-Frank B Kermit
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthamks so much guys for all the advice you give. it helps alot because i am a very confused young lady right now failing to rebuild her life.
as for the question that Frank B Kermit asked me whether she was pregnant before or after we started going out, aparently they slept together before we started going out and a month later she found out she was pregnant and at that time we had started our relationship already and were happy. so there is where everything went wrong.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (26 June 2007):
Do you live in such a small town that you can not help but see them on a regular basis? Is running from town a tactic you used in the past, and if so, did it work out for you?
If it is a very small town, then moving in order for you to move on with your life might be a good idea. It will mean starting over though, and making new friends, but it could also mean finding love with someone new too.
If you must see him, see him to get closure...say goodbye with him present to the life you had built up in your head with him. That is what I did with my ex-fiance. Seek closure, and the healing will follow.
As for why people are not thinking of you...once a pregnancy and kid come into the picture, the well fare of the child is the priority. I have to agree. It sucks that you were hurt in this, but his kid needs him more than you do...you can always find a new partner...his kid only has that one father.
I have to ask...did you start dating him before or after he got her pregnant? Is everyone sure it is his kid? Are they willing to do a paternaty test? If he really wanted to be with you, he would at least make sure that the kid is actually his.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (26 June 2007):
Dear Leaving Town; How far can you run and when you do stop. He'll still be there within in your mind. Seeing them together in the flesh or in your mind is Same,O, Same,O. Those Everyone's are right,and sure it hurts. But try to keep that love you feel for him in your heart. And some day someone else will need to receive that love you have taught each other. And you will then be able to give that love to another love in your life.
A Big Hug from the Philippines, And my heart go's out to you. Don't run, Please. The world is't just their oyster, it also belongs to you.
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (26 June 2007):
 I've been there lovely, but you can't keep running away from it. I know it's hard but I don't think leaving town is the best thing for you.
I WOULD say however, maybe you should go on a holiday? get your mind back into gear, discover yourself again and realise that this guy wasn't worth it.
You're worth more than that, and I PROMISE you, you will find someone who will not hurt you like that and will do anything for you.Not all guys are like that although it probably seems that way now. It took me several relationships but I think I've found someone who'll treat me right and you can do the same. It will take time, I'm not denying that but look at yourself in the mirror and say " I'm worth so much more than that"
He wasn't the one. The one will be the person who'll never make you cry but is worth all your tears.
Look after yourself, take a break, have some fun and then come back and be ready to face the world. Be strong and show them that you can live without him - after all, that will annoy him!
xxxx
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