A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm so fed upI'm just always the girl in-between, I met boy and we start dating and it always ends with them texting me sorry ur an awsome girl but I'm getting with someone. This have happened to me for a year now and can't remember how many to times, but everytime I'm cutting me up more and more, most night I sit here thinking what have I done wrong this time, I hate it, please help and suggest anything for me to stop feeling like this as iv tryed to change the way I act but does work.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2012): OP two reasons for this.
One; you're getting with guys only just out of relationships, on the rebound or who are actually interested in someone else from the outset.
Two; it's a "nice" way of telling you that we don't want to be with you without telling you we're not interested and hurting your feelings. I've used that line many times, not nice but I wouldn't use it anymore.
You most likely haven't done anything wrong OP, most of the times things like this are due to circumstance and disinterest. Just make sure you don't get with rebound guys, if you find out a guy has recently got out of a relationship, walk away. If you find out he has a crush on someone else, walk away. Other than that just treat it as a guy who's not interested, I mean not being interested is not a big deal, we can't like everyone and we can't be liked by everyone and you'd be surprized by the amount of people that will date others they're not really interested in.
One final point and this is the probably the most important, you may be getting sexual far too early. Believe it or not OP, a girl who is easy is one of the biggest reasons we don't see her as relationship material. Sure relationships like that can form, but most guys I know would rather a girl who makes them earn sex than one who gives it to any guy she's with.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (21 March 2012):
Hi there. What kind of relationships were they, with these guys?
Did they take you to nice places and spend money on you?
Or, once you had your initial first date, did it then become that they called you then came over and it was just sex, and they went home soon after?
Which is of course commonly known as FWB. Friends with benefits.
If it wasn't an FWB, well then perhaps you might have lost yourself in the relationship and put their needs before your own.
What I mean by this, is if you were always available to them, almost like you were waiting anxiously by the phone for them to call you, which they would be able to see through.
Like being seen as needy and desperate.
It's possible, especially when you really like the guy a lot.
And if that was the case, maybe in future, make sure you still see your own friends and that you do have an independent life of your own, with your own interests.
Don't give up your old life for a boy. That's one of the biggest mistakes a girl can ever make, believe me.
You DO need to keep your own independence.
This is really important, so that you are not dependent upon a guy to make you happy.
We are each responsible for our own happiness. Only WE can make ourselves happy - no-one else can do that.
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A
male
reader, Uncle PJ  +, writes (21 March 2012):
 What you need to know first and most importantly of all is that you have done nothing wrong. You seem like a lovely girl and that must be how these other guys see it. Unfortunately, these other guys are taking advantage of your niceness until something else comes along.
I can understand how bad this must make you feel but these guys are clearly missing out and aren't worth you anyway. You need to become a little more cautious when it comes to wanting to be with someone. Try to find out if they really want a relationship with you and then hopefully you can avoid falling into the same horrible trap and then actually find a guy who deserves your fantastic personality and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I hope this helps, keep your head held high and you will find that special guy I promise.
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