A
male
age
41-50,
*pear
writes:I find myself in the friendzone with a chick that i've fallen 4.i've known her 4 eight years and have told her that i would want 2 be more then just a friend 2 her.but my advances have been met with confrontation and tears.according 2 her she is not attracted 2 to me yet there are the the nights out the sleeping in the same bed the hours long massages the hanging on me and the great times we have together .a week ago we had a major blow-out about me wanting 2 b with her at the time she was sleeping over at my place we got drunk and thats when we got into it she wanted 2 invite a guy friend over to a party and i said no.needless to say things escalated and she ended up leaving the next morning,god i had to almost beg to just get her to speak to me again.thing is im not gonna stop wanting her but i cant be her friend either how messed up would that be .can this situation be remedied or is it a dead loss.we still hang out while she awaits her knight in shining armour.it appears though that i'm not him .can this change?
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male
reader, Spear +, writes (9 January 2010):
Spear is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your candid responses i suppose ultimately your answers only serves to confirm what my initial take on the entire situation was.but i suppose when your caught -up in a case of unrequited love at times hope springs eternal for the infatuated party .i will definitely heed your advise.thank you!
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (9 January 2010):
 Dear sir, I am sure that during some stage of our lives, we have all been in your shoes. But the way I see it, if I were to tell a woman I want her as more than a friend, and she is so upset at the thought that she sheds tears, I would back right off.
She doesn't want to have sex with you. Don't try to force something, or push her to try to change her mind. She will end up hating you.
Have the good grace to accept defeat, and either be her friend, or don't. I'm sure she loves you, but it's clear she doesn't think of you in a sexual way.
Seek a lover elsewhere.
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