A
female
age
41-50,
*ornshellz
writes:Hi, I'm not sure if im being reasonable or selfishHere my husband is an alcoholic and our marriage is on the rocks, He has managed to drink less than before but alcohol is still an issue that will tear us apart. Every time he has one drink its followed by more that week. Vodka always and it makes him mean and intolorable. We know our love doesnt stand a chance against his alcohol abuse. He's quit for up to 6 weeks before but now he is using my smoking ciggarettes as leverage. Is it fair for him to say he wont stop drinking unless I quit smoking? should i have to quit smoking so he will stop using the substance that has caused so many problems for us.
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female
reader, tornshellz +, writes (10 January 2010):
tornshellz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for taking the time to reply. i would like u to know that i do not smoke in our home or around him. he smokes on occasion and i had quit for 3 years before he and i got together. it was acctually he who influenced me to smoke again. i would give up smoking for him if it truly bothered him, but quiting smoking as leverage againgst an alcoholics abuse just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (9 January 2010):
 Well, second hand smoke kills, so he has a point.
If you want him to stop drinking because it hurts you, then why is it okay for you to give him cancer (and everyone else who breathes in your smoke?)
This seems to be a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 January 2010):
You shouldn't, but it would do your health good too.
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A
female
reader, punky 88 +, writes (9 January 2010):
i think this is wrong , i ahve ben in a similar situation my slef 1 can would lead up to 6 cans a night that would put a strain on usm where as me on the other hand would smoke up to 5 a day that was all i had, and it was an ultimatum but smoking doesnt make u abusive unlike alcohol and alcohol puts more strain on people, but then sometimes if u love some1 you will give up to help them. you have to be sure that there being fair to.
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