A
female
age
30-35,
*nlyofyou1039
writes:I'm 16 and I've been in love with this teacher for 2 years now. At first it was obsession. I know so much about him because he's my cousin's best friend. So its like he's a part of the family. Always at family parties and stuff. But anyway it really developed into something real. I know its not a crush anymore. Not at all. I truly and deeply love him. We've only talked like 2 times. It wasn't even a conversation. He knows I exist and knows I like him. He always says hi to me when i see him and seems quite sweet. I went to high school (he teaches in middle school) and I only get to see him like 3 times a year. But my feelings for him are still so strong. Does this mean obsession is there still if I love him and I don't even see him? Or does this mean I really do love him because I don't even see him anymore..? And should I tell him how I feel next time I see him? Has anyone felt like this? Or will these feelings eventually go away?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xLovex  +, writes (23 August 2008):
This is worth a read : http://www.dearcupid.org/question/love-your-teacher.html
hope it helps xxxx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008): My advice would be different if he was YOUR teacher.
But as he isn't then the situation is different.
At 25 it wouldn't be unusual for him to find you sexually attractive, nor would it be that bad if he dated you.
What you need to consider are the lawful consequences. I don't know what the age of consent is around your parts. But if you are under it then any sexual contact, willing or not, is considered rape as you are not lawfully able to enter into such a partnership until a certain age.
I'm am more liberal on these things because the age of consent in my part of the world is 16. And it has been for as long as I can remember. And the fact that I have known some very mature and extremely smart 16 year olds who have the knowledge and relationship ability of a 30 year old.
I have also met very immature and insecure ones.
My point is that you should tell him how you feel, but only to gauge his reaction. To see if he likes you back.
If he does... you can date but not do anything sexual until you are of age.
If he doesn't... well, at least you can work on getting over your feelings then.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Onlyofyou1039 +, writes (21 August 2008):
Onlyofyou1039 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice guys. I've decided not to say anything to him. At least not now anyway. And btw: he's 25 and I'm 16.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): If you really love him wait until you are out of high school to tell him. Right now it's a no win situation. Approaching him now could scare him off and it would be awkward to see him at family functions. If it does not scare him off it could ruin his life and yours. Be smart for both of you. Part of high school is learning what type of characteristics people have that are important to you. Don't miss out on the social aspects of high school, for how you now feel about this man. You may find after high school your feelings will change. Not many people end up with there first love. Love comes with heartache. Yes the feeling will go away. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): In my opinion, you're too young to know what true romantic love is. Hopefully, you've got a long, happy life ahead of you. A relationship like the one you are considering is a big deal, so think about it carefully and only share your thoughts with mature, intelligent, kind people whom you trust completely. Remember, you could unintentionally hurt this teacher, because society could misjudge the situation and blame him for taking advantage of an innocent minor. My advice: Love him like a father or a brother or a mentor, but from a distance, or just try to forget him. Whatever you do, don't get overly excited, and think carefully about every word you say to him or anyone else on this subject.
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A
female
reader, bluntasaspoon +, writes (20 August 2008):
 hey hun i wouldnt tell him how u feel coz it may get him into trouble as u are still in school. but as for the feeling thing i think that u may have a really really big crush on him. try not to think about it all the time and hope that these feelings will fade.
hope this helps
bluntasaspoon
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A
female
reader, RubyRouge +, writes (20 August 2008):
I have also felt like this about a teacher, in fact I still do! So I don't know if what you're feeling is love, and I don't know how long it will take for your feelings to go, if they do at all. And if it isn't love, then it feels a lot like it, right?
But I can tell you not to tell him how you feel. If he is a teacher, it will only complicate things, especially if he is your cousins best friend. Also you have to think about his career, and the awkward position you would be putting him in. Try talking to a friend about it, but don't say anything to him.
I hope I've been able to help :)
xx
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (20 August 2008):
 If I gave away a pund every time one of these teacher - pupil relationships work out, I still be a rich little girl. You don't need to mess with his head and should stop messing up your own. Try going out with someone younger. Chances are if you tell him he'll just be embaressed and stop saying "Hi".Yes those feelings will go away. Sooner you let them the faster they'll go. Falling in love is not to be taken without without a pince of salt.However, on another note, you haven't specified how old he is - if you're 17 and he's 23 then that's only 6 years - you'll be 32 and he'll be 38 -people wouldn't bat an eyelid. You should wait til your out of shcool and then act on it, if that's what you want.JellyxxxPS Sorry for being blunt. :)
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