A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello I'm in love with this bloke but he has MOOBS! (That's man boobs for those of you who don't know)I don't want to sound shallow but we all know that looks play an important role in attraction. I don't care about race, colour, nationality, religion....but I care about looks, and he isn't terribly attractive. He has moobs and is a bit of a chub, and frankly his hairstyle is just rubbish. Oh and also his nose resembles that of a pig!That's all that I dislike about him though. Should I talk to him and see if I can get him to exercise or cut his hair? Or if that's rude, how can I look past the looks and continue loving him? He's a very special man.
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 God what a dilemma i know exactly how you are feeling i used to date this guy who had really smelly feet and it used to drive me insane. I eventually had to ask him to get some advice from his doctor as i couldnt stand it. If we went out together with other couples i would be worried sick incase anyone would smell them. He didnt mind when i told him. A way around it is you could start a really frank conversation with him and ask him what he likes/dislikes about you, tell him not to hold anything back. You could then have your turn and tell him what bothers you and then maybe you could both try and change these things together.
Good luck
Aunty t
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): god have i got a twin out there who thinks the same as me??????? i feel totally the very same about my boyfriend! everyone says i can do better.to be honest i find him repulsive but i try and see past that!lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): You simply are being honest about how you feel and it proves you are human, not shallow as the the Aunts below have suggested. You are right. The harsh reality of love and relationships, is that in most cases, physical attraction really does matter. But I know you will agree that true love is the marination of qualities to do with respect, admiration, appreciation and character. The suggestion from Martini, that you encourage your man to make improvements in his looks, was good. Of course you can should sit with him and tell him that you want to exercise with him and help him. The benefits to one's health is important, as well. As long as you respect him and you are loving and supportive, I see no problem with what you want to do. Everyone needs room in their life for improvement...no one is perfect. But if he can lose some weight and get a new haircut, the benefits to you and to him will deeply enhance your relationship. So go for it and good luck!
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A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (9 March 2007):
 I'm with martini on this one, looks do play a large part. Especially in this case when it can all be changed for the better (except the nose, that was pretty harsh!:-p) instead of telling him his haircut is ugly and his gaining weight, why not suggest that you take him to a good salon or something? That way he can benefit and be alittle more stylish. As for the exercise thing, definitely follow martini's advice, do something together. That way he wont feel under pressure to improve but in the mean time, he'll go ahead and take the steps to get thinner
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): Though I think AskEve has some good points on love and such, I however believe that physical attire do play a role in a compatible relationship. If you think about it, can you ever be with someone who has hundreds of boils all over his face, acne every part of his ass, long greasy hair, and a lopsided nutsack with huge moles on his inner thighs?
[smiles back at you]
You can't, can you?
Well, let's lower the extreme back to the original post. If you love the guy, then his physical attire shouldn't take primary, but if it bothers you enough, you can always tactfully encourage him to exercise a bit, and you can exercise with him. This doesn't necessarily have to be gym exercises. How about hiking, swimming and other sports you two can do together?
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A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (8 March 2007):
 I agree with Eve, she always tells it how it is! You say he`s special; I agree, he`s too special for you. Heather.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): if he's that special some moobs shouldn't be hard to look over. just focus on his good qualities.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You're right, you ARE shallow! I'm sure you're not exactly perfect yourself but he is obviously more mature and looks at the inner beauty of a person rather than the outward. Remember, looks fade with age but a healthy personality never dies! I suggest you watch "Shallow Hal!"
Lighten up a bit and give he guy a break. If you're not happy with the way he looks and it's that important to you then leave him to find someone who WILL love him for WHO he is and not HOW he looks! Continue in the frame of mind you're in and you'll end up a sad lonely old woman and you'll never find true happiness.
Eve
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