A
female
age
41-50,
*nknown0311
writes:So I have known this guy Dave* for a little over a year. I don’t know when it happened but somewhere along the line we became attracted to one and other and began some sort of relationship. Slight problem? He lives with his girlfriend. There was a problem with this relationship far before I came into the picture.. But now we this has been going on for almost 5 months and we are very happy. He says that this isn't where he wants to be. That this hard on him and he didn't plan on being with her again when they broke up and he moved away. But she had problems and so she moved in with him. They have been together for 3 years. He won't tell me why he needs to stay right now, but he feels it is the right thing to do for her. He says he wants to be with me, but will not leave his situation now. He is doing what he thinks is the right thing. We both know that what we are doing is wrong and we both deal with that guilt in different ways. But we really are so happy when we are together. Sometimes we will get together and just stay up talking until 8am the next day! I just don't know what to do. I am falling in love this guy and he is with me. We talk all the time, I see him all the time. The situation on his home front is so bizarre. I don't know when they ever even see each other since he is always with me or on the phone with me. (we work opposite schedules, but even then talk my entire work day) We are even spending Valentine's Day together..I know that I won't leave him. There is a connection there.. One of those WOW this only comes along a few times in your life kind of connection. He says he wants to be the man to make me happy.. I told him then he should let me go and it'll hurt, but I will get over him and let me find someone who can give themselves to me completely.. He didn't like that option either, but would understand if I took it. he's like me, he doesn't want to let go either. Neither of us has ever been a cheater before, so it's new for both of us.. I just do't know how much time I really should give before I MAKE myself walk away, broken hearted. Advice, a kind word.. Something to help..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 January 2010):
I'm sure it does. I just hope it works. A guy who loves you will commit to you, not make excuses up. Don't be second best.
A
female
reader, Unknown0311 +, writes (29 January 2010):
Unknown0311 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUgh! You're right Caring Guy, that's the wake up call I need to hear!! I need a good verbal slap in the face every now and then.. And with this I need one right now.. Stings a little, but that will subside..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 January 2010):
Wake up. He's using you. If he won't leave, then he's just using you as an escape and nothing more. A million men play the same line on a million women every day. 'I love you but can't leave my girlfriend'. Crap. He's using you as an escape, and that's it. Sorry to be blunt, but there it is. So make a decision. Second best to this guy, or the most important woman on earth to another. You only have to look at posts on this site to see how many women are used and abused by men who claim they 'love but can't leave'. Don't fall for it.
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