A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel like a right fool.Me and this guy at work have been flirting for about a year and have kissed a numerous occasions, he only shows an interest now and then which never makes me feel good because I know he is just using me for a quick thrill, I have gave him 2 hand jobs but because I like him I just went along with it.He said to me he was single but had someone he sees like me now and again, I wasn't to happy with his but again just went along with it, he knows he is good looking and women like him.I have just found out that he actually has a girlfriend of three years, who he lives with. I am at rock bottom, I know I was never going to be his girlfriend but why do guys do this. Me and another colleague were just talking and his name came up and she said he is a right player, he has 2 phones, one for work and his girlfriend and a phone for his "chicks" on the side which I am on, she said he loves his girlfriend and she doesn't have a clue what he is like and that most guys do it, it's like they have someone nice and then cheap girls to have fun with without any hassle. I am ashamed of myself although I am glad I didn't sleep with him.I have always had a policy never to get involved with anyone at work but I felt an instant attraction to him and thought why not.I feel for his girlfriend but I want to show him up for what he is, not that he'd be bothered as by the sounds of it he has loads of woman on the go.I have no way of finding out his girlfriends name to tell her he is a cheater.HELP. Why do guys do this?He found out today that I know this about him but doesn't seem bothered by it, he's still flirting with me like nothing has changed. What should I say/do? He obviously just thinks of me as a tart with no heart and that's not true, he was the first guy I have kissed. Wha should I say to him to say it's over, we wont be kissing etc. again and youve made me feel a right fool although he wont be bothered.
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at work, cheap, flirt, hand-job, has a girlfriend, kissing, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Ignore him. That is the best thing you can do if he flirts with you I would tell him, you know what, save that for your GF, then walk away. Hopefully that will shut him up.
As for telling the GF. Don't worry about it, he will be caught sooner or later. If you did try and find her and tell her - who knows what drama it will stir up. I'm a big believer in Karma, and Karma has this guy on her shit-list..
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 January 2010):
Not all guys do act this way. There area lot that don't. The problem is that guys like this are so good at making women feel great, and women just fall for it. Remember the saying 'nice guys finish last'. Well it's true most of the time, because nice guys don't act this way, this don't get the attention. Sadly, the signs about this guy were there, and you either missed them or chose to miss them because you liked him. He was always flirting, but never offered a real date. He was quick to get you to do things to him when he felt like it, and he even said that he was single but had someone he saw now and again. These signs are all out there if you take time to look. If you want a nice guy, don't pick someone from work, and always get to know them very well before you do anything. Just tell him you know he has a girlfriend and you can't see him anymore. You are right, he won't care, but that's who he is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): Well first of all well done for doing the right thing by not giving into this low-life.
I don't know why men do this, but chances are, if they do then they're not a proper man, people shouldn't bother with people who are like that...always.
I say expose him for what he is. People shouldn't be able to get away with that when they have a partner, that's not cool.
By the sounds of it, he won't stop what he's doing, but atleast his girlfriend can get her self respect back
:)
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A
female
reader, visione +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Argh I hate people like this. They play with people's hearts and then wonder why some people are so closed off. I'm sorry you had to find out about this so late. They are just players, they feel no guilt toying with other people's emotions. It's not just guys either, girls do it too. Just learn to spot them earlier to save yourself the heartache.
You should just ignore him from now on, it will be difficult since you are coworkers - just focus on your job. If he makes advances tell him to back off. As long as he doesn't bother you, you should be fine. But if he does, find another job if thats an available choice. Don't tell him you feel like a fool, it will put him above you - I would say something along the lines of "you disgust me." :)
As for his gf, how did you find out about it? Was it your other coworker who told you? This would be very difficult to tell her regardless, since she probably trusts him over you (a stranger). If you have some solid proof it might work but be careful, tread lightly..
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