A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need serious help falling asleep. I have gotten into a really really bad pattern and it is destroying me. I'm a very deep sleeper and once I'm asleep I can be gone for a good 8 hours but recently I just can't get there. I used to go to bed about half 9 and then read for a bit an sleep about 10. About 6 months ago I started a business and had a lot of late nights. I work from home and am surrounded by technology all day - computer, iPad, iphone etc and I now find it very hard to turn off and even when I'm I'm bed at a decent hour like I used to be I just lie awake. The office space is separate from the living part of the house but i still struggle to zone out from it. Recently it's gotten so bad I can feel the tension in my upper body. Ita like the base of my neck and my shoulder blades is burning. The tension is painful and that keeps me awake longer. Then I get stressed. I've even cried about it. All I want to do is sleep at a reasonable hour but I can't. I feel broken :( As it stands right now I don't fall asleep before 4am but its not deep sleep. I wake about 9am. My body is stiff. What's worse is I am only sleeping every second night - I see that's its 4am and try to get myself back on track by not sleeping, them when it comes to 8ish that night, even though I am shattered, I still can't sleep and again don't sleep until 4am.I need advice. This is destroying my partners sleep as well as I constantly tossing and turning. I have tried sleeping pills for a week as I thought maybe I could get back on track that way but they only worked some nights and not others. I've tried a hot drink with no caffeine and it didn't help. I tried reading but I get too into the book and struggle to put it down. I've tried hot baths and body lotions too. I even bought new bedding. Nothing works and I'm terrified that I won't get out of this cycle. What else can I do? I'm getting desperate. I miss sleeping at the same time as my partner. :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2013): I have had problems sleeping too, last week I didn't sleep all night not for one minute, it got so bad my boyfriend has been sleeping in the spare room and I've missed work because of it.I went to the doctors and they gave me some techniques to try to get to sleep better because I also find it hard getting to sleep but when I'm asleep im out for count.Anyway, the doctor said to not read, watch tv or have anything in the bedroom to distract me from sleeping, she also said to try going to bed at the same time every night. I told her sometimes I just lie there wide awake tossing and turning for hours and she said to not just lie there if I cant sleep, get up and do something and then go back to bed and try sleeping again.Also, make sure you go to bed when you feel really tired because when I've gone to bed at like 11-12ish I go straight to sleep but the other night I was bored so I went to bed at like half 9 knowing I was not really tired and that night I didn't fall asleep until half 1- 2ishI also read online to lie there and concentrate on your breathing and relax every muscle in your body from your head, neck, shoulders, arms, this had helped me too.
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (18 January 2013):
Everyone's advice is very good, so I don't want to repeat what they have already said. What I'm adding is simply on top of what's been mentioned already. So when you are in bed and trying to sleep but you can't, I know how it feels. Thoughts start popping into your head about things that should have been done, things that need to be done tomorrow, etc. Then as it gets later, you start worrying about not being able to sleep, thinking about how you will feel tomorrow, worrying if you will ever get to sleep, etc. All these stressful thoughts makes it much more difficult to get to sleep.
So instead, when you are in bed trying to sleep, think about other non-stressful things. I've started to imagine a story - sort of like a daydream. About princesses or some adventure. Whatever you like. Since it's a story, it's not part of your worries and won't stress you out. So I just follow along imagining the story until I'm tired and fall asleep. You can also try focusing on your breathing. You breathe slowly as though you are asleep and you count the length of your breaths, keeping them nice and even. So you go, INHALE one two three four EXHALE one two three four. And that is so boring that it might put you to sleep. Plus, the slowing down the breathing helps too. Just make sure to shut out stressful thoughts. Focus on the breathing or the story.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (18 January 2013):
Hi there. I realize that running a business from home will take a lot of your time, and you are probably doing it all on your own, are you?
The challenging part of running a business from home, is that you are constantly in the workplace.
You don't ever leave it.
It's there all the time and you are completely surrounded by all the computer equipment and bits and pieces, that it takes to run your business smoothly.
So there is consequently always the temptation to do some little thing that you just thought of.
And so, you just go ahead and do it.
Whereas, if you were working somewhere else, meaning you had to leave home each day to get there, well then you would be leaving work behind at the end of the day, and walking out that door and going home.
You would start at a certain time each day and then finish at a certain time each day. Totalling no more than an average 8 hours every day.
And whatever you couldn't finish today, you simply do it tomorrow.
When you work from home, that just doesn't happen.
So this is the problem you are faced with.
The boundaries between home life and work life become completely blurred.
So there lies the very essence of the problem.
Your "work" hours have no real boundaries. No official start time and no official finish time.
And this is a BIG part of the problem.
Because you said here, that your sleeping pattern used to be quite regular, getting 8 hours of good quality sleep every night.
Before you started your home based business.
And then once you started this business working from home, well then that's when all your sleep problems began.
So the real key to success here, is to sit down and determine a certain start time each day, and then finish work at a certain time each day also.
And stick strictly to those start and finish times - every single day.
And after that time - just say it's 6 pm - well then, you do no more work until start time tomorrow.
And if you can organize it, leave Saturdays and Sundays free all day.
Which means NO WORK whatsoever, on those days.
Keep work restricted to Monday to Friday ONLY - no weekends at all.
While it's very convenient working from home - no rent, no commuting to work, no wasting time travelling, no public transport holdups, or if you are driving no slow traffic which makes you late. And saving money on petrol or else money on fares.
Plus you control when you start and when you finish, and so you have no-one to answer to but yourself.
So there are many advantages to working from home, no doubt about it.
But of course, the downside as you are now seeing, is there are no limits being set as far as times are concerned.
There is a definite tendency to just go on working throughout the night, without taking the need for sleep into consideration very much.
And just as a balanced diet is good for your health, so is good sleep every night.
And a good 8 hours sleep every night, will make you so much more productive each day, I promise you.
And no matter what, nothing else will make up for NOT getting enough quality sleep each night.
Even if you have TEN cups of coffee each day to keep your energy levels up (which I really would NOT recommend), it still is nowhere near as effective for your energy levels as really good sleep every single night.
Nothing can replace sleep - is what I am saying here.
So the real key here, is in having definite start and finish times every day - and absolutely NO MORE WORK after finish time.
There does need to be balance in a person's life - between work and play.
Your free time really needs to be spent with your life partner.
Another important thing to consider if you don't do this already, is to exercise at least 3-5 days a week for 30 minutes each time.
Walking is a great way to do that, and costs nothing.
All you need is just a good pair of walking shoes and comfortable, loose clothing that breathes.
It's a great stress reliever and also helps you to sleep well at night.
So regular exercise (walking), plus absolutely restricting your working hours to no more than 8 hours per day - every single day - will very quickly bring your sleep patterns back into balance once more.
And also, perhaps you could take up something like yoga - which is very relaxing - say once a week, and this will also help you to learn how to relax and get rid of stress, so you can unwind enough to just go straight off to sleep when you want to.
If you keep your work days strictly from say 9am to 5pm and have a short lunch break half way through, and get into the habit of this, you will begin a very healthy routine and once your work day ends, well then you can simply relax for the rest of the night and go to bed about 10 or 11pm.
No-one can work all night.
Eventually, working for too long each day will cause you to just start getting sick all the time (colds, flu, viruses), or else you are just tired ALL the time, suffering from burnout and physical collapse.
It's just NOT worth it. Life is too short.
So when it gets to either 5 or 6pm each night, you simply switch all computers, ipad, iphone - OFF.
Then you walk into the living room and sit down and chill out for the rest of the night.
And forget all about work until TOMORROW.
Now regards your stiff neck and shoulders.
A few simple stretches of your neck and shoulders - at any time day or night - will help relieve any muscle tightness caused by sitting at your computer for long hours.
In any case, you ought to be taking a few minutes away from your computer screen every hour and stretch your neck, shoulders, back, arms and legs.
Stretching feels SO good, it really revives you.
And keep drinking water regularly as well, throughout your day.
Mind you, the stretching and short breaks each hour, does NOT replace the need for having definite start and finish times for your working day.
They are additional to all that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2013): Exercise every day for at least half an hour.
Then just before bed time read a very boring book. For example read a textbook of a subject you hated when you were in school. Some thing that does not interest you in the least but force yourself to pay attention to it. That always makes me sleepy.
If it doesn't work you might try taking up meditation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2013): Yes, I had a similar experience. This is what the sleep specialist told me:" NO I will not prescribe you sleep medications. You need to:1. Exercise vigorously daily2. Reduce your stress3. Wake up at the same time each day, whether you sleep well or not. 4. Stop the stimulation from computers/TV by 8pm at night (screen light tricks your brain into thinking its high noon)."So by 8pm I just read books or the ipad and quieted down the house. I'd open windows to let fresh air in, put on soft music. Drink tea. Cuddle with my hubby.I also read, "The promise of sleep" By Dr. Dement a Stanford University sleep specialist. AMAZING BOOK which cleared up further what my issues with sleep were. Read it or get its audiobook. It's thick but a super stimulating read.The doctors advise was awesome. He could have easily prescribed me with medications, but what I truly needed was to tweak my lifestyle.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, CANDY61  +, writes (18 January 2013):
Well, as for me I struggle staying awake, I like to get in bed and read but I can never get pass the first paragraph before the book drop out of my hand but I can tell you that when my son's girlfriend dumped him he couldn't get to sleep or stay sleep one hour without waking up so I remember Dr Oz saying Tart Cherrie Juice would help so I bought him some Tart Cherrie Juice and he took it every night and now he can get to sleep and sleep until the alarm go off.
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