A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay I really need some help with this because quite frankly its driving me nuts :( i have been having sex for a good number of years, and never really bothered much to consider my own pleasure. Sex has always been pretty standard for me, have had problems with it emotionally as my first boyfriend was a sex addict and i think it may have messed me up a little bit. He was always on all the time and it didnt matter whether I wanted it or not it was about his pleasure. not mine.But recently i have started seeing this guy who is absolutely amazing at cunnilingus (hope im spelling that right), and time and time again he could spend a good hour down there trying to make me orgasm and what happens is this. I can feel the build up, my body tenses up and i feel like the ground is shuddering beneath me. it is honestly the most intense feeling ever. but just before i feel like im about to orgasm, it intensifies and gets really really strong and i panic and push him away because when i wait too long for the release its painful. and i end up frustrated because i cannot seem to release my orgasm. i dont know what to do about this. i've tried relaxing and breathing exercises and all that. my orgasm just doesnt seem to want to come out :( any women out there ever have a similar problem? any help is much appreciated! x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, StraightTalker  +, writes (15 September 2010):
I think you may be getting confused as to what an orgasm is and what it should feel like...It sounds to me like the intense feeling you describe IS the orgasm. What are you expecting after the "intense feeling" and the "shuddering"? When you pull away, is because your clit feels too sensitive coz after orgasm your clit goes supersensitive and can be painful to the touch.
One last peice of advice that may or may not apply to you...dont compare yourself to the women in porn etc, remember their orgasms aren't real, its all acting. Orgasms often dont last any longer than a few seconds WHATEVER you read in mags etc.
I hope I helped :-)
A
male
reader, JamesBM  +, writes (11 September 2010):
Well I can't say I'm a woman, lol, but it's perfectly normal, female orgasms are way let's say harder than male orgasms. It will people really intense/painful but in the end, you'll go nuts on pleasure, or even gush some squirt. Just hang in there and you'll get to your orgasm. Cheers, and Good luck :) James.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): Do you masturbate at all? Because if you don't, then you may want to start with pleasuring yourself. Then after you've "trained" your body to enjoy the stimulus from pleasuring yourself, it might be more read/less afraid to start to experience it from cunnilingus. After which the next step is orgasming from intercourse while you touch yourself down there, followed by while HE touches you down there... and last of all comes learning how to orgasm while having sex and noone is touching you with the hands down there. Most important thing of all through all of this is to relax. If you do not relax, you WILL NOT have an orgasm. Orgasm and relaxation go hand in hand.
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A
female
reader, sarahrose20  +, writes (11 September 2010):
i did have a similar problem with my boyfriend and our solution was a vibrator when i feel that intense feeling i tell him im about to orgasm and he starts using the vibrator as a dildo if he does it right i will orgasm almost immediately but sometimes it takes him longer
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