A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can't help but still feel insecure when it comes to my boyfriend's ex-flings. I Facebook them often, and have even made fake profiles to try to friend them (which haven't work) so I can keep tabs on them. My boyfriend has had a problem with lying in the past before we were official, and while everything seems ok now, I still have this nagging obsession with the girls I know he's been with. Is there any way to stop the obsessing and move on with my relationship??
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Why do you feel you need to compare yourself to his ex's? Do you feel that if you're not keeping tabs on them that they are secretly seeking out your boyfriend? They lying, official or not official is not okay. It sets the standards for your relationship. If you are that worried about it, why not just ask him? It's okay to. You need to remember that this is your relationship, and that he is not with his ex's, so who they are and what they do is no longer important. You're wasting your time and taking away from the relationship you could be having by focusing in the wrong areas. Right now matters, who he was with in the past does not.
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