A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I offer to let him use the diamond from my previous marriage?I know my boyfriend plans to propose, probably sometime this year. Neither of us make a lot of money. I still have my wedding/engagement rings from my first marriage (only because I haven't bothered to do anything with them). The diamond in the ring is quite large-and if reset into a new setting, I don't think it would bother me in the least that the diamond itself came from my ex.However, I feel this may be insulting to my boyfriend to even offer...I have mixed feelings. On one hand, I can see it being completely practical. I mean, what use do I have for this ring now? Who cares about the origin of the diamond if he used it in a new ring? But, on the other hand, it is from my ex, and I think my boyfriend might be put off by the suggestion.
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money, my ex, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 January 2014):
 I'd sell the rings as well and not "offer" the diamonds for a new one.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (30 January 2014):
 Sell the rings and when you and the boyfriend go ring shopping offer to chip in so you and he can get the rings you both like.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 January 2014):
 Bad idea. Well, if it is a just a matter of being practical ,- then why even bother resetting the diamond ? You could even save that money ! You happen to have an engagement ring available , - just agree to re- baptize it as HIS engagement ring, and you would be done .
Fact is, either you value symbols and believe in them, ( and use them properly ) - or you don't. If you don't, a ring is just a ring , a material object without any special meaning , so you can use the one you have already, even without resetting it, or ,actually, no ring at all. Use the money instead to buy yourselves something " practical "- a new sofe or a new kitchen or something.
If you do believe in symbols, you need something new signifying you and your bf's new, special, unique bond. It does not have to be an expensive diamond, it can be something cheaper- but it's got to be something just his and yours.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2014): not a good idea..don't bring old baggage (or ring) to the new relationship!... having or not having a diamond you still have love and that is a stronger thing than material things..why not get a unique band that is less expensive than a diamond?.. I would rather have a rubber band on my finger and eat ramen noodle soup with the love of my life than have the big diamond, big house and be unhappy..
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A
male
reader, lost cartographer +, writes (30 January 2014):
sell the ring. then talk about marriage. If he wants to tell him that there is this money available that he can use whenever the moment arises.
do not use the same diamond. As a man I dont think that I would like that. I could handle the money. Money is just money
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2014): I think it is not a good Idea.I would prefer to go by a less expensive ring even a fake one instead of offering your boyfriend to propose you with your ex Husband's diamond.It may look practical but you may hurt his feeling and his ego!
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