A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to this girl for a while now and I really like her. I thought she liked me as well, so I told her how I felt and it turned out she wasn't looking for a boyfriend and she said she was sorry if she gave me the wrong impression. Obviously I was a bit upset and things got a bit awkward between us but we still carried on being friends. But the other week I was texting her and for the next couple of days she didn't reply at all and I just thought she was busy or something, but she hasn't replied to any of my texts all week now and we've finished college now so I can't just talk to her in person. So i'm getting the feeling she's just ignoring me, but I have no idea why, I just want some advice on what to do.
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 I'm happy for you, you will get over her and will realize how she was not worth your time anyways....You man up and grew up Congrats!
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (27 May 2010):
 Now, for this I applaud you, Poster! You've demonstrated some admirable intestinal fortitude in your most recent follow up.
This is a character trait not often demonstrated under heavy fire, I salute you for it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to say sorry everyone, I was just very frustrated yesterday with the whole situation. I know my actions are what caused her to ignore me and I shouldn't of taken it out on everyone here. Well I'll learn from my mistakes I suppose and thanks for the advice anyway. I won't see her any more so it shouldn't be too hard to get her off my mind.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 You are very young but old enough to have noticed that now always people do what they are suppposed to do.
People should not cross the street when the red light is on, but they do.
people should not pick their nose, but they do.
People should tell you I'm not gonna talk to you anymore because of this and that, but they don't.
Why ?. Because they care more about doing what they want to do than about doing the right thing.
She just did not care enough about you to be polite. She does not care how you can see or judge or feel about her silence.
The sooner you realize that the sooner you can move on.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (27 May 2010):
I feel she was rude to not respond back, but in reality there is not much you can do. I think you should move on with your life, you will be a good catch for someone else so just let this one go.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (27 May 2010):
Methinks the OP doth protest too much!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 May 2010):
 You're right, it would have been civil of her to tell you why she's not responding. But she's not, so perhaps she's a coward? Or mean? Or busy.
Whatever she is, you need to let it go. You are worrying this thing like a terrier with a rodent.
No closure sucks, I agree. It happens to all of us. Let it go, if you want a chance of an on-going friendship. She knows how to reach you.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (27 May 2010):
Poster: what, exactly, is there to help here?
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Maybe she tried for that 2-3 days, but realized that she felt too uncomfortable and that's why she cut communication. Maybe she did like you, but didn't want to get caught up in a long distance relationship because you were both going separate directions in a matter of days. Maybe she never liked you and was just pretending to be your friend. Maybe she lost her phone and hasn't been able to get a new one yet. Maybe she has a "500lb gorilla BF."
Speculation gets you no where. She has cut communication. You can beat yourself up trying to figure out why, or move on. I suggest moving on. Let her get in contact if she wants to, that's all you can do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk well what would you of said instead then, that would of been so much better?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLook can we stop taking everything I say so literally, by saying f off I mean just tell me, even in just a text, can you leave me alone please and/or a reason why she wants me to leave her alone. I could accept that and just leave it. I'm starting to regret posting it on here, you and BunnyTee aren't helping at all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI never said to her you upset me or anything like that, I just said to her don't be sorry, I just feel a bit stupid for thinking you liked me. Then we left it at that, I never brought it up again and we just carried on talking to each other like normal friends for the next 2-3 days, then that's when she started ignoring me, so surely if it was me telling her my feelings that made her ignore me she would of done that straight after she found out.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 May 2010):
You changed the dynamic of the relationship when you told her you had feelings for her. She probably tried to keep on talking to you as a friend but couldn't shake that image of you being upset. And she probably feels a bit guilty and sad that she couldn't reciprocate your feelings, but there it is.
When a girl tells you that she doesn't want a relationship right now, that means really that she doesn't see herself in a relationship with you. She could well be VERY interested in someone else and doesn't want to lose her chance of dating him by seeming to get caught up in a daing relationship with you.
The friendship was fine as long as you stayed on your side of the divide. You didn't. You attempted to get closer and that's what has made her uncomfortable.
By the way, how did you show her you were upset?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would of thought it would be common decency to tell me she doesn't want anything to do with me, all she has to do is text me ONCE, she doesn't have to say it to my face.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (26 May 2010):
And facebook does not tell all, It's not the All-Knowing Oracle by with you may deduce all manner of mysterious truths and divine the *real* meaning of ignore. Garbage in, garbage out. It tells only what is input! Wise up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not trying to get her to go out with me, I can take a hint, I just want to be friends with her as we really get on with each other and it would be a shame for that to go to waste. And this might seem weird but the sort of guy that needs a reason to do something, if she just told me to f*ck off, then at least I definitely know. Well like most of you have said I'm wasting my time, I doubt I'll see her ever again anyway as we're both going to different uni's next year and we've finished college now.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (26 May 2010):
Poster: it's called using absurdity to illustrate an absurdity. The choice was your's to make..she's not responding? Um, she's ignoring you...go figure. An absurdity is designed to make the obvious much more obvious..what's the probability of a 500lb gorilla breathing fire ,anyway? I think you get the point.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Like Tisha said let it go, I think her reasons are fairly obvious she's not interested and doesn't want to lead you on.
You have to stop texting her and just let it go. I think her lack of response shows how much she's interested, if you keep texting her then that can seem desperate if not a little creepy. Take the hint and leave her alone.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 May 2010):
Maybe she just decided it was easier not to talk to you anymore, as school was ending, and was too scared or couldn't be bothered to tell you not to text her any longer. She may just feel awkward.
I think you should just leave it. She knows how to contact you if she wants to. If you keep texting her, at this point, you're likely to put her off completely and then next year you will have ZERO chance with her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfunny but not really helpful. I know she's single, as facebook tells all. One thing I forgot to mention was that I tried ringing her on several occasions and she didn't pick up.
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female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (26 May 2010):
Well, I'd say she's either ignoring you as you suspect- as evidenced by the lack of replies OR her new 500lb gorilla of a boyfriend is reading her texts and breathing fire from his nostrils, cracking his knuckles waiting for a shot at you.
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male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Ignore her too! She got your messages, so don't try to excuse her that she might not got them or she was too busy to reply and all that! So, whatever her reasons, that's what she choose to do and that's what you should do too buddy. Get her off your mind and don't text her ever again. Best wishes!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Well She may be trying to sort her situation out, maybe she has had a break up or a previous bad relationship and isn't ready to be going out with somebody at this point in time. You should calm it down, don't text her as much as you normally would and see if she texts you back or tries to make any contact, don't seem to be eager and maybe she'll come around. Try to stay good friends with her so at least she gets a sense of the type of person you are. Girls like it when they can share personal things with close guy friends and when the time is right she'll ask you out on her own terms. Try not to push her into doing anything, just try to make your friendship with her stronger and then ask her how she feels about you two going out. Hope everything goes well :) x
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male
reader, loonman4 +, writes (26 May 2010):
She's already told you that she's not interested, so I suggest that you move on and not waste any more energy on her.
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