A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a guy and am gay but not out. I have known one of my best friends for about four years now, we are extremely close and just lately I have really been attracted to him but I think he is straight. But I do not know this for sure. He has not had a girlfriend since before I met him and he keeps looking at me when I am not looking at him and I keep thinking that perhaps he likes me back.However people have teased us in the past saying that we are a couple when we have not been and he has always taken a dislike to this so I am really not sure.I really like him and if I could get with him I would but I dont know how to, as I dont want to break up our friendship.Can anyone give me any advice? We are also all of to university soon and I want to make the most of the time we have left together.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, zayn  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 since he doesn't have a girlfriend. and he must sense that you love and desire him. i think he's interested.
A
male
reader, totalsum +, writes (24 September 2008):
Dear Wondering after all these crazy years,
Or should I say after all these crazy...whatevers it is ! So all these people around you say he and you are
a what...couple? And he's still following you around like
the 'puppy' { french here for doll, baby }and hasn't even gave you the hour in Euro-time, much less the moment.
Or, girl, is it that your alarm clock has been sounding
and you've not awaken as of yet ? Did he hear too, if the people around you " guys " do so refer to " him and you " as the couple? Are these people that are telling you this
your friends, or are they mutual friends? Here's what I'm
to say..ask for a poll. I'd start with " my best friend "
and gay from there. There's really nothing to loose if he
is " really " one of your " best friends " and everyone's
mutual in your ring of friendship. He may already know as
to how you feel, or not so. Precede with caution, though!
Your etheral Aunt'im pulling
for your total sum in life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): You're in a tough spot, he may be gay or he may be straight, and even if he is gay he may not be interested in anything other than friendship with you. I personally am tactless, something that your friend seems robust enough to deal with from what you've described. If I was in your situation I would probably say something along the lines of: "This is a joke if you say no, but do you want to have sex?"
Plausable deniability, you can play it off as a bad joke if he says no, but it also gives him the opportunity to say yes. Goodluck! :oD
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): Wow I've wnt through the same thing with my bestfriend because i liked him, but he was not gay, and ppl called us gay(we was\are so close) and he really didnt care, so i started liking him, until i finely asked him culd i suck his penis(thought he would like but...he didnt and it never happend. It never affected our friendship, but it did make me feel alittle akward being around him. The best thing i can tell u is do what u feel and see what happens, because u never know. then again he might be affraid and wnt u to ask him. If somthing bad happen play the whole thing off like a joke and continue begin friends, becuse yall might not be going out phyically, but what u think about and what's in your mind about him wont hurt him.
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A
female
reader, AgonyAuntAnnie +, writes (22 April 2008):
 I feel that you should tell this guy that you have strong emotions and feelings for him and if he stoems off then he is not worth being with. Go for it.
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A
male
reader, lifecycle +, writes (22 April 2008):
Its a really awkward situation to be in, I can only imagine. Are your feelings strong enough to risk losing your best friend? I say this because if he is straight, and not interested, then it will be very very awkward for you both to carry on a "close" friendship. On the other hand, maybe there is a slim chance that he has similar feelings. You know him better then most if you have been best friends for 4 years, what do you think deep down, taking your feelings out of the picture for a second?Im sorry my answer isnt that helpful, just a few points to think on before taking any action!Take care, I hope things work out for you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Hello there,Although am a girl,but i know exactly what you mean,because some of my bestfrs. are gay,and i know exactly how they think,and we had such things happen in the group.i just thought it might really help you,if before you take any kind of move,if your bestfr. is gay??!!from what youve told me,its very very possible,because after 4 years of close friendship,you must at least have noticed him talking to girls he like or trying to date or anything that might show hes str.you know,sometimes when 2 people are so close as friends,them getting into a relationship is not goin to go like their friendship did.things will change,it wont be the same,and cause of that sometimes we should giveup something we really want to something much much bigger like your friendship.if not,and you knew in a way or another that he is actually gay,you have to know if the feelings are mutaul,if not its goin to hurt evrything youve ever built for 4 years,and it wouldnt have been worth it.but if knew in a way that you actually feel the same,it might be fate!sometimes thats how great realationships start.but you should never do this unless you really knew that you can stay and support each other,not just go different ways,as i knew that you guys have to go to uni.cause that will only hurt both of you,it starts as an attraction,then ends up as love....at least great friendships might never die...think about it
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