A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Readers,I am wondering whether my disappointment and hurt is warranted in a siutation that has just occurred. I have been in contact with a guy over the Internet for the last 3 years. I was particularly vulnerable when I first started talking to him after getting out of a physically, sexually and verbally abusive relationship and this guy wanted me to go on Skype etc and said if I didn't that would be the end of things. Reluctantly I started doing it.Anyway he said that he would really like to meet me but has never offered to pay for my airfare or to contribute towards it or make sounds like he will and then never comes through. When I don't go on Skype his latest comment was that he would make me a deal and pay for the first four nights in a hotel in Sydney but he wanted me to pay for my airfare. He said he wanted to seal the deal with an arse Fuck from me on Skype.Anyway, I said that I would prefer it if he could pay half for my airfare as I'm not sure whether I trust this guy or whether he would even be there when I arrive in Sydney and wonder whether he is perhaps a Voyer. He refused to pay for half my airfare even though I believe this would have been a cheaper option that four nights in a hotel for him.As of late I decided that I would just book a return flight on my credit card and pay for a hotel for the first couple of nights myself despite the fact that I am on a pension and this guy has a very good job and a lovely house in Crows Nest that I have seen pictures of. He said that I could stay at his house for a week after the first two initial nights in a hotel.Yesterday I went ahead and made the booking and thought it would probably do my good to have a decent holiday and go for 5 weeks and BackPack for the rest of my trip as I really need to leave Perth and get away from my toxic family. I thought rather than spending Christmas on my own in Perth and New Year that I may as well be in Sydney and perhaps be in a different environment for a change. I went ahead yesterday and tried to get a booking at the YHA and found that not only was that place fully booked between the 28th December 2011 to January 2012 but all other BackPackers as well.I told the guy in Sydney that I wasn't able to get any accomodation for this period and could he possibly accomodate me otherwise I would have to pay an additional 87.00 to change my flights and cut my trip short.His reply was that he had just started to make arrangements with his friends for getting a house boat for New Years Eve, I was pushing it too far and that he could not offer me that, despite me telling him that I could not get any other accomodation.He said I thought you were just coming over for a simple 2 week trip.I don't know what the readers think but considering I know that he would expect sex on tap when I was there, been in contact with him for three years, paying my own return airfares and the first two nights in a hotel, I'm feeling quite hurt and annoyed that this guy does not want to spend New Years Eve with me. I mean surely considering he has only just STARTED to make arrangements for New Year's and the house boat I do not know why he could not include me in his plans, yet he would have been happy to have sex with me prior to New Years when I first came over. I am very disappointed and am thinking that I should give the whole idea one big miss and transfer the money I have paid and go somewhere else like Broome for a week or so, and steer clear of this man. I'm feeling used up and am thinking would I feel more used up if I went over to see him. The house Boat thing and him not being able to as he said accomodate me has me seeing warning bells about his intentions towards me, and I believe has showed his true colours as to what he really thinks of me which is obviously not very much!! Could someone please advise whether they think I am well within my rights to feel disappointed, hurt and quite pissed off with him to say the least. I'm thinking perhaps it's best to just try and move on and forget him and that he will only hurt me if I go over??
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cheap, christmas, money, move on, period, the internet Reply to this Question
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male
reader, asap09marc  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 Chick,this guy may be nothing more than an internet predator who has cam sex or collects pics. He may be spending new year with his wife and kids so get back online and dont lay all your eggs in one basket. You should have at least nine guys on your buddy list. You should not give your all to only one contact alone and become attached. To be a successful online dater,you have to be ahead of your game.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 I remember you posted other times about this same guy and situation , about you going to visit him on your own dime and he being reluctant to accomodate you etc.etec, and everybody, but everybody, told you: hey what are you doing, are you nuts ? Of course he is using you,what do you expect ??
To be frank, I have to start thinking that , seen the circumstances, if you still have doubts and keep posting, maybe you are one of those people who just like to see " arse fuck " in print.
But I want to give you the benefit of doubt and I'll take it as a bona fide question : yes, it would be best to move on, and it would be about time. Yes, if you are hurt now you'd probably feel even more hurt and used if you go there . No, you are not really justified in expecting more or in feeling disappointed because tbh this guy has always made abundantly clear that from you he only wants sex on tap ( something kinky too, I think I remember ? ) and has always shunned you and treated you with arrogance. So , it's not like it would be a surprise.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (7 November 2011):
 That "friend" of three years is a fraud... and, once you figure out that you have no future with him, you will be able to get on with your life,.... and may actually meet a NICE GUY someplace.....
Good luck.....
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