A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been happily married for 6 years and very proud to Have a pretty wife and a father of two lovely kids. Just when I should felt like I have everything in the world I have been feeling somewhat empty lately. I miss the time when I actually first fell in love with someone, the process of chasing after girls, the crazy things that I would do to a girl just to impress her, to get her to fall in love with me. I have a lovely family, and i do not want to mess up this relationship but I need some advise on this because I have not been myself lately, and I don't want this to turn into problems later on in times. Thanks
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female
reader, charles1  +, writes (20 December 2010):
Do not use another human being as a scratching post for your unfulfilled longings. Trust me I tried it, it felt so good but it makes you feel lonelier than you ever were. It screws up your thinking; guilt would either eat you up or you would want more of it.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (17 December 2010):
 You have a pretty wife. Find a place to drop off the kids occasionally and re-enact the early days of your dating life.
For example, have her go to a bar, and pretend you don't know her and have to seduce her from nothing. Or park the car somewhere and fool around in the back. Take her somewhere nostalgic for both of you.
I'm sure she'd love it just as much.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 So do that kind of stuff with and for your wife. I'm sure she would love it and somewhat appreciate you still chasing her after your time together.
I would consider the possiblity of clinical depression for your feelings of emptiness (not an MD) and talk to your doctor about it he/she can help you further with that. Everything that you are describing sounds like possible clinical depression.
You sound like you have a beautiful family and it's awesome that you don't want to mess that up, so talk to your doctor and talk with your wife. Perhaps you two can take turns seducing each other again.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Explain how you are feeling, to your Doctor. Your described how you feel as being an ''empty feeling'', and your remarks that indicate you remember a happier time, when you did not get this ''empty feeling.''
You want to regain those happy feelings you felt during that earlier time. Pretty normal wish, who does not want to feel happy?
What you have said suggests to me (but i'm not a medical Dr) that maybe you should consider depression as the real problem? Your Doctor will know the answer.
And you don't want to ''mess up'' your marriage and your lovely family. Good sentiment on your part. You've realised replicating how you behaved as a bachelor is not going to improve your current situation.
You just want a cessation to this ''empty feeling''. And to feel excited, happy and energised, the way you used to feel.
Get some professional advice now, before things get more difficult. I might be wrong, but if my guess is close to the mark, or not, what harm can come from a short visit to the Doctor for a checkup and a short discussion? Take care.
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A
female
reader, EJ  +, writes (17 December 2010):
Hi there. I understand this, been married for 28 years. You want to relive that first kiss, first everything moment. You could go out and do it. How useful would it be? Are you prepared for the consequences? Not only losing your wife but your kids as well? Cause they will remember you as that kind of man.Sometimes we can't accept our happiness that we may want to sabotage it. Could that be the case for you? Only you can answer that question.Everything in life changes. Nothing remains the same. Even if succeed in your pursuit - it will not be the same. Search for a passion, a dream that has not been fulfilled. Parachuting, mountain climbing, writing - whatever that is for you that can create the adrenalin rush again. Shift your energy to these kind of activities and your focus will change.Create things in your life that is useful for you to advance.All the best.
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