A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im fed up with people presuming im happy when im so down. I know this is my fault because i put on a smiley face and pretend im fine but deep down i feel depressed. I have a great supportive family but if i say anything they would laugh it off and tell me to stop being silly. Im 19 years old but still being treated like the baby. At home i feel as though i just exist and have no purpose for being here. Ive been self-harming for months and its a good release from the sadness i feel but a little while later i feel terrible for what i have done to myself.I hate seeing friends and family down and try my best to keep everyone happy, if only they knew how i felt.Sometimes i cry when i go to sleep, and wake up thinking "shit, im still here and its just another day"Help me please!
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female
reader, samohir  +, writes (30 September 2007):
 Terribale feling i must admmitt! Have and still im there. Just doing things you like, seeing people and places you love can benefit a lot! professional help may be benifical also!
And if you dont like people to presume ur happy( im also like that) some of my friends can say everything about their feeling so bad to me, but when it comes to I telling them is a bit harder, Just DONT always put that smiley face, why would you act like that? But i think that its not u r problem at all. I can sense when something is not ALlright with my friends, even when they smile... Its just about ONe ability to sense and see that (presumably becouse One has been in such state also) and willigness to help and ask about it. Even its quite difficult for One to ask such delicate things and often MOre difficult for one if asked to put across... In such state i prefer to be with people who understand my feelings and with whom i do not have to put that smiley face always!
A
female
reader, agony_emz +, writes (30 September 2007):
 hi there!
well i know exacly how you feel i self harmed and at the time it gives you a great rush of freedom that you grave!
but it doesnt last for long only the scare lasts longer!
and i know hoe you feel when you say you put the happy face on but behind closed doors ur a crying wreck even to this day i still do that now again and help others to find away of blocking out my own problems!
i really think u need to talk to someone and yer im talking about a srink! i went to a srink for 3 years and i tell you what if i hadnt spoken out id be in my grave right now! you need to talk to someone who isnt family, who isnt a friend. someone that isnt involved in your everyday life becasue its so much easier as they cant take sides and say oh but ur mum said this ... etc.
im not saying its guna take 3 years for you as everyone is different but things wont change over night! some people make think im stupid for giving advise to see a srink but i know it worked for me and i owe my life to that women!
and once you've started clearing your head things will slowly fall into place and you will be a different person, im a better person now i used to be the quiet girl in the corner now you cant get me to shut up! :D
i really hope things work out for you! x
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A
female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (30 September 2007):
 Wow,I feel allmost like I wrote your question.If you wanna contact someone with similar problems pm me...but I'm not sure would it make you feel any better.I can't know if you'll get worse dragging that problems through time (you haven't even wrote when did it all started) but I'm sure that sitting in front of the computer and seeking for someone you can't see to help you is not a solution-I did it over 10 times on different forums so far and now I know it's pointless.Try going to someone expert (I actually have a plan to do it on monday) cause he's the only one who can help you in appropriate way.xxx
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A
female
reader, Ms.Sweet dreams  +, writes (29 September 2007):
 i feel that same way sometimes but all i can do is just being strong and go on with my life. i keep my self busy talking the people sorround me, watching funny or horror film to forget whats inside my feeling. before i always cry at night and also when i wake up but then i realized that there is nothing to cry. i dont want myself hug by my emotional feeling. if there is a problem i just face it without fear. since i was stop crying i use to practice it. i prayed and no worries at all coz i believe that God is always there for u for good and never leave me alone. he just give me strenght to fight the test of life. hope i can help u with that.
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