A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so there is a teacher at my school, who teaches another grade. He's 27 and I really like him. He speaks to me like I'm an adult and he's super sweet to everyone. After school sometimes; he runs a thing for little kids to play around. My friend keeps saying we should ask him if we can help, just to talk to him. And what I really love about him is that he loves little kids! I also love small children, and I KNOW I'm young, but I feel like I want to have children because I'm more like an adult than a fourteen year old anyway. Im falling for him!!! Advice? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012): Its in his job description to be nice to people and to talk to pupils in as much of an adult and professionally grown up manner as possible.
You are 14, he's 27 and he is a teacher at your school.
For 1. Its professionally and morally wrong to date a school girl from his school.
And 2. Its illegal for someone his age to have a relationship with someone of your age full stop! If he got found out, he could go to prison.
Do you honestly think he would risk losing his career and giving himself a bad reputation by dating a school girl?
He probably sees crushes a lot with girls your age and is used to it.
Leave it at that, nothing could ever become of it. At least not until you're an adult and no longer attend his school as a pupil, but by that time I'm sure the crush will have worn off.
Yep, that's the reality of it, like it or not.
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (22 August 2012):
OP, since you want to be treated as an adult I will not beat around the bush and I hope you can handle that like mature, responsible adults can.
First of all, please read this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/crushes-on-teachers.html
As for having children at your age: if you are as mature as you say you are, you know it's a stupid idea. You don't live independently and you haven't finished any form of education that can aid you in making a living in the first place. If you have a child now, you'll end up dumping that responsibility onto your parents, because you simply can't handle it yet. Plus you have to realize you are stuck with that child for the following 20 years of your life. You aren't even 20 yet so can you even fathom the amount of time and dedication it takes that you'd otherwise have to spend on activities you love?
Every teen says they're mature for their age. They stop saying it once they realize there is no such thing and it stops being cool being guessed older than they are.
No matter how mature you are, you only have 14 years of life experience on this earth. I'm 10 years older than you and looking back at myself at your age I laugh when I thought that back then I was 'mature'. This guy is almost twice your age. He is simply not going to be interested in you.
So if you are planning on behaving like an adult, don't bother your teacher with your feelings and stop thinking that having kids while still being a kid is a good idea.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (22 August 2012):
 I'm sure you understand that aged 14 you cannot have a relationship with a teacher because he would lose his job, go to prison and probably never be able to work again because he would have a criminal record.
I understand you like this man, after all he sounds like a nice person and he likes kids, just like you do. But this is just a crush, you cannot be in love with someone you have never spent any time with alone.
If you really were the adult you claim to be, then you would know the difference between love and crush and would not be saying things like 'I'm falling for him'. Love only comes when 2 people have spent a lot of time together, have an intimate relationship and know each other inside out, loving the good bits and the bad bits about each other. You dont know anything about this man, except he is a nice teacher who likes kids.
If he is super sweet to everyone then he is just a nice person and enjoys his job - you are a child in his eyes and he likes kids, hence why he is a teacher - because he likes working with kids! It does not mean he has any feelings for you, and he would be very shocked and disappointed if he ever found out that you think you love him.
So what can you do now? Absolutely nothing. This is just a crush and in time it will pass. If you want to show us how mature you are then you will realise that he could lose his job over this if you try and pursue him, so a mature person would not want to hurt someone so badly if they genuinely do like that person, therefore you will leave him alone and dont try to spend more time with him, because that is asking for trouble.
If you like him as much as you say you do, leave him alone and dont try and do anything silly. Nothing can happen between you and the teacher, so let it go, admire him from a distance and try to focus on boys your own age.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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