A
female
age
30-35,
*ca9130
writes:I have grown to love my boyfriend a lot and I feel tempted to say it to him, but various advice tells me not to say it first. I agree with this, but restraining my feelings from the truth makes me grow apart from him because I feel that he doesn't love me back, because we've been together for five months and he still hasn't said it. I know I shouldn't say it first, but how do I control my feelings if I can't say it? It makes me feel distanced from him and I don't want to force the three special words on him.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 August 2012):
 why shouldn't you say it first? if you feel it you should say it....
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 August 2012):
 5 months is pretty soon to say "I love you", though it's not unheard of. You have to understand that those three words mean different things to you than to him. To you, they're an expression of your emotions, and rightly so! To him, those words are a declaration of commitment, a bringing things to a "next level", so to speak. He may be feeling the same emotions you do, but to him, they cost him a similar commitment cost as "Will you marry me", and so he's taking his time. At 5 months, this is okay!
Just be patient and don't distance yourself from him! Now, if this were a year out, it would be pretty obvious or not whether you love someone. Just enjoy your relationship with him, and if he feels as you do, unless he's a serious commitment-phobe, you'll hear those words!
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