A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mother inlaw has hated me for elven years now. My husband went 6 years without speaking to her. Because of the disrespect to has to his wife. She is not a good grandmother to our son because of the hate she has towards me. She wants us to meet her for dinner after 6 years without seeing her I think she should come to our home to see us. She has never been to our new house. She will have to respect me as well as our house. I don't think it will happen because of the childish person she is. She has made it clear she only wants to see her son and our son. Am I wrong for standing my ground stating She wants to see our baby son she will have to see me as well. Will have to meet us on our time too. Any advice?
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male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (20 April 2011):
 Time to sit hubby down and explain to him how this makes you feel. He really needs to stand his ground and explain to mom she needs to respect his decisions. She doesn't have to like you but she can respect you and be civil.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): I went 14 years like this being totally ignored by my mother in law. We just hated each other. If you can tolerate it let your husband take your son to a neutral place like a restaurant then they can leave when they like. If she comes to your own home it will be difficult to ask her to leave and for you to get rid of her. In a public place it is difficult for her to be loud or rude which you might get in your own home.
My MIL died recently and after the funeral I went on my own and opened a Magnum of champagne next to the grave to joyfully toast her demise.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 I know this is really difficult for you and she sounds like a hard woman to deal with but at the end of the day she is your husbands mother, she gave birth to him and brought him in to the world and she has every right to see him if he wants to see her. Off course you are going to feel out of place but you need to let your husband make up his own mind here and also dont make him feel bad or guilty if he decides to see her without you. You need to show him that you will back up his decision no matter what it is and stand by him. He needs your support so I think you need to put your own feelings a side and support your husband.
As for your son well again I guess if you know for a fact that she is not going to harm or upset your son and your husband decides to go then let them go. Yes it will be hard for you being left behind but it is only one meal am sure you will be ok and let your husband try and make things ok with him and his mother. Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 April 2011):
 personally I think you should all meet on neuteral territory.
a resturant. Your family and her. she has to deal with the entire family and if she is rude and disrespectful to you then you and your husband and child can get up and leave. (and pay the bill it's classy)
she will learn that in order to have a relationship with her son and grandson that she has to "toleate" you.
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