A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ever since my ex broke up with me over 2 years ago, I have been looking for ways to get him back. AT FIRST I made the mistake of chasing him and pushing him farther away. Then when I backed off, he began to initiate contact by calling and texting me. The calls and texts are few and far between, about every 2 months or so. I recently read online that just the fact that he contacts me could mean that he still wants me to be available to him in some way, even if it's just a subconsious sense of security. His reasons for contacting me are always bordering on ridiculous: because there's something good on TV or because he thinks he saw my dog running on the loose in my neighborhood. In short, they sound like excuses just to say hi. I am always very nice to him and hearing from him makes me very happy but I never, ever show him I want him. I shouldn't right? Although I want him so very badly, if him I show him, (according to everything I've read) that will make him disappear completely. Another piece of advice I read says to not be friends with your ex if you want them back. It says that being friends will make him disinterested romantically. But if I'm not his friend how the heck can I even talk to him to get near him to get back together?! This is so confusing, I need real answers. Time is running out. He has many friends and is close to a lot of people and he's popular. If he thinks I've moved on, wouldn't that close the chapter for good? Or would it make him want me like books say? And if he thinks I want him he will run away, but he needs to know I am somewhat interested right? I simply must figure out which decision to make. Ignore him or (casually) pursue him. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE: I ran into my ex at a bar! And he ignored me. Case closed. Thanks for the answers anyway.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right. This has become a complete waste of time. I thought this guy was a special person and that he and I were right for eachother, but to him it's just a game. I don't want to be his friend either. I want to forget about him. Not sure how I can forget about him, honestly, but I guess he leaves me no choice. I have been advised to change my phone number so he doesn't text me again just to "say hi". Thinking of him at all makes me feel worthless and miserable. I want to just make him as unimportant to me as I am to him.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 February 2010):
I'm going to be honest. I don't think he fancies you,and I think you might end up hurt. That said, I can see that you still really like him and unless you know for sure from him where you stand, you won't get over him. You have a choice. You can either go for broke and ask him how he feels, knowing that the chances are he will turn you down. Or you can cut him now. Given that you are still in love, I think your best bet is to ask him how he feels. Even if he does turn you down, you will know for sure where you stand.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (18 February 2010):
Oh boy...
You need to truly stop thinking about him and move on. He broke up with you, if he wanted you back, he would have you back.
Don't text, or call, or respond to him. Find a new man to focus on. Not because you think it will make him want you, but because it's the healthiest for you..
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