A
female
age
30-35,
* female
writes:I need help. I'm only 18 years old, but I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years. I'm not very interested in sex anymore, and I'm afraid he's going to end us over it. He complains that we never do anything, and I feel bad. Even when we do have sex, it hurts me, or I just don't feel anything, and he gets mad at me. I offer to please him in other ways but he doesn't want it, just sex.My boyfriend has let himself go a little bit. He doesn't really groom all that well, and he doesn't work out or anything. Where as I work out regularly, and have what others consider to be a very stunning and sexy body. It's not that I'm uncomfortable in my skin.Please help?I don't know what to do. I really try my hardest. I'm considering the fact that I am only 18, but everyone else seems to have a very large libido, and I feel like I don't have one at all. I don't want my four year relationship to end. I've worked so hard and I don't want it thrown away because of sex.
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female
reader, A female +, writes (18 February 2010):
A female is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys! You're absolutely right. Sometimes I feel like that's all he cares about. So I showed him my post and we talked for hours last night. We agreed that we're going to try new things, and just be really open about everything. I realized that i'm not very open and honest about the things that I feel.
I'm going to try to be open minded about sex. I realize that I am young and have my whole life ahead of me. However, I feel it's important to live "in the now" so I am going to try not to feel guilty about my pleasures. That's been my biggest problem of all.
A
male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (18 February 2010):
Well if that's all he cares about then you should move on. You're very young and have a lifetime to have sex so there's no obligation. You should talk to him and tell him about your feelings about sex and where you want the relationship to go. You're trying to find other ways to please him because you love him but if he can't understand your feelings and your decision then he's not the one for you. If he dumps you then you'll know he cared more about sex than you and trust me you're better off. He would be a fool to let you go because you really sound like a great catch. But right now he's being selfish and only cares about his needs than listening to you and satisfying your needs which is just as important. Be strong and good luck to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): ugh... tell him straight up.he isn't satisfying you the way you need to be satisfied... he needs to find ways to entice YOU.men are so caught up on only getting their pleasure that they forget that they have a woman they should satisfy.heck... if you're too scared to actually tell him that, just show him this comment lol! you love him, and if he loves you back he'll do anything for you as long as you're happy. you can please him in other ways, too. don't even offer it to him because he sounds like a stereotypical jackass... (personal opinion) you need to find ways in sex that provide both of you with pleasure though, because sadly the physical part of every relationship is very important. four-play is great, tell him if he's hurting you and that you want him to go slower. if he doesn't, don't put out.
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