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I'm confused, some advice please!

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 November 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2012)
A female Nigeria age 26-29, *yinlola writes:

I'm still a virgin,but sometimes last month,i and my boyfriend had anal sex and he said he didnt come and i didnt see any sign of blood that my hymen is broken but i've been expectin my period for almost a week now,do you think i'm still a virgin or do you think i'm pregnant???

View related questions: anal sex, hymen, period, still a virgin

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 November 2012):

Honeypie agony auntTo put it bluntly.

There is no hymen in your ass. So if you had ANAL sex - there would be no blood from no hymen.

However if you two did ANAL without protection (which is STUPID) and he ejaculated in your backside - sperm could in ALL possibility run down and enter your vagina. It is possible but NOT very likely.

Stress and worries can delay a period.

Since being a virgin mean NO penis in vagina you are TECHNICALLY still a virgin, but in my book - having sex whether it is oral or anal.. means you are no longer "innocent" when it comes to sex.

You shouldn't be having sex when you obviously know so little about reproduction.

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A female reader, fishdish United States +, writes (9 November 2012):

fishdish agony auntWhen you get your period and/or take a pregnancy test and it comes back negative, you should really consider what kind of man you are dating: someone who controls your birth choices, without having a back and forth conversation and without consideration of your body. This is really serious.

First and foremost, recognize that he can't make a decision for you: it is your body and you have to make decisions for yourself and the potential child to determine what kind of life he or she would have when you are teenagers likely without any income. you would be the mother to this child and the responsibility for taking care of it would be more on you, just anatomically (with you having to breast feed) and socially (he would probably get a job).

I'm not trying to add to your stress, and I do agree with the posters here about how you're likely not pregnant-BUT-my concern is that he just tells you what to do with the potential child without consideration of your feelings, and you just accept what he says. If I were with someone who I realized didn't respect my right to choose how to handle my pregnancy, and reacted the way you said your bf did, I would discontinue dating him.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 November 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntTECHNICALLY you are a virgin since we normally define virginity as a person who has not had genital to genital contact. (i.e. a penis in your vagina)

Do you know how babies are made? IF not, you need to look that up first and foremost.

IF you are old enough to be sexually active (and anal sex is sexually active), then you are old enough to be responsible enough to know how babies are made and how to prevent it.

bleeding from anal sex is usually going to be because of a tear.... or a hemorrhoid.

do you know what a hymen is?

do you know where it's located?

can you explain to me how you could possibly tear a hymen during anal intercourse?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (9 November 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt How could you be pregnant if so far you only had ANAL sex !? How could you have broken your hymen by having ANAL sex! ?

This question is so absurd, that there are only two possibilities : 1 ) you are clowning and having a bit of fun at our expenses ) you really know absolutely nothing about sex and reproduction, so now RUN immediately to your doctor, or school nurse, or some other responsible adult and make them explain you well how the female body works and how one gets pregnant etc... and, until you 've understood everything and it's all clear, do NOT have any form of sexual contacts Ok ? Ignorance can be very dangerous. Oh, and if you decide to have intercourse- use at least condoms !

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A female reader, Oyinlola Nigeria +, writes (9 November 2012):

Oyinlola is verified as being by the original poster of the question

No,i dont ride horse,dont do athletic or dance........but i discussed this with my boyfriend and he said if i'm pregnant i'm gonna have the baby but i not ready to become a mother but he said he's not gonna let me have an abortion.....i'm confused,i dont know what to do??

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A male reader, Jackjack66 United States +, writes (8 November 2012):

Well since it was anal there is no chance of you being pregnant. But you might want to ask yourself what do YOU get from anal? It is more pleasureful for the guy. You should have him finger you or eat you out and explore in giving him oral but technically anal sex is sex so you are not a virgin.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012):

sometimes your hymen can brake doing other things such as athletics... do you dance? or ride horses? or even run cross country? It may have already broken. Sometimes your period can be late... give it another week, and if it doesn't come, then take another pregnancy test.If your boyfriend ejaculated before the sex,and never urinated, then his pre-cum would still have sperm, and all it takes is for it to be around the vaginal area for it to swim and find an egg...

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