A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear ppl,Lately I've been thinking about my sexual orientation, I used to watch porn and I stopped because I hated it and I felt disgusted every time I do it. I watched lesbian porn and It turned me on but I HATED it afterwards. Straight pornography turns me on too and I prefer it to any kind of gay porn. I stopped watching lesbian porn and then I decided to stop watching porn completely.I once was watching lesbian pornography (it was like a year-ago)and while feeling very sexual I had a thought like oh well why don't you go and discover "the fun" yourself online with a lesbian I have on my MSN (I've never really talked to her) but then I was like WTF??? I would never do such thing. But ever since that time I've never really had a similar thought. I know that when we are feeling sexual everything comes to mind but I'm so worried. I need reassurance.I'm always afraid of being homosexual while I'm not. I'v never been attracted to girls . I love men and I had a boyfriend and right now I have a big crush on a guy. I never feel anything toward girls. Being with a guy is all what I ask for. I feel so shy around guys and I always do my best to attract them.The problem is that I fear homosexuality. I went to see my psychologist and she told me I was straight and that I shouldn't worry about this stuff at this age. She told me I have HOCD too. HOCD (homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder)is like any other OCD .. I'm sure many of you had never really heard about it before but such OCD really exists.This fear made me look back at my past to sort out the gay moment I had . Sometimes, I just let it slide because i know deep down what i truly am. U cannot change your sexuality on a dime.I can't live without guys because I really love them.Does that mean I'm homosexual? Does watching lesbian porn means I'm lesbian? or also straight people can watch it? I need serious answers. Please don't tell me it's ok to be gay because I HATE THAT.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): I had the same problem as you.
I watched gay porn once as if to 'check' whether i got aroused by it.and voila! it happened.From that time onwards i began questioning my own sexuality and came to realise that i was not gay.I was not aroused by other men. i felt disgusted to have watched gay porn.I do not get aroused by it now.
recent studies have shown that orgasm is the quickest way to change our sexual brain map.we are always looking for new things to arouse ourselves.as is the case with many internet porn users some get addicted to watching homosexual porn when they get bored by straight porn.I believe the same thing has happened to you.
so my advise to you is that you should stop watching lesbian porn and i am sure you are straight.
just control your sex drive for a few days.Stop watching porn for that period and ghe resume watching staight porn.I am sure it will help change your sexual brain map to the point where you are not aroused by homosexual porn.
goodluck and remember -
curiosity killed the cat.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009): I am not sure if its gonna make you feel better or not..... but I am the same way. I mean I dont hate homosexuals because i really dont, i dont think there is anything wrong with liking somebody of your same sex, but I am just not into it. I am a female, 27 years old and married. I've always liked watiching lesbian porn, it is so different than watching the same old boring porn. I love my husband, and have great sex dont get me wrong... but when I am alone I like watching it and I dont feel I am a lesbian because of that... is just a way of turning me on and that is it... I have never felt weird or attracted to any girls that are around me, and I believe you havent either so... dont worry I really dont think you are a lesbian .... enjoy!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009): does being gay makes you different from other human beings on earth?does being gay shorten your life span?does being gay ruin a person's life?does being gay matter?people of this century have already stopped labelling themselves because it's becoming so normal (it isn't abnormal anyway), people are cool with it. a straight person can fantasize about having sex with a same sex person but psychologically speaking, he/she is still a heterosexual. having sex with a same sex person doesn't only limit to homosexuals, it is about fulfilling your sexual needs/desires. however if it is not for sexual purpose, and you know deep down inside you want to be with a girl (i.e making love to a woman.. being in a monogamous relationship with a woman), you could be gay/bisexual. but who cares if you are, or she is, or he is? love is love. love WHOEVER you want. life is short, you don't have time to worry so much.
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A
male
reader, Perspicacious  +, writes (29 August 2009):
Everyone has sexual fantasies, and they don't mean anything. Indeed, many times they would never want to act out their fantasies for real and if they did they would find the experience quite horrifying.For example, some women fantasise about being paid for sex. Does that mean they want to be prostitutes? No! Some women fantasise about being "forced" to have sex somehow, but does that mean they want to be raped? No!In each of those examples, they might well also be attracted to pornography and erotic fiction depicting their fantasy but that is nothing more than an extension of the fantasy.In the same way, some straight people enjoy thinking, watching and fantasising about homosexual encounters. It doesn't make them gay though.
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A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind +, writes (29 August 2009):
why do you fear homosexuality?You say you dont want to hear being gay is ok, but you clearly have a stigma... so why?It seems like your a victim of environment. Something surrounding you be it the neighborhood, the campus, or your family is not supportive of "alternative" relationships. So be it.If your sexually aroused by the same sex.. whats the problem? I am not sure whats causing you anxiety. You are attracted to guys, you have a boyfriend . You just are aroused by beautiful naked women..There is nothing to feel ashamed of, youve never been with a woman, you dont want to. Beauty doesnt understand gender, you have a respect for both sides of the spectrum..Frankly I respect that, you have no bounds.just relax. If you want to, watch lesbian porn, there is no harm to it, your not doing anything wrong.Try not to make a stigma from it. Like lennon said. Let it be-iydm
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A
female
reader, emo barbie +, writes (29 August 2009):
 It's human nature to want to know everything, to be curious, it's also human nature to think on things and dwell on them, just as it is to also be scared by the things we're not sure of. But most of all, it's human nature to seek out pleasure when need be. I can't help you with the whole lesbain porn thing, cause...I've never done it myself. But I have plenty of gay friends, and infact have once fallen for a girl...but that's it, one girl. I've tried dating another one but I totally disagreed with it and decided I'd much rather stay with the guys. There are plenty of people who are turned on by different things, and there are plenty or things that even if their turned on by it will never do. For example alot of guys may be turned on by gay porn, but would infact never do it themselves. I know a guy in the same predicument as you, but he's happily engaged to a girl now, and has never once thought of dating a guy. There's no reason to be scared of it or fear that you'll become homosexual or something. It's just your preference for something, I read things that involve girls in love with girls I do, but nothing like sex or anything, but as I said before just because I read such things I still have no intention of actually going out and dating or even sleeping with a female.
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