A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I have been feeling incredibly confused and feel that I need some advice before I can let this go..Im 29 and the guy in question is 26.. we dated for only 3 weeks. He is quite an introvert and definitely not the player type. The dates went great, we got on well and there was lots of laughter and affection. After 3 weeks I felt ready to sleep with him and when he suggested staying at my place one night I happily agreed. We were about to start "doing it" and he stopped and told me that he has a problem with premature ejaculation. I tried my best to be nice and make him feel comfortable about it. He ended up coming before he could penetrate. He didn't say much about it and we both ended up falling asleep because it was very late. I cuddled him throughout the night but I noticed that he was suddenly very cold and unaffectionate and the same the next morning. That day I sent him a text saying I had a good night and said that we would have to try that again *wink* and smily face. But this was his reply: I need to have fun and I get bored of girls easily so I need to change them all the time. I thought it would be different with you but its not. This seems bizarre to me because he is painfully shy and his friends have commented on his lack of experience with women.I then pressed him further for answers and then he said that "I realized we don't have much in common". Which seems bizarre also because we are both got on very well. So I am wondering which is the most likely truthful reason he ended it? Thank you!
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ejaculation, player, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): Thank you to everyone who took the time to give me advice xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2012): Who knows what his problem is. But he is rude that`s for sure. He has given you the cold shoulder, told you he is bored with you and has nothing in common with you. How rude is that? And after you were so understanding too.
His apparent shyness didnt stop him dating you, getting into bed after a few weeks or being very rude. So maybe it is not normal shyness but something more complex.
It might be tempting to try and find out what his problems are but i would resist the urge to pry open that potential can of worms and move on swiftly!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 December 2012):
 I agree with learnNlive.
He is embarrassed about the experience.
He then does he little bluster spiel - I get bored blah blah blah. That way he can play it off like he is a player, but honestly a player HAS sex with all the girls he "charms".
He is fine for dating but when it comes to sex, he can't do it. So instead of giving it a few more tried with a girl, he push them away.
Don't feel bad, this is 100% HIM.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 December 2012):
 You ask: "...which is the most likely truthful reason he ended it? ".... as if one of the two suggestions that you list applies. NEITHER DOES!!!!!
The "truthful" reason is that - contrary to what you wrote earlier - HE REALLY IS A PLAYER!!!!!
That's all you need to know to form a conclusion to this ill-fated encounter....
Good luck in the future......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2012): He is stupid and complicated and unconfident person and has a week personality. Because he is shy he try to hide what was happened that night by this behaviour. The problem is with him not with you. You were so understandable and gentle with him. Let him go. You will be tired and hurt with him. Look for somone confident.
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A
male
reader, learnNlive +, writes (9 December 2012):
He is embarrassed about the experience.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2012): He is deeply insecure maybe of his premature problem and thus being intimate brings out his shame. When people feel ashamed of tthemselves its the most horrible feeling they have to go into hiding at all costs. So he pushes you away. I think you should just play it cool, give him some time don't try to contact him for say a few weeks then approach him all casual like nothing happened and do not bring up his weird behavior.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (9 December 2012):
 He wasn't shy about telling you about the premature ejaculation and you were understanding about it so I doubt it's because he has got a sudden attack of shyness. Maybe there is some or orher reaction that he wants from women over his 'problem' and you didn't give it because you reacted as best you could under the circumstances...
Maybe he's just an oddball!!
Saying he gets easily bored might suggest he is saying it for attention to see how you will react but topping it off with a @we don't have much in common' seems like a definite boot out the door to be honest!!
If he does get bored easily, then maybe he has more problems than just the obvious one?
It's so dissapointing when you think you are getting on well with a new date and they suddenly do a U turm, some people are just very fickle or too sensitive or just plain weird and they can have a knack of covering up their true nature in the early days of dating. Eventually they can't hide any longer and their true self is revealed.
You used the word bizarre and you are correct, it is bizarre behaviour but maybe it's a sign that he isn't the right one for you.
Hugs and don't let it get to you...plenty more fish in the sea xx
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