A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I need your advice on two things: WHY is this boy being so weird and HOW do I get over him.I've known this guy for over a year now, but recently we were involved in something together so I got to see him a few times a week. He didn't have a car so I offered to drive him and he accepted. He basically would call me pretty or cute and be touchy feely and flirty, so I thought he liked me.Well, I haven't been seeing as much of him but I do call or text him to hang out. And we did a couple times. We even cuddled together and it was very nice. The thing is...I am ALWAYS the one to call or text him. And he only seems to go to things with me if I pay for them. I'm basically the one pursuing him. I feel like the guy in this "relationship" and I hate that. I want someone who loves me as much as I love them.My question is...WHY the mixed signals and HOW do I stop liking him? It hurts that I'm humiliating myself by pursuing him when he seems to want nothing to do with me anymore. But if he didn't like me then why the cuddling and talking to me in my car for an hour and going on dates with me? Nothing has happened with him except for the cuddling.Granted, I never actually TOLD him I like him but it's obvious. I told him once before that if a guy liked me he'd have to ask me out. He's being so stupid, though, and every day that goes by that he doesn't text or call me I hate him...until I talk to him again then I love him. The extreme up and down moods are killing me and I don't know how to make it stop. I value his friendship, though, so even if he doesn't like me I want to be friends with him. Though I think it would hurt to be around him. I don't know what to do. I've never liked anyone this much and I fear I'm being annoying by texting him so much. I just love talking to him. What do I do?!
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female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (26 August 2009):
 Hi, How are you geting on with this? I think you should back right off, as hard as It may be, but do not call or text him , and see what he does. This may wake him up a bit, and you will also find out if he likes you genuinly or not. Whne you feel like texting him, text a freind, or call a freind. The only way to find out the truth is to disspear. it;s not fair that you are paying for stuff all the time either. he either likes you or he doens;t. If he is onoy using you - just drop him. it his loss. let me know how you get on NatMarie.x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): listen to 'sugar sugar', she knows what she is talking about! If the guy wants you he will make sure you kno about it by way of 'The Chase'! Men are like lion in a Jungle when it comes to 'hunting' the one they want, believe me darling, if he wants you you wouldnt be on here asking this question....
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (26 August 2009):
 I don't see mixed signals here. I see a guy who likes you a little bit and probably loves the attention and the things you offer him.If a guy likes you, he will contact you. He will call and sms and arrange to see you. It's that simple. Sure, he may think you're cute and pretty, but if he wanted anything real this wouldn't be so one sided.If you want someone who loves you as much as you love them, move on because this guy is not the one. At least not now.And in the future I would hold back on the offers to drive him around and pay for everything, sure it's nice to have equality in that sense but you don't want to be a doormat either.
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