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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid, My 14 year old sister is beginning to worry our family. I'm 20 and have been through the same high school she is now attending, and the way she dresses can and will get her in trouble (school-wise and peer-wise), from what I've seen in my years there. She's the type of girl that will only learn from her mistakes, she blindly jumps into situations. She's becoming a very pretty girl, with a nice body and she's an early bloomer. She's already kissed boys and her friends have done more with THEIR boyfriends.. I'm just worried about her. She wears the tightest clothing possible, pushes her cleavage all the way up (she has a big cup)...when we tell her to dress a little more modestly for HS, she says "whatever." We've already had a problem with her ballet school calling her pretty much a disgrace because of the provocative pics she posts on facebook, giving them a bad name. My parents, of course, protected her, and she got off really easy. If we wait for her to learn from her mistakes, I'm afraid (god forbid) something bad will happen to her. She puts all of this revealing clothing on (which I never wore btw, she learns it all from her friends) and then comes to me saying how this guy and this guy hit on her or this guy slapped her butt...My sister and I aren't VERY close so it's hard to talk to her cause she doesn't really listen to me. With the clothing and heavy eye make up (like cleopatra) she wears, she looks 20, not 14. People have mistaken me for the youngest and her for the oldest. SO what can I do, as a caring sister? Thank you :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay update : sister came home with a hickey on her neck and I think my parents finally opened their eyes...thank you for all your help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2012): All it would take for me to change her ways if she was my daughter, is to think how I would feel and react if something serious happened like she got kidnapped, raped and left for dead somewhere in a ditch or gutter.
It doesn't bare thinking about.
Everyday parents lose their daughters because a pervert has snatched them from the roadside. They're quick enough to blame the perverts, and even though these sorts of people ARE wrong for doing what they do, perverts are going to be perverts and will carry on regardless if teenagers are basically advertising themselves in the way your sister is. Its also up to parents to prevent such things happening by not allowing their daughters to dress in such a way that will attract creeps and perverts to them!
This is the thing you should be making your parents realize. In fact, they should be realizing that for themselves.
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (3 September 2012):
Honestly, I don't think there's much you can do.
Trying to guide her subtly won't help. Your sister has shown herself to be someone who needs a message to hit like a brick for her notice it and learn from it.
Don't protect her, she'll just get worse. Let her ballet school kick her out; she needs to learn that actions have consequences.
When dealing with her, be unrelentless:
- When she complains about guys giving her attention in a rude way, ask her why she expects them to behave like gentlemen when she dresses like a whore.
- Ask her if she views herself as just a piece of meat.
If she says "no" ask her why the hell she chooses to look like that's all there is to her. You know there's more to her but all guys will see is a cheap slut looking to get laid. At one point someone may come up to her who won't take no for an answer.
- Ask her why she dresses up like that and what her goal is.
Someone once said a guy's worst fear concerning women is being laughed at, a girl's worst fear concerning men is getting raped. Unfortunately that's still the truth.
If she gets angry at you, don't budge. Tell her you'd rather get through to her and have her hate you for a while than having her end up in a bad situation.
And if she still doesn't listen (which I'm afraid of), just tell her that if she gets into trouble to please come to you because you have her back regardless of your thoughts on her. Because that's what sisters do. And then let it go and cross your fingers her life lessons won't come at too big a price.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe goes out to buy tight stuff with her friends... I let her borrow stuff from my closet but she constantly remarks about how "baggy" everything is (casual clothing that I wear). One time we were walking and this car with like 4 guys pulls up, hitting on her in the nastiest way, I chased them away and told them she's 14 and they looked so shocked that they sped away lol Don't get me wrong, she's not a complete moron, she's actually very smart BUT she can't control the bad attention she gets, even if she isn't trying to provoke it. That's the other problem, my parents are like blind and deaf to all this... they look around them and say, "every girl dresses like that, she's just trying to fit in" even though that's not a good thing.Her friends have tried to tell her to downplay it as well but she just tells them they're jealous and stops talking to them. lol thanks for the answers so far :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): Well the age difference and the communication gap between you two is keeping you apart. Second you need to get more close to her, talk on other matters, as she mixes up with you and share her life, school etc. with you. Then try to make her learn my mistakes of others. there might be lot of people who were on the worst path at their child hood and thereafter ruined there lives. So these ppl will have higher influence in changing your little sisters attitude abt his life.
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A
female
reader, helza8a +, writes (2 September 2012):
 clothes dont make the man/woman. the problem isnt her clothes its the way she acts. As woman we should be able to wear what ever we what without feeling judged. my sister wears shorts that looks more like underwear but that doesnt mean she a hohoho. I can only say that with my sister i try to give her advice on how she acts not what she wears. Just try to encourge her to have self respect, if you have the repect of those around you, it wont matter what you wear.As big sisters we try to be good examples for them, give good advice, but in the end they have to live their own lives.Talk to her.Thats all we can do
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): If your parents are willing to turn a blind to it and allow her to do as she pleases, then I highly doubt there's any way you can talk sense into her I'm afraid.
Your parents are meant to be her guidance, and if they're displaying an irresponsible attitude towards her, then she's going to act irresponsibly.
Unfortunately, sometimes in life it takes a drastic thing to happen to a person before it finally realizes in their head, what risk they're posing to themselves.
I think you should have a word with your parents and point out your concerns to them. Your sister may not even listen to them since she's used to doing as she pleases and getting away with it, but its worth a shot since they are suppose to be the responsible adults here, not you.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (2 September 2012):
As long as no one is close to her, she will not listen to anyone since her friends are the one she will feel the closest to. At this rate she will just think you are jealous of her. How does she get the clothing? I assume she buys them with the money her parents give her. If her parents have not much of a problem with it, I'm afraid that there isn't much you can do. If it were my sister I would yell at her and teach her a lesson, take all of those clothes and throw them away. But I guess its not that easy for you. The most you can do is talk to your parents about it. And you can also work on trying to be close to your sister.
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