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female
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*ighthousekeeper
writes: I am an ex-teacher. When I was 32 I fell in love with one of my 18 year old sixth form students. I was so aware of the power relationship issue, but sought advice from colleagues/friends as to what to do - they said if I was truly in love with her (which I was) I should go for it. I tried really hard not to fall into the trap, but I did. We were together for nearly two years. I was ultra aware of the power relationship as I have said, and took every possible precaution to avoid that happening. As is probably to be expected it all went horribly wrong through no fault of mine and I have lost my career, which I loved, the love of my life, and I am finding it hard to cope with the damnation that I have received. Please help. I feel like ending it all.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): I know telling you not to end it all would be incredibly unhelpful, and clichic, but people mean it.
What I never really understood about suicide is why people feel oblieged to make you endure a life you might not want anymore. Technically, you are forced into the Earth, slaved away to money and pain and then you die. So whats the point?
I fell in love with my teacher and looking back on it now, fortunately I never had that oppurtunity. You were together for 2 years, and those 2 years probably made you very, very happy. Life may be full of pain, but its full of happiness too. I'm not particularly religious myself but, sometimes people say that things happen for a reason. Maybe this happened for a reason.
Trust me, after going through dark times myself, I can safely say that things do get better. As for advice, I suggest that you just keep fighting through. Try and find something to do with what you have, and turn it into a career that you love. A teacher of mine was telling me a story that she never wanted to be a teacher, but just stumbled onto it. You too could stumble upon something you really love, even if your heart will always be set on teaching.
Keep us posted,,
A
female
reader, Artist_09  +, writes (26 January 2009):
Whatever happened? you still with her or you have a job now?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): I am a 16 year old who happened to have an oppurtunity with my teacher that turned out terribly.I would say to you life isnt over.I know it's hard to move on but eventually you will.The teacher i was invovled with is heading in the same direction as you and all i can say is that i did love him and i still do but its not about our relationship anymore its about my credability in school.I lost everything and he is still flirting around with students he didnt learn but hopefully this doesnt happen to anyone else because this is a stressful situation.Hold on tight its a bumpy ride but get through it.Life has many opportunties.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (24 January 2006):
 Move on don't ever chose to end it because of some of the narrow mindedness of some people. She was na adult and so were you. Yes it shouldn't really have happened but it did and you both made that decision. She was not a child, it was not rape or coercion it was a consenting relationship.
Take your teaching qualification, go back to college and do something else with it. Look to the future and find another person to love.
There is a big world out there, and you have only just begun to explore it. Ignore the hypocrits and doom-mongers and get back out there with your head held high. It takes two to be in an adult relationship and thats what you both were.
Good Luck xx
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A
male
reader, malaysianfeet +, writes (24 January 2006):
I am wondering whether you have a hormonal issue on your hands. I am no doctor. But it sure would make sense to rule out this issue. In my experience, I have seen that our physiology has a decided effect on the balance of reason and emotion. For us who never pursued medical studies at a tertiary level, there is a real need to understand that the issue of hormonal (in)balance is to be at least viewed from a qualified physician.Prem.
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A
female
reader, QOTU +, writes (12 January 2006):
 Whatever you do, DO NOT "end it all"! That wouldn't even be on the list of things you could do - nope, not even at the end!You need to move on. Push past it, even though you didn't mean for it to happen in the first place. Nobody can help what happens, and we just have to deal with it as best we can.I'd say look for a new career - what subject(s) did you teach? Is it possible to go onto a different line of work with that experience? Push on, and keep going! Even though the world looks dark now, there's ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel!:-D Good luck! 3
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