A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was dating this guy for a few months.. he told me he loved me and everything was going great.. one day I noticed he was acting a little funny only to find out he met someone else and completely left me for her.. he claimed to be so in love with her but still called meall the time while they were together and constantly cheated on her with me.. they were together for about 6 months until one night they got into a huge fight and she got him arrested because she said he hit her.. of course he came crying to me and for the past 8 months since then we've been together again.. he told me that a few weeks ago she texted him saying how he broke her heart and she hates him everyday for it.. he told me he didn't answer and wasn't going to.. he's been a little shady with me since then and I found out from his friends that he is talking to her again.. he lied to my face for two weeks and swore he wasn't.. then he finally admitted it to me the other day.. he said he "was" talking to her but not anymore because they are better off without each other right now.. but he also told me to go on my way and leave him alone and we haven't spoke since (this was 4 days ago) . I don't understand what his problem is or what this girl has that I don't or why he loves her more than me and went back to her after she got him arrested and been dragging him back and forth to court. I've done everything for him. I'm so heart broken. please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): I understand the pain you are in, you are grieving right now and that is always hard. I have to agree with Aunty BimBim, you are not missing out. It may take time to see the bullet you dodged, but if you are brave enough to see this break up through, these words will ring true.I think you need to ask why it is you are so in love with a man who cheated and seems emotionally unstable. Ultimately, this is an issue with your sense of worth and the kind of relationship you feel worthy of. As for what she has that doesn't that is impossible to answer. Ever see a shirt you love at the mall, only to find your friend things it is ugly. It's not an objective thing, there is no real rhyme or reason.I still think that you need to take a deeper look into your own issues and not worry about these two loser.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 August 2014):
 Sometimes people get hooked into bad relationships and find it difficult to get themselves free of them, very much like this guy with his ex, and also like you, with him.
Maybe the answer is that he doesn't love either of you, some would see that as a good thing.
Why are you so hooked into this guy, he is a liar, and a cheat, he has no respect for the women he sleeps with ... take a few days out to decide why you are happy to settle for such a poor choice of man .... and also see if you can work out why you are so attracted, because once you have done that you will know what sort of characteristics to avoid in men in the future. You will also be able to determine what behaviours of yours need to be changed to make sure you don't fall for the same type again.
You have had a lucky escape, a very lucky escape!
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