A
female
age
41-50,
*abyblueeyes
writes:I am a divorced mum of 2 and last year i met a guy who i totally fell in love with. The only thing is, he only wants to see me for sex.He said he enjoys my company but doesnt want a relationship. I know this is wrong but i cant brake the habit. I met another guy around 7 months ago and he is great he loves me to bits and would do anything for me. The ralationship was going well, but recently I cant stop thinking about guy number one and have since been round to his for sex a few times. I feel really guilty and used and know I should give my current boyfriend a chance, but have told him i need a break. I dont know how I feel about him anymore. How do I get the other guy out of my head???? I tried deleting his number and his contact from my computer but i put it back on after a few days. I want to move on with my life but this is destroying me. Please help.
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a break, divorce, fell in love, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, babyblueeyes +, writes (9 January 2008):
babyblueeyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSince my previous problems, things have gone from bad to worse!!!! I have totally ruined any friendship I had with my FB as my boyfriend found out we were texting each other and rang him to have words. Now my FB no longer speaks to me and that rejection really hurts. Now my boyfriend has major trust issues with me and I have since caught him chatting other women up on the internet. This of course is all my fault, and I have also major paranoia problems in regards to my boyfriends whereabouts all of the time. This is because I have betrayed him. I dont know what to do.
A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (29 August 2007):
 Good for you babyblue,
Sounds like you are taking a postitve turn here. Best wishes to both of you (the nice guy I mean) :)
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A
female
reader, babyblueeyes +, writes (29 August 2007):
babyblueeyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for or your help guys!!! Although i already know you are all so right...it helps to hear someone else tell you it!!!!Its been only two days since i was in touch with Mr Wrong-for - me, but let me tell you, that is a record!!!!!I am on speaking terms with Mr Right and Im just gonna take it one day at a time.I feel so bad for what I have done and am gonna sort it.Thank you xxx
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (27 August 2007):
 As long as you're available for bad-for-you-guy, you're not letting yourself give good-for-you-guy a real chance.
Cold turkey is your only hope. You need to get him out of your system to know whether good-guy and you have a chance (which you don't if you keep cheating on him).
Delete bad-guy's number. Put his e-mail address on your Spam list. Block his number from your phone so that he can't call you if he gets itchy. Send him a final e-mail asking him not to contact you (yes e-mail -- you can't handle the phone call right now).
It's like me and chocolate. If I keep the bag sealed, I can keep my hands out of it. I can't have even one, or I plow through the whole bag of chocolates.
Don't allow yourself contact from this guy even once. You'll be happier in the long run, believe me.
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A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (27 August 2007):
I agree with hlskitten, but I also can see another side too. It doesnt mean its a healthy side either, and I have been guilty of it myself before. Sometimes you can be attracted to somebody and the sex is GREAT but its going nowhere. Your thinking becomes wacked out and you make bad decisions. As a guy I think Im a little more fallable on this than women. Maybe its not exactly the same, but I know that it has at least got to be similar. You know in your heart whats right and wrong but your reasoning becomes fuzzy because of the lust factor. This is the part I can uderstand.
What I dont agree or identify with in any way shape or form is being un-faithful. And thats exactly what you have done. This is where you are headed down a very slippery slope my dear. People who cheat once can do it again just as easily. You should ask your self some serious questions..
Would you trust and love somebody like yourself knowing what you have done?
Can you imagine the pain this would cause your "nice" guy if you told him everything?
Is any sex really worth that much?
Am I getting through to you?!?!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Hi
You have let the nice guy go but still want the user guy?
I'm not getting that.
If i was in your shoes i would do a lot of soul searching and try n figure out what it is i exactly want. The fwb guy wasnt giving you everything you want or you wouldnt of met the nice guy, and the nice guy cant be giving you all you want or you wouldnt be still hankering after the user one?
A lot of the time people go for 'bad guys/girls' because they have low self esteem and think they dont deserve better. Or they like the rollercoater ride that comes with it.
You know deep down you deserve to be happy. You are a great mum i bet, and have a lot to offer.
Dont sell yourself short hun.
Why not delete the user guys details and stay strong, dont re add them?
Balls in your court of course though.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
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