A
male
 ,
*ndisclosed
writes:I feel like a small fish in a big bowl.Category: Age DifferencesI’m a male university student and I’ve always looked older than my age. Due to advance placement in school I’ve often found myself in an older crowd. Recently, I’ve begun my studies in common law here in Canada. I should add that the program here differs from the UK in that a bachelor’s degree is required prior to admittance. It’s not uncommon for my peers to have already obtained masters or doctorate degrees. Suffice to say that the average age gap has jumped. I’m finding this to be a problem in relationships.Understandably, I attract and am attracted to older women. This week was not the first time that a date has voiced her concerns over our age difference. Nor is it the first time that I’ve heard most people claim that “age doesn’t matter” – that is until they find themselves in that situation. Anecdotes of success stories in this department to show that it is possible are of little use to me. Plainly said: I’m a guy in a pool of older independent success ravenous women and romance is far from blossoming. Am I looking in the wrong place?
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male
reader, Undisclosed +, writes (21 March 2007):
Undisclosed is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks AskEve. I do need to reexamine my mentality. I appreciate your advice.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (21 March 2007):
 First of all you don't say where you're actually looking! Older women can be found anywhere, pubs, clubs, libraries, museums, anywhere there's people! You may just have to be a little more choosy of the "type" of woman you go for and not how old they are.
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders so talk to them, get to know them better, feel them out more. What are they looking for in a relationship? Long term? Marriage? Children? No strings? Or just fun? Next time you meet a woman you like, be yourself with her. Don't push things too hard, just get to know her and keep it light, take the relationship slowly and don't be too quick to jump into bed with them as this can complicate things due to emotions getting in the way, especaially for a woman. It may be you sleep with her just because the night went well and this to you was the perfect way to finish off the night but depending on the woman, this could mean you are totally committed to her and you want her exclusively, love, marriage... the works! So be very careful to see exactly what she's looking for from the relationship.
And of course it's possible to have a relationship where there's an age difference. As long as you both have lots in common and are sensible and mature about things, things will work out.
Eve
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A
male
reader, Undisclosed +, writes (21 March 2007):
Undisclosed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your input!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Hi,
Until recently, my son always dated women who were 2-4 years older while he was in uni. I don't think there's anything wrong with dating older women and it's a great time of life for you to be trying on new relationships to find out what works for you. If the pool isn't big enough, expand yourself into other things that you envision for your future - if there are hobbies or sports that you love, try a few clubs and different locations. Art classes, museum tours, well - you get the drift - just make sure that you are interested in the subject matter and you are bound to meet more like-minded people. Don't forget those everyday places too, food shopping and hair salons are a good place to chat so keep your eyes open and wear a friendly smile. I love reading how couples have met - a common theme is when they least expected it and totally out-of-the-blue, when they weren't even thinking about meeting someone. Good Luck, you sound like quite a catch and I'm sure you won't have to wait very long!
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