A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 29yr old virgin, and while I know that's 'okay', I really would like to have a (few) sexual experience(s) before I turn thirty. (And please don't give me self-esteem advice or wait-for-fate advice. I just really want to try this, in case I get hit by a bus next month and am lying there thinking to myself, "Sh*t, I never went skydiving, read War and Peace, or had sex.")The problem is, my life is a bit unstable right now (though not in a bad way). I don't want to have a boyfriend. I just want to 'get laid'.And then the problem is, I've always been a 'good' girl. I haven't the foggiest idea where the closest club even is, much less how to pick up a man who is safe. And of course, I am inexperienced, so I don't exactly want someone to just slam me on a bed and go at it.I've checked the classifieds and some online reviews of the effectiveness of such, which made me pretty confident that I'd get loads of takers, some of them quite decent men. But I am a bit leery of the possibility of disease, if these are men who customarily pick up strangers for sex. Of course, I'm ready for safe sex, birth control, and self defense, but even the most considerate and careful partner may have something he doesn't know about.The internet is so far of no help, because all 'how to get laid' sites are geared towards men trolling for women. The general consensus seems to be that if you are female and are not having sex, then obviously you don't want it. UNTRUE!Well, the internet has found you, and you're my last hope. So I hope that you can help me. Please!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2009): just hire a decent-looking male escort. i know it ain't classy, but at least you won't 'die a virgin,' and it'll probably be more comfortable when you actually do sleep with somebody you care about.
A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 sex isnt everything and u shouldnt put too much preassure on yourself to lose your virginity.
everyone has a time and place for it, and to be honest would u really want to lose it to a total stranger and realise it isnt hyped up as everyone makes it out to be?
good sex is when u love someone and this is more pleasurable for the body.
good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): Amazingly like you - I was 29 when I was thinking about losing my virginity too! - I had a previous boyfriend who I knew I didn't love so I never let him go all the way..
So then I started to panic and when I did eventually get round to it - I discovered the man (who was very nice on the outside) had a dark and sordid past - which really made me regret giving him my virginity!!
But - I was just unlucky!! - Looking back I wish I had lost it in my twenties - but only to the right guy!!
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A
male
reader, wyte529 +, writes (22 July 2009):
It's kind of hard to say, but i actually disagree with the whole idea of having sex with one of your close friends. Yes, very true that you know them better then just meeting a random person, but sometimes even your closest friends could have some sort of disease that you don't know about. Also there's a good chance that you could get into deep with this whole thing, and now you and/or this friend will look at each other completely different. Even though it's just to have sex, feelings on one side could grow, and since your not looking to date, it's a good chance that you could harm any friendship with that person. Just from experience, i did that, and i guess you call it the friend with benefits thing, but after the fact, things were never the same btwn us. I guess if you really consider trying it out with a friend, at the least make damn sure that you and him both know that this is all it is, nothing further. Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (22 July 2009):
 if you are that desparate to get laid without a relationship then perhaps you've got a friend you feel comfortable around and would know he would take care in protecting himself from giving you any diseases and make sure it is what you want to do!
i mean as so many other aunts and uncles have said you do have to be SO careful that it's not any Tom Dick or Harry because who knows what they're carrying.
try it with a guy friend get STI checks done before going ahead put your mind at ease and DEINFATELY use birth control and condoms! make sure your guy friend respects you.
Hope this helps :)
x ilovebowsandcherries x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): God, yeah. If such a website exists, it's buried by all the advice to men for how to get a woman into bed. You can search for "woman wants man" and you'll get sites on "how to find a woman who wants a man". It's ridiculous.Thanks for the advice. I have two somewhat close male friends but they're both totally 'good boy' types. One of them would probably ostracize me for life if I asked him. And the other one might be okay but I don't think could help me. sigh But it's good advice. Maybe I need to make some more male friends. :DAnd yes, I rated sex with skydiving and classics that I haven't gotten around to reading. I'm not expecting fireworks or roses. I just really want to get laid already! Biological clock ticking here!
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A
female
reader, Candy apples +, writes (22 July 2009):
If you want to get laid, I suggest find someone you would be comfortable with like a guy friend. Sex is so amazing but there's more downsides than good. If you lose your virginity to the wrong person you could become emotionally scarred for the rest of your life, I'm only telling you from experience. I wanted to have sex and I didn't care who it was with and the guy tricked me by poking a hole in the condom and giving me gonorrhoea and Chlamydia. Now, its hard for me to have children. All I'm saying is that if you wanna be de virginized, make sure its a person you know very well.
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A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (22 July 2009):
 I could tell you what works for me. I personally like using myspace to pick up women. The strategy is to do a user search for the criteria your looking for. Mainly singles. Send out 15+ emails saying "Hi,thought you looked sexy and couldn`t pass up a chance to say hello. I`d like to talk to you and get to know you better". As an example.You being a woman will probably get more replys then I do,but it will give you multiple candidates to choose from. And I would suggest you don`t look for "just sex". Having a real relationship is so much more fulfilling. And if you set out looking for companionship it generally leads to sex anyways. STD`s are always a possibility as anyone you get with will have had multiple partners. Just use your best judgement and be careful.
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A
female
reader, Beau_Gallante +, writes (22 July 2009):
 The fifth paragraph, the part where you said "sites are geared towards men trolling for women" is so true. I can not search for shy women getting men because there are always articles, vides, forums, etc. that help out mean...even the adult website are geared toward men (sigh, that is a different subject). Well since you are 29 I assume you realize that sex is just sex, not saying that it shouldn't be special, but at your age you are willing with if the guy not having any emotional connection, so here it goes.Do you know any close guy friends that you can trust? I think you should "get laid" by one of them, of course be cautious about it and have them checked out. If I was in your situation I would at lease get it up to someone I know and trust :)
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