A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 16 year old female and I really want to lose my virginity. My mates go on about sex all the time. They say how good it is and how much they enjoy it. When I'm thinking about loosing my virginity I feel confident but when I nearly did it with my ex boyfriend I backed out cause I was paranoid about what he would think about my body. I'm really self-concious of my body and I always put myself down because I just think I'm a fat blob and a waste of space. I'm also scared that its going to hurt a lot, but I don't mind if it's going to hurt a little bit because I'm good with pain. I don't know what to do. I just think if I loose my virginity I will feel a lot better about myself and less self-concious. I keep thinking that if it was someone I wasn't close to, I would be alright with losing it. I'm too scared to talk to anyone about this. Advice or help from you guys?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): that is amazingly relieving to hear you say. I'm so glad.. and i know that you will be in the future!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the help and advice.
I'll wait for the right person when they decide to come along :)
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A
female
reader, SweetyBaby  +, writes (14 April 2009):
You should really stop and think about giving up your virginity. Sex is not all that your friends tell you it is. You said you don't like your body and that maybe after you lose your virginity you will feel better.... WRONG !!! You will only feel worse. Sex should be between two people that have at least some feelings for each other - not something done just for the sake of losing your virginity. I lost my virginity at 18 and to this day I wish I could go back in time and change what I did. You should really save yourself for marriage. If you have an older male in your family or an older male friend that you can trust, ask him about how precious a virgin is. It's only a one time rare and precious gift and should be treated as such. You would not give a rare and precious gift to just anybody, but to one that you love and trust.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): When you are older, i'm sure you will look back and think you sound rediculous. Losing your virginity is something that can only happen once, and it's supposed to happen with someone who you really care about. I hate it when people care SO much about what other people think and about fitting in with everyone around them that they are willing to degrade themselves and do things that show no character. I don't really even have words for this.. for some reason i just can't find them.. but please.. don't lose your virginity just because everyone around you is and you're insecure.. i'm insecure too.. insecure as hell.. not because i'm overweight, because that's something i can control, but because of what people have done and said and acted like in the past, that's how I am.. and the way i handle that is with strength.. not with caving in to make everybody else think that i'm someone else.. Be your own person.. you're only 16.. 16... you have plenty of time. I'm very sad to know that people think this way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): your totally right nineetoes sex is overrated. its just another form of pleasure. your virginity should be treated with dignity. you have plenty of time. don't ruin that just because your friends are going on about it. when you lose that sometimes it come with alot of pain and hurt and i'm not talking about physical pain and hurt. your heart will be hurting like no other hurt you have ever had. make sure this is something you want to do for the right reason not because everyone is doing it. you will be better off in the many years to come. be proud of that. you are a special person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks alot guys (:
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionninetoes - I don't like chocolate XD but I understand what you mean :) . Thank you anyway, you were alot of help :) and thanks for saying I'm not a waste of space ^__^
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A
male
reader, blazee +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I would really think about this before you go ahead. I wouldnt have sex to solve any self conscious issues you have about yourself, or because your friends keep talking about how great it is. If you use sex as a means to overcoming issues with self confidence about your body it will only lead to more problems, e.g being upset you did not lose your virginity to someone you love, being upset you lost it too early, etc. Have a look on this site, many women complain about how they lose their virginity. Have sex when you find someone you really love and you want to do it for the right reasons.
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male
reader, RichardJames  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 Dont do it because you want to lose your virginity. Do it because you deeply care for someone and want to share something special with them. People throw around sex casually and it is a very sacred thing. I promise with all my heart that you will be disappointed later if you dont wait for the right time. Being sexual does not make you attractive. I am 26 yrs old and it took me along time to realize that character makes the person. I rather have a 5 with a great personality than a 10 that doesnt. Sex is overrated unless its with someone you love. Trust me. You are special and the person you share that with should be highly exstatic that you chose them for such a special occasion. You cannot get it back no matter what. Listen to your heart.
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female
reader, ninetoes  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 seriously...sex is overrated. Yes, it's good but really...it's no more exciting than never having tried chocolate before. It's great, and delicious, but once you eat a whole chocolate bar every day, you've had enough.
Besides, you can always satisfy sexual cravings with masterbation, but you can't satisfy chocolate with anything else!
It really does hurt your first time, and it's not worth just doing it once with some dude that you don't really care all that much about. IT sucks to have a crappy virginity story, trust me!
On the other hand, you are right about it making you less self-conscious. I was 17, and I felt that it did make me feel more comfortable because I understood a world obsessed with it...and made me wonder what the crazy obsession was all about! It's good, but not all it's cracked up to be, it's just a part of life, that's it.
ps you are NOT a waste of space!!!
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