A
male
age
41-50,
*ruce lee
writes:Hi everyone. I am back and I've got a really important question. I guess all questions on this forum are important. It hasn't happened for a few months, which is good, but sometimes people insult me when I say I don't want a girlfriend. They either ask if I'm gay, or they tell me to my face that there is something wrong with me. How should I react to this? Should I never speak to them again? Or is that being childish?Why do some people insult me when I say I don't want a girlfriend? Don't they understand that I am disfigured and that it's none of their business anyway if I don't want a special someone in my life. Are people all stuffed up in the head in this world? Or is it just me?I have Asperger's Syndrome, but that doesn't mean that it's okay for people to interfere, or insult me. Does it?Why oh why do people love to stick their nose in my business all the time? What is wrong with them?I have had it off with female prostitutes before. Doesn't that prove I'm not gay? Should I announce this to a crowd of people at a dinner party to shut them up?How can I shut them up? If a woman says she doesn't want a boyfriend, no-one calls her a lesbian. But if a man says, he doesn't want a girlfriend, everyone jumps to conclusions, and asks if he is gay.I think society is full of idiots.
View related questions:
lesbian, prostitute Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bruce lee +, writes (20 February 2011):
bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes, I think a sense of humour is a good idea when people insult me. But I am tempted to never speak to them again if they go too far.Thanks for your answers.Maybe these people who stick their nose in my business are bored with their lives, and find it to be a lot of fun to interfere in someone else's. They feel insecure (as the anonymous female said) and they don't want people to have the guts to do what they couldn't do.I don't think I am a strong person. Thanks for the compliment though lakers lover09.Usually, I don't insult people back if they insult me. I just avoid them for two or three years, and that irritates them. Or I undermine them in some way. And as KissFromARose says...I will do things MY WAY. It's my life and others will have to just keep out of it.Thanks again everyone for your answers. This discussion was fun.
A
male
reader, lakers_lover09  +, writes (20 February 2011):
Tell them tht u r one of the few people in the world strong enough to be independent and.not NEED another to be happy. Tht will make them feel dumb. And for the record, I wish I was as strong as you
...............................
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (20 February 2011):
This is what society always do
Unfortunatly it is almost unavoidable
And your worriying about it won't solve it but infect it well make it worse
Just make jokes of what people say and never take it serious
Good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 "I say I don't want a girlfriend." "ask if I'm gay" "Should I never speak to them again? Or is that being childish?"
This used to happen to me. I just ignored them and was able to either limit my interactions with them or cut them off altogether. It's a matter of basic decency. I don't ask about their sex life so in turn they have no right to ask me about mine.
Have you had a girl tell you she wants to "change you"? Meaning she thinks you're homosexual and wants to "change you" to being heterosexual? I've found a sense of humor goes a long way in situations like this. My line used to be "I don't have a girlfriend, I prefer moderately priced women". And if I was really comfortable in a crowd of people I'd pick out one of the women, point to her and say "And you're way too rich for my blood." Just make a joke out of these situations because in reality these people are jokes. Best of luck to you!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): actually if a woman says she doesn't want a boyfriend, she can be called a lesbian.
I know what you mean. I'm getting divorced, I'm in my late 30s. SO MANY people tried to discourage me from getting divorced. they don't care how much the marriage was hurting and damaging my well being. All they cared about was "a woman at your age shouldn't' be single". WTF?. it's more important to be married/in a relationship, than to be HAPPY or to be un-miserable?
this is my take on why people are like this:
1. they are close minded. They think that everyone must follow the same template for life: go to school, get a stable job, get married, have kids. If you deviate, you're, well, deviant.
2. they chose that path for some selves and now they regret it. So if they see someone else having the guts to not blindly follow that path like sheep unlike them, it threatens their own sense of self. they don't want people to have the guts to do what they couldn't do - i.e. live their own lives according to what they feel is right for them rather than being a muppet and trying to pretend they're happy about it.
3. some people who are happy with their lives are so smug that they look down their noses at anyone who is not like them and see it as their civic duty to "help" others to become like them. these people. often they are insecure about being single so it's such a relief when they finally get married that they can't imagine how anyone could possibly not feel as insecure about being single as they were. they must "help" others escape the terrible affliction of being single just because to them it was terrible because they never learned to be independent.
you should distance yourself from such people who pressure you. they have their own hang ups if they are taking it upon themselves to criticize you when you're just minding your own business. they won't change.
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (20 February 2011):
 These people have no right sticking their noses in. Next time one insults you, tell them to get stuffed, and to remove their rather large noses from your business.
If you are happy being single, then that's fine. As long as you are happy.
To be honest, if they were insulting me, i would just insult them back... See how they like it...
...............................
|
