A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I know age is "just a number." But I met this guy through a mututal friend and he's 14-years older than me. I told my friend that I found him attractive but that I thought he might be a little too old for me. Anyway, we've started seeing each other for a few weeks and even surprising to myself, I really like him as a person. We share the same type of sense of humor, how we feel about people; basically, we can both carry an engaging conversation with each other and have many things in common. We did sleep together, and it has been the best sex I've ever had with anyone EVER. But I wanted to get some insight from people, especially parents with adult children. I mean, the guy is only 10-years younger than my dad. And I know he has a lot more life experience than I do and such, but should I be a little weary since he's never been married and doesn't have any children? I did ask him why he's never been married and he told me that because of his parents getting divorced as a child he has to not have a doubt in his mind that he's marrying the right person. I think it can be legit or just an excuse, I don't know. I haven't told my parents yet, no use in freaking them out unless a real, solid relationship develops.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust a little more detail, he was engaged several years ago, but someone died and she wasn't there for him is basically what happened, so he ended it. He has told me that he wants to get married and have children. So I assume he's not a huge commitmentphobe, at least it's on his mind. Kind of like anon male (thank you for sharing your point of view btw). I do want to have children too and get married of course.
We went out last night and I just have a lot of fun with him. I really like him :) But thanks everyone for your answers, it is greatly appreciated. I know as you get older the gap in age narrows, but I worry about what others would think too much I guess. Thank you.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2011):
 I am 8 years younger than my Mother in law my husband is 11 years younger than I am... we are married 6 years and it's all fine... once you are past a certain age it's not a big deal.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): I'm 47 and my fiance is 35. I've never been married before. I had always wanted to get married, but I hadn't met the right person. I was also somewhat reluctant to get married too quickly becuase my parents had been divorced. I was extremely shy and insecure around women when I was younger, so I didn't date much and focussed my time and energy on education, career, etc.Once I reached my mid-late 30s, women would assume there was something wrong with me because I wasn't married. The general reaction was "He's good looking, successful, and he seems like a nice guy . . . he must be a huge commitment phobe!". It was extremely frustrating to want to get married, yet be rejected on the basis that I must not want to get married. I wished at times that I had been divorced just so women wouldn't make these assumptions about me.My fiance had a lot of the same thoughts, and it made our relationship difficult at times. She started pushing for marriage very, very quickly (apparently thinking she needed to figure out if I would ever get married so she could move on if I didn't agree to get married right off the bat)At this point in time my sex drive is quite a bit higher than hers, but that may change. This can change in any relationship, of course, so there's always some risk with respect to that.I have absolutely no idea if the guy you met is like me, but I wouldn't assume right off the bat that he'll never get married. I will say that I used to think I needed to have "no doubt" I was marrying the right person, but I gradually realized there will always be some doubt. No relationship is perfect. He might be different than me in that respect.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): love has no age as long both sides are satisfied
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 It depends. From the children issue, for instance. How essential is to you that you become a mother ?
For instance when I got married I thought I was going to have a child some time in future , and luckily I did and I am happy I did- yet I would not have been devastated if it had not happened. For some curious coincidence, the strongest and happiest couples among my friends are the childess ones, and anyway I never thought of a childless marriage as incomplete.
But maybe you do. And it could take quite a few years for such a skittish guy to be sure that you are definitely the one- and by that time he could decide that ,at 45 or thereabout,he is too old for children anyway. So, if kids are a big priority, maybe he's too risky as a partner.
Also, sex is great and your libido are well matched ... NOW. But in 15 years you'll be 42 and he'll be 66. A woman in her early forties is at the peak of a blooming, demanding sexuality,- but a man of 66- uhm, I don't know. ( Now, pls. all you mature yet virile Uncles on DC don't get mad- I am talking in general, I know there are exceptions ). This too, it's a matter of personal priorities. For some people a fulfilling sex life is an all important aspect of their marriage, some other could not care less.
I guess you have to know yourself well , and know what matters to you, before taking this bet.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): To be honest it wouldn't be the age that worries me! he is 41 year old, never been married or has a child? at that age you expect huge baggage so he must be a total commitment phobe. Is it worth wasting your time?
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male
reader, sobes4444 +, writes (24 February 2011):
 I think you should stick to dating kind of secretely for now until things become more clear
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female
reader, shortone1 +, writes (24 February 2011):
 WOW!! i wish this is all i could say,but my husband is about that many years older and we definently grew apart. he wants something different than i do. so either way its fun while it lasted thats what id say.be friends and do whatever,but do a back ground check. i would.i did on mine.i should of thought twice b4 marryin, but i think were headed 4 divorce, so dont tell your parents theyd freak mine did. hella.. i hope i helped you out alot. not sure what ur askin but i tried my best.
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