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male
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anonymous
writes: I just turned 20 and my little cousin is about to turn thriteen. I only see her a couple times a year and when I saw her over Christmas she said she had a nightmare and that I was killed and when she woke up she thought of killing herself because she thought I was dead. She also told me in not so many words that she is in love with me. Nobody else but me and her know about this. How do I handle something like this just before I am to go overseas? Please give me some guidenice. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): Hey, I love my cousin...he is 18 and i am younger about three years and I love him to death...ive never told anyone because Im scared he will find out and wont feel the same way about me that I feel for him...but im always thinking of him and my heart hurts when I remember we are family...i so want him to feel the same way...but i dont think he does...that breaks my heart...i dont know what to do...but belive me...experiencing what love feels like at a young age is possible...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): When I was 13 my 16 yr old cousin could tell I was madly in love with him. He felt the same way but was pressured by his father to not have any contact with me. His dad could see our feelings & he told my cuz I was a child & that he was a sick perv if he pursued me. I saw my cuz one more time after that when I was 15 & he was 18 & things got HOT!! Once again it was so easy to see & my uncle had another "talk" with my cuz. After that I never got to see him again & I am now 27. He married someone else while he was in the military & now I am married to. We still love each other though. We dont talk now because it would only make things harder but the love is still there so many years later. I feel like I lost my soulmate & I know he feels the same but we both have kids & do whats best for them. I just wanted you to know that I fell this hard for my cuz when I was only 8yrs old. I knew it was love then & it is still love now. We tried to ignore it & it has only messed up our lives. I believe a 13 yr old is extremely capable of loving someone & knowing what love feels like. I also bet she carries a torch for her first love until the day she dies. I know exactly how she feels & at 27 I would have outgrown a crush. Please just let her know that you have to let her grow up but if you have feelings for her to(which you failed to mention) then let her know youll wait & then follow through. Otherwise you could both wind up just settling for something else.
Good luck in your future.
LuvMyCuz
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2006): I totally disagree with some of the statments made. Anyone can fall in love with anyone, no matter how old they are. Anyone can expirence love at whatever age.
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male
reader, Zabadack +, writes (7 January 2006):
she's a kid, in 10 years time she'll be sitting in the local pub biting her first as she remembers her most embarrasing moment.. don't worry about it too much mate.
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A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (6 January 2006):
 I forgot to add that a great majority of 12-going on 13-year-olds don't know what it is to be in love, so don't take her words entirely seriously. However, her mention of suicide bothers me. If she keeps it up, and you have reason to believe that she would indeed place herself in danger, you must immediately seek help from another adult or from a professional, for her sake.
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A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (6 January 2006):
Explain to her that you are flattered, but that the two of you are cousins (not to mention that she is a child and you are an adult), so while she can certainly love you as a relative, it isn't appropriate for her to be *in love* with you in a romantic sense.
Hopefully, it is just a harmless childhood crush, as kellyO suggested, and she will outgrow it soon enough. Who knows... maybe she'll forget about it while you're overseas. When you come back, she'll probably be fancying a different boy. Teenage girls tend to be very fickle like that.
She is at a vulnerable, immature age, and I expect that you will steer her in the right direction.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (6 January 2006):
 Dearie, it probably a crush. she is still 13 and i had alot of crush at that age for guys older although i wouldnt voice any out.
My advise is that u should treat her like your little.dont encourage her.
All the best dear.
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