A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi i am 18 years old im 18 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend of 2 yrs is still trying to get me to have an abortion or a miscarriage he said if i love him i would do that for me. mind you dat 1yr ago i had an abortion of havin 2twins 1girl n1 boii - he said he would be there by my side but he waznt, i dealt wit it on my own. now he juss spent some money for the baby crib on sneakers he sayin that the baby is not here yet he has time to get more money he never chills with me, goes to parties with his friends, leaves me to go to appoinments i decided to go with it on my ownhave some of my friends and family to help when i need it i plan on taking care of this baby on my own but what should i do? please help me give me some advice
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female
reader, old-spinstah  +, writes (20 January 2010):
Hi,
The decision is entirely yours. Don't let anyone bully you into a decision either way. If you really want your baby and you have the emotional and financial support from family & friends, I see no reason for you to abort.
I think you should stop trying to get ANY kind of support (or even expect any) from the father. He's obviously not ready for fatherhood and can't even get his head round the concept. Some men do come round in situations like this and make reasonable Dad's after the birth but I think they're far and few between. Most just continue their self-centered behaviour.
You should get finacial support from him after the birth using the proper legal channels.
A
female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (20 January 2010):
 This is most likely easier said than done, but if i were you I would end it with him. He is not reliable, not if at first he says that he will help you and stay by your side then, goes off and isn't there for you and doesn't help you. Its also obvious if he is STILL pushing abortion at 18 weeks pregnant that he doesn't care about you or the baby. Especially when he is "guilt tripping" you into getting an abortion by saying "If you love me then you would do it for me" I fell for that once too when I was younger. I ended up pregnant due to a rip in the condom, (I wish I'd known then that the plan B pill was availible) anyways I'd already made it clear that I wanted to give the baby up for adoption, but he kept going on about how I was ruining his life. ( Even though I was living on my own and supporting myself, while he was still living with his mother, its not like he was doing me any favors.) I figured adoption would be best, and i'd told him several times that he could leave he didn't have to be there, that I could have the baby put up for adoption ( I already had two families in mind that wanted children, but could not have their own) I even told him that I woud sign a contract stating that I would not keep the baby, because realistically I really couldn't. I also told him I would sign something stating that I wouldn't go after child support, because he was worried about that too. But he just kept making me feel awful. So finally I just felt so guilty that I had the abortion (pill form) He said he would be with me after and that we could go on living a happy life. Ha! Not two weeks later he broke up with me, and by the end of the month had someone else pregnant. (and then pressured her into an abortion as well, but not only him, he had his mother and father pressure her as well!) So I really don't have much sympathy for men like my ex and your bf. I always give a guy the benefit of the doubt, I mean I understand if they aren't ready to have a baby. I value their opinions about what to do as far as pregnancy, but when it seems like all they care about is themselves and don't really care how much anything hurts you, physically or emotionally... thats when I call it quits. But after this baby, I strongly suggest that you get on some form of birth control, because if you really are only 16 - 17, and already went through aborting twins a year ago, and are now 18 weeks pregnant... you are just way too young. And maybe you really aren't thinking about it, but you need to. Its hard on your body putting yourself through things like this, and it also effects your life, having a baby so young. You are VERY lucky to have a family that will help you. So just keep in mind that if you are old enough to have sex, then you are old enough to be responsible about it, and shouldn't be getting pregnant at this time in your life.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (20 January 2010):
This guy just doesn't care about you at all, and if he's playing mind games on you like this, you need to be away from him for your sake and the baby's. You have a good family and some good friends who want to help you, so let them. Just make sure this guy pays for his baby. But don't be bullied like this.
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