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I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 15, nearing 16.

Tagged as: Age differences, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 December 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *abalou writes:

First off, I'm well aware of the age of consent and such, and neither of us plan to have sex with each other any time soon. (Well, we haven't talked about anything sexual and I fully intend to wait until he is of age before anything like that happens.) My question though is does this seem wrong? When we met, we were obviously just friends. He was dating someone and I wasn't looking to date anyone because I feel like I'm too busy since I just entered college and such. We hung out just about everyday, just as friends, but I gradually began growing more fond of him. Because I'm shy, his age, and again, wasn't looking for a relationship, I didn't tell him about how I felt. I had planned to just go on as friends with him. Even when his girlfriend broke up with him, I didn't take advantage of the opportunity. (Luckily they ended on good terms so he wasn't really too upset about it.) There where still things keeping me from telling him though. We stayed close even then and began getting more and more attached to each other, and eventually, without me provoking him, he admitted to liking me as more than a friend. I told him how I felt as well, (which I don't regret) and after a while, we agreed to be together. We enjoy spending time with each other more than we like being around others.

With all of this being said, will people see this as being wrong since I'm considered an adult, although we don't have a sexual relationship yet? Honestly, I don't intend to leave him even if others see it as wrong because I haven't exploited him in any way, I'd just like to get some feedback. I don't have too many close friends that live around me, especially none around since all of this happened after I moved to a new city, so there's no one I've really told about this yet. I must also add that he is very mature, more mature than any older guys I've dated as well as the ones closer to my age. Also, before this, I've never liked any younger guys since most of the ones I'd encountered were silly and immature.

View related questions: broke up, immature, shy

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A male reader, doom France +, writes (4 December 2012):

doom agony auntSo?It doesn't seem wrong at all. Some boys at 16 can look as 18. So if you're having sex or not in my oppinion it's nothing bad. At 17 i had GF who were 21, does it seem odd?! no, if you feel well together then be happy. just remember after 18 age doesn't mean nothing =))) n our world small guys go out with tall girls,women))

good luck=)

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (1 December 2012):

CindyCares agony aunt The laws about age of consent do not only refer to having sex = intercourse, but to ANY kind of sexual contacts. Just saying :).

People will most probably not see this as " wrong " in the sense of morally evil-, but as odd, strange , or somewhat ridicolous. Considering that, as you mention, you are a young adult and he, mature or not, is a kid. Expect a few puzzled looks, a few sniggers.

Naturally, though,you are not bound to take into account people's opinions. You can decide to ignore them.

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A female reader, babalou United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2012):

babalou is verified as being by the original poster of the question

babalou agony auntOh, and please, no one make assumptions about either of our character. I just want to know the answer to that one question, given the listed circumstances. Thanks :)

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A female reader, babalou United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2012):

babalou is verified as being by the original poster of the question

babalou agony auntI've made it clear that I'm very in control and I don't intend to have sex with him since it's illegal, but thanks for the input anyway.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012):

"My question though is does this seem wrong?"

Not to me no, pretty normal really just usually it's the other way around. The only issue you have is the age of consent and how long it will be until he's 16.

If it's something like 6 months then you are going to break the law I don't care how much you promise nothing sexual will happen, you're not going to go that long without getting sexual which is very much against the law too. If you think a 15 year old boy is going to months before initiating any sexual contact then you're sorely mistaken OP and if his parents take exception to this then you're in trouble.

look OP people will have a problem with it, and people will talk. This is a 15 year old and an 18 year old, I don't care ho mature you think he is, he's not. How much more mature are you now than when you were 15? Big difference isn't it? Well that's the difference between you and him no matter how mature he acts. Emotionally he's still just a kid. just because he's not silly, doesn't mean he's mature. I've met 12 year olds who were quieter, more polite, respectful and calm than a lot of adults, that doesn't mean they're mature, it just means they behave calmly.

Stay within the law OP, and just be careful, you're going to have to deal with the age difference and the different reactions from people. Just don't get carried away, you're the adult here and he's still just a kid so you have to be the mature one and keep your head.

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A male reader, tykeavenger24 United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2012):

There isn't a problem with it as your not going to have sex until he's legal so there isn't any wrong doing. I think he would've thought about sex with him being that age but credit to yourself for waiting until he's legal. Theres nothing wrong with it if you both like each other and aren't doing anything illegal which your not its perfectly ok.

hope i helped

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