A
female
age
30-35,
*vex
writes:im 17, with a 44 year old. i love him to bits and he's going through a divorce. he's got 2 kids - one just 3 weeks younger than me.im currently living with him, but my parents and freinds think im staying with a few mates i met at work. we have not told any one cause of age gap, but when we come out we hope people will accept it.i love him and he makes me happy.ps he's not my first big age gap.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): reader, you bet it is! It is my business until she is twenty-one,...and it is still my interest even after that, whether I have legal say or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Well if you do have a daughter is it your choice as to whom she goes out with? NO her life her choice
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): (lol) And I see it did get me a few hits, just as expected. I am used to that. No biggy. A man's gotta say what a man's gotta say...
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Sorry, all. Maybe it is a culture clash, or whatever. But, if any 44 yr. old bloke ever messed with my 17 daughter, I would beat the living crap out of him and threaten his life if he ever tried it again. Just the way it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): erm friendtom she lives in the u.k and she is 17 and it is her choice as to who she loves!!! she only asked for a way to tell other people about it and i dont blame her the way youve been going on shes worried about other people doing exactly what you have done! listen honey tell them in your own time and if they cant accept your decision then are they truly caring friends e.t.c
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): Ivex, honey, this is a very bad situation for you. This man is not a "good man". He is using you. No man his age "loves" a girl your age, no matter what you think he feels, or what you think you feel. And you say he is not the first.....I don't know what your home life was like, Ivex, but, you seem to need someone to be your father/bf/caregiver....and you seem to think you need men who are old enough to be your father...or grandfather, even! Honey, where do you think your life is going with this? You already said he has children as old as you...Goodness, honey, what kind of relationship do you think you can have here? And what are you doing now? Are you in school? What do you want from your life, hon? Do you expect to just be taken care of by some grandfather all your life? What are you going to be as a woman? And you are a long way from being a woman now. And if you are not careful, and you probably aren't, you are going to be a mother soon. And then what? Do you think "grandpa" is going to take care of you and the baby? Hon, as soon as you are pregnant...he will lose interest in you. You are not a "sex puppy" any more, and he does not want your child to support, either. He is already committing a crime, because you are under age. He could go to jail for a long time right now. I suggest that you get out from under the roof now and go to whatever home you have. If you have none, go to social services. Just do not stay with this pervert, because that is what he is. I know you will probably not listen to a word I have said. But I say it anyway. And I don't give a damn about 'ratings' from other kids your age. That is not what I am about.
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reader, thelittleone!  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Hello!
Well, there are a lot of tabus around ur question but if he makes u happy, u should accept this situatrion .. maybe yhe is older than u but the age is just a number .. anyway if he isn't good just take a break but don't do it cuz of his age .. maybe it's gonna be hard for ur family and ur friends to accept it but if they love ya they are gonna understand ... and maybe they are gonna say something like he'sn't the right guy cuz of his age but trust ur heart and follow ur feelings but if u wanna have baby or something be really sure about ur feelings
xoxo
little one
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): Going through a divorce?
I hope it works out but
it seems kind of like he is using you as a distraction.
If this is real are you going to be prepared for the future?
With such an age gap I dont see him wanting to
go out and enjoy life like you will want to
In addition to that you are most likly always going to
face probelms with his family and your own.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): Well there seems to be quite a lot of negativity from the female answers but, as a male and quite possibly biased, I say good luck and long may it last. I can see no harm in a large age gap and disagree totally that your man isn't mature enough to cope with a relationship involving a woman his own age. That remark has no basis and is being'ageist' for its own sake. I suspect some jealousy here and overly-protective motherly instincts. From personal experience, I know age gaps either way can and do work so, when you think the time is right, pluck up the courage and tell all. You don't have to mention his age, just say he is a bit older and let people make up their minds, based on actually meeting the guy and seeing how happy you both make eachother.Good luck.
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reader, hlskitten +, writes (23 September 2008):
 Its fairly common in this country 'iwannaloveme' for blokes in their 40's to be foolish enough to fancy girls the same age as their daughters. Usually its guys that aren't mature enough to cope with grown up relationships with women their own age and want to control the young girl and lets face it, its easier with the young girls. And its very common for young girls to love the older guys as father figures. Brittish dads can be neglectful to their offspring, to say the least. Usually when they move onto new women, the kids come second, and then we have them growing up to date older guys/women. Sadly big age gaps are becoming more common, and thats women going with younger men too.
My daughter is nearly 12, so its hard to say, but I couldn't imagine being comfortable with her shacking up with a bloke old enough to be her dad when she turns 17.
I wouldn't dissown her or anything like that! But I would be worried. I would like to think she will date guys nearer her age. That will go through changes and grow up at a similar atge to herself.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I think you need to have a daughter to see where i'm coming from possibly.
C xxx
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reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (23 September 2008):
 I agree what Tellulah and LaydeeLove has been said. Tell your parents, but first make them to be ready. I think you should tell your mother first, because she would probably be more understandable. First tell you have a boyfriend who is much older than you, then introduce him to your family. Don't tell everything in just one day.. Tell them that you want to live with him for a while, because your love is true and you both feel the same way. Don't worry about ages.. If it's real love and you two have good relationship, then you don't need to worry. I just have to warn you, be careful and don't tell all people you know about your relationship, because they may hurt you. Tell only your close friends and family. And if someone of your acquaintance see you two walking down the street, well.. it's not your problem anymore!
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reader, TELLULAH +, writes (23 September 2008):
 Its only natural that your family will think the worst when you tell them. I cant imagine how I would have reacted if my daughter had done the same as you. The worst thing that you are doing though, is keeping it a secret. Because that makes it look as though you are ashamed and guilty.
Who knows if it will work, I guess that's down to you both. I think personally that he is to old for you, but love does not recognise age does it?
Good luck XX
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 September 2008):
 When people hide something it's because deep down they feel it's wrong or something to be ashamed of. Why are you hiding your relationship?
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reader, iwannaloveme  +, writes (23 September 2008):
 i dunno whats your history with your guy but he sounds like a pervert in the american system. im sorry i hope dis doesnt offend u but outside of the american system its okay.
lets get real, he going thru a divorce and has kids and his living his futur right now. he probably just need a rebound .u need to prepare ur futur and not let some1 mess it up. im sure u guys are having sex, wat if he gets u pregnant and decides to leave you, then wat. ur stuck with a child, u have to go to school, work hard and make sure ur child live the best life possible, probably pay for school for yourself and for your child and u gonna have to feed ur self and ur child and pay bills. this can be pretty hard.
if he cant stay with the woman that he promised to be with forever wat makes u think he wont just get up and leave u one day... im not saying its gonna happen but becareful sweetheart, it happens everyday.
but if you think he really cares about you and really wants to be with you ... like some celine dion type of stuff...wait until ur 18 and make sure u take him to mommy and daddy cuz dis can get dirty...
good luck babe
good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): I agree with LaydeeLove..X as long as he treats you good and you love each other thats all that maters right? Just let them know gentally don't just drop the bomb you know? Sit them down and tell them and them how much you two love each other and make each other happy.
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reader, LaydeeLove..x +, writes (23 September 2008):
you should tell your parents aslong as he treats you right and shows you love and dosent make you do anything that you dont want to do aslong as your happy then you should tell your pearents and then should accept it :)
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