A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey. So I'm only 16 but sometimes I get like really hormonal and obsessive about having a baby. Its not all the time, but when i do get it its like unbareable - like I just want a baby so badly. Its really scary and upsetting - why do i feel like this? And how can i get over it?
View related questions:
want a baby Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Eilish +, writes (15 March 2011):
 I know she isn't planning on having one. I'm just trying to talk her out of it if she is getting to the stage where she's ready to plan for one at this age. Nothing wrong with that.
A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (14 March 2011):
 Ok people calm down! She didnt say she was planning to have a baby, she just said she wanted one. There is a slight difference!
I can really relate to how you are feeling. I started having those urges when I was 17 and now that i'm almost 22 and my hormones have subsided a bit its been easier to deal with. I found it occured mainly with PMS.
What you really have to do is find something to focus on. Dont push away these feelings, they are nomal. Instead accept them and enjoy the thought that you still have the time to prepare and get to that point in your life to when you are emotionally and financially stable.
Whenever I get really broody I go babysit a 13 month old and it puts it in perspective!
Nothing anyone can say can take away the urges of wanting to be a mother, but I can say that it will get easier to deal with the more things you fill your life with. And remember to look forward to the kind of life you want when your older with childeren and a partner. Where do you want to live? What do you want to do as a career?
My partner and I want to have kids in 6-8 years and we are allready preparing in small ways. We are starting to learn different languages so our childeren will be bought up bi-lingual and also sign language. You can start making changes now that will enrich your childerens lives when their older :-)
...............................
A
female
reader, Eilish +, writes (14 March 2011):
Right. Firstly, there are way too many teen mothers wondering about the place. It's ridiculous. They don't think it through properly. Babies are people, not an accessory.Babies need full time care 24/7. There is no choice and no way out of it, if you want a baby you will have to be there the whole time. Crying in the middle of the night - you will have to see to that. Changing nappies. Feeding. Trying to get it to sleep. Buying everything. Oh yeah, how will you afford that.Having a baby means you will have to drop out of school at the age of 16. Your baby will need its mother. You can't just dump it on someone else, it's your responsibility. And it needs that attatchment with you. Also, are you willing to do that? Willing to throw your dreams away and maybe get a job in the shop for the rest of your life to support this baby?And what about your life? You won't be able to live. You won't be able to go clubbing, go on holiday with your friends. You will never get these years back and you are just throwing it away. Your mates will be going out whilst your changing dirty nappies.You have the rest of your life to have a child. Please live your life and fulfill your dreams first.
...............................
A
female
reader, meldana  +, writes (14 March 2011):
Hey hon, I had those feelings as well and let me tell you... getting in touch with those feelings can help you financally. If you really want a baby start a babysitting business: that way you can see how hard the work is plus earn alittle cash on the side.
Trust me, once you see how hard it is to take care of a child you won't do anything rash.(Sometimes teens who have feelings like this get themselves knocked up so they can have the "mommy" experince. Best advice....DON'T)
If you're worried about the responablities you will have with watching a kid by yourself see if you can help a new mother in your family
One thing that new mothers need is a break and you would be helping alot by giving them time to themselves.
Doing either of these will help you gain exp in life.
Good Luck Hon!
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (14 March 2011):
 I feel you, sister. When I was 16, I wanted a baby sososososososo bad. I think it's due to the hormones kicking around that are preparing you for that very urge - to procreate, to be maternal. Hormones flying around could also explains why the urge is coming in spurts. Perhaps it could be in tune with your cycle, too. But hey, I'm 24 and I still have days where I want a baby SO BAD. Most days I'm really happy that I can do what I want, when I want and I'm loving getting my life and who I am on solid ground before having a little one.
So, what I did to help the urge (and still do) was I purchased a big plastic bin and started filling it up with baby stuff. What's the most fun about a baby?? Super cute baby things. My maternal drive shoots up a billion points the second I get around those cute little onesies and tiny shoes, pacifiers, all those fuzzy stuffed animals and ittybitty hats. So, I started buying that stuff and throwing it into my box. Whenever I really wanted a baby, I'd go out and buy a bib, a pair of footie pajamas or a box of diapers and I'd throw it in the box. It's not like you won't use them down the line!! In fact, you'll be totally grateful that past you was getting prepared! You can even start up a savings account for the baby's college money.
Also, why not start a journal for your future child? You can write about your life experiences, advice for them (eventually they'll be 16 too), you can tell them how much you already love them, think of baby names, etc. It will be a gift that your kid will cherish forever in the future.
And, like the previous poster suggested, you could get a dog. My fella got me a puppy and OHMYGOD, it is a ridiculous amount of work. You get to name them, they pee and poop all over the place and otherwise eat, sleep and play. ALL LIKE A REAL BABY! They are cuddly, sweet, but they don't make nearly as much noise as a baby, don't ruin your figure, take away from your social life or cost nearly as much money. I love my dog, even though she is a pain in the butt, and she helps curb that drive for something to love and shower affection on.
Anyway, what you're going through is 100% natural and normal. Best of luck, sweet thing!
...............................
A
female
reader, Whos that chick xxx +, writes (14 March 2011):
 Hey
Babies are alot of hard work as my auntie is finding out she can't cope sometimes with all the stress.
Anyway you want to live you life to the full as i had these feelings too about a baby i would even go and buy little baby cloths but then my mum said that ill never get the chance to have the freedom of going out with mates
Now i want to have a baby at 25 the age my mum had me so i would think really hard if this is what you really want or just a phase :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): You're only 16 and believe me, the VERY LAST thing you need right now is to become a mother. You can wipe out your life for the next 18 years (at least!)
Sometimes us gals are at the mercy of our hormones and we just - pardon the pun - have to go with the flow.
This kind of "broodiness" can hit us at various times. I remember I was in my early thirties and I couldn't see a baby (even on TV) without blubbing.
So, focus your thoughts on something else. Babies can bring so much joy, but they can also bring a great deal of heartache if they arrive at the wrong time (I daresay I'll be shouted down for this) and/or are unplanned.
You have your whole life ahead of you - live it. Make the best you can of your life and when the time is right, plan to have a baby with your partner/husband.
...............................
|
