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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: me and my boyfriend live in kansas. im 16 and i want to get married to him. the only way to do that though is if i have parent permission. i know my parents wouldnt like the fact that i want to get married at this young of age. is there anyway to bypass parent permission? the only thing i found is if i get pregnant i dont need parent permission but i dont want to do that. some one please help. my boyfriend and i always have to sneak around because my parents dont approve of me dating an older guy. he is 6 years older than me. he treats with respect. he always seems to make me smile when im sad or mad. i know im only 16 but i love him with all my heart. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2008): Screw all of you people who are quick 2 judge the young! either way in life people are different and their relationships are different and they work different, im 22 and have 3 kids and one on the way i married my boyfriend when i was 16 and that was the best desicion ive ever made my marrage life has been great!! teens will be teens, i say let them make mistakes and learn from them, its the only way they will learn, but in most cases its not a mistake when it comes to love, but one thing every teen should know before considering marrage is atleast be with your partner for 1 or 2 years just so you can get to know everyhing about them and then make your desicion but from an experianced "young wife" my life has been great so if your heart is tellin you to get married then do it! cuz you and ONLY you can read your heart and you and ONLY you know whats best for you regardless of age! dont let all these stupid judgemental ass holes tell you your too young they dont know you or your boyfriend so just push them outta your mind and do what you think and feel is right
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female
reader, julie[bby]  +, writes (6 October 2008):
![julie[bby] agony aunt](/avatars/1eb4914e-ff51-43ca-9fb5-8d443c089096.png) hello,my name is julia. im in a similar situation as you.im 16 turning 17 in a month or so and my boyfriend is 24.we are 7 years and 4 months apart.ive liked this guy ever since i was 13 and always thought ill never get with him. and finally one day it just happened.i was totally at loss for words.weve been through alot but im not letting go. mostly everyone in my family is against us because of age difference,except my mom and dad. i love him with all my heart and dont want to be with anybody else. we have talked bout marriage before but dropped it becausei thought my family wont let it happen.mow im seriously thinking bout asking my parents if i can. i want to get married to him and move away to kanas city where we start a life with just the two of us. im saying if u really care and love him then try with all heart to do as u wish,but take time to think bout i.it is a big decision.best wishes to you!
julia.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): Do you have an interest in 13-year-old boys?
Okay, then why do you excuse a 22yo who is ready to marry a 16yo girl? (And I'll bet you were even younger when he started after you, right?)
I'm sorry but you CANNOT have the right judgement at 16 to fully handle this situation. I'm not attacking you personally, I'm attacking the fact that your brain chemistry is not fully developed yet. (It's barely even done at his age, for that matter.)
He's committing a crime. The answer is not for you two to get married, the answer is for you two to wait until you're 18 and legal, and hope like hell he doesn't get arrested in the meantime. Your whole life is a long time. Two years shouldn't be a deal-breaker if this is "real love."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): Hi i'm 16 and I completely know what your going through! My boyfriend and I have a similar situation. He is older then me by two years. I often think about how I would love to merry him and yes I know i'm not as mature as a grown adult but I am a young adult and I know right and wrong. Being young is wonderful but it has it's negative points also like living under parent rules and not being able to do all what you want. Sadly not everyone can have what they want. I don't think it's right for any adult or anyone else for that matter to tell a young adult that the love they say they have is nothig real to what they can have or that they're to young. Age is just a number at any point in your life you can experience strong attraction for the opposite sex. You were all young once so don't critize our feelings you may say you know how we feel but honestly you don't your character is completely different then your childs or another young adults. I believe you should support your child when it comes to marriage yes some kids are completely to inmature to be married and they think they want marriage. You know you're in love not puppy love but actually IN LOVE with someone you can feel it and you just know. If you honestly think you are ready for that big step after thinking it over and the concequences that will come then I belive you should talk to your parents and not leave any detail out but tell them how you truely feel about each other and why you think you are ready to be married. Best wishes to you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): i am 15 yrs old and i am pregnant but for some reason we can't get married we don't want to get married just becuz we have a child on the way we love each other but we can't get around the parents well mine at least he is 17 yrs old so not much of a diff but my mom hates the fact that i want to get married and live with him she thought it was the baby but its not i would want to anyway the thing is there is no way around your parents u have to have permission and if u can prove me wrong just say so any way go for it if u love him be with him and ignor ur parents thats i have been doing the past 3 yrs of relationship just go with the flow
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): I am in the same situation...I am 16, and my fiance is 17, and we want to get married as soon as possible, but the only way to do it without our parents permission is to get pregnant. Were ready to get married, but not ready to have a child and start a family. We just want it to be me and him, and I know his mom will FLIP, but his dad might accually be happy for him... and my mom will be happy, but say "not at this age, you're too young." We just want to be happy, but can't be if the parent's will not let us. I totaly understand where you are coming from, and I'm really with you on..."what should we do?"
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): well, i'm a 15 year old girl that thinks the same as you,and i think you should fallow your heart and do what yourheart tells to do and if you really love him just try to be always with him no matter what your parents think or decide to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): hi im 16 and am dating a guy who is 8 years older then me i know that is a big age gap but age doesnt matter when you love some one which i do i love him very much and we have talked baout marriage and bth want to but i know my parents wont approve as they already dissapprove of yus dating so i dont think you are crazy about wanting to marry him because i would marry my boyfriend tomorrow if i could, i dont think you should become pregnant because that could cause a lto of friction between you and your familt and maybe also your bouyfriend but if you can find away then go for it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2007): I'm 17 and in love with a great guy, but i'm waiting until i'm out of school and ready to have my own family before I get married. Trust me it's worth the wait. You never know what can happen in a few months, or a year or two. You just might change your mind.
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female
reader, baby_i_know_u_wanna +, writes (9 February 2007):
i feel the same way and i don't want to have his baby just to marry him i belive that if you are really in love then you should be able to get married whenever you want but yeah
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): This wasn't a matter of your free agency. Obviously you can do what you will.
We were just wanting to give you some insight; have you take a look down the road.
Marriage won't fix your lonliness, neediness, emptiness and fill that ache of having a loving, supportive home.
How will you provide this if you are still young, learning and growing and feel you haven't really had it in the first place?
What does marriage mean to you? What are the elements you think marriage should have? What is it you believe you know you want and need in a life partner?
How do you see your role in marriage?
Either way, we just want you to be happy Sweetie.
Best Wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): i really like to get married at 16 i have a boyfriend i ask him would you marry me he said no i was to young i dont care what my mom said i am getting married on 14th feburday i think it is up to me
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A
female
reader, black_diamond329 +, writes (6 January 2007):
 I know years ago it was quite the norm for people to get married so young and they stayed together for their entire lives (not that they really had a choice in the matter) but now it's almost as you are setting yourself up for a fall. One of my best friends went out with a guy for 4years and they were engaged for two. Plan was to get married at 18 and not tell their parents and they believed this for years. Went on about how much they loved each other and gave each other their virginity etc and we all truely believed it would happen. Wann know what happened to them? They split up a few months ago. They are still friends but realised that as they grew older that they were both becoming very different people and didn't want to spend the rest of their lives together as husband and wife. She felt he would tie her down becuase despite being older than her he wasn't as smart. Now this may not happen to you but I think you should be aware of the fact that you are still developing into the real you. This was something I didn't believe when I was 16. I had my first serious boyfriend and I really thought we might end up getting married etc and when we split up I still thought we would get back together etc but now I realise how wrong we were for each other and how naive and immature I was back then. Things that were important to me then in a guy aren't now and i feel that if I were to have married him I would have ended up growing and developing and leaving him behind. I'm not telling you to dump him but don't think that just because you have a boyfriend who feels the same as you now that you both still will 5years down the line. You should definitely wait until you are into you mid 20s at least before you decide (if you are still with him that is) that this is what you want. You have your whole life to be married and pregnant whats the rush? Worried he might run off if he aint chained to you with a ring? Loads of folk never get married and just remain with their partners on living terms and they probably love each other more than some married folk. All I say is think about it. Who wants to be mrs so in so at 16?!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): please please please think about this properly! i dont want to burst your bubble or seem mean, but honey,you are way to young to know whats good for you, when i was 16 i thought i was allgrown up, but its only now i realised that i wasnt. Unfort, good things always come to an end, and you will breakmany hearts
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): if your in England go to scotland you can get married without parental permission at 16 there
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 ask yourself that in 4 years time when you are living with him and picking up his pants and cleaning up his mess! you are young yuo have plenty of relationships ahead of you.
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A
female
reader, Seratuki +, writes (3 January 2007):
 Hello hon.
Please think twice about this...I can tell you from experience..
My mother got married at 15, so she could get away from her parents, and of course she thought she loved my father so much.
But she missed out on so much, and later had 3 kids before the age of 20.
She never got to party and have fun, be a kid...she didn't even drive until she was in her 30's!
Because she got married so young she dropped out of school and had no life skills..
Eventually she began to resent my father and they would phisically fight...(throwing chairs..hitting...threats)
Well, the marriage failed, and she found herself a single mother, Jobless, Without a licence or a car..with three young kids and a mortgage.
To sum up, she ended up leading a very self distructive life for many years because of what happened to her, because she lost her chance to be young...
Please slow down and just enjoy being young while you are...
I wouldn't wish what happened to my mother on my worst enemy
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A
female
reader, Lilly223 +, writes (3 January 2007):
 At 16 you are too young to be making such a life altering decision. I understand at 16 you feel things deeply, and can possibly be in love, but there are reasons why there are laws against getting married in Kansas at 16. It is because you truly don't have the facilities to make good decision as big as this. You are still maturing, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. The person you are today will little resemble the person you are at 20, and even less so as the person you will be at 30. By marrying at 16 you will set the course of your life... which will probably mean no college, too many kids too early, the lost opportunity to find out who you will really be, and a real drag in the process. Trust me, marriage isn't just living together and having fun. It certainly isn't getting sex when ever you feel like it OR being able to do what you want when you feel like it. It is work, it is a life long commitment, it is HARD to do. It is also something you should not do if all you feel like doing is playing house. Playing house and actually having to DO it are two completely different things. I know, I know, I sound like a mother. I am. And I am telling you exactly what millions of other mothers out there would tell you. You are too young to do this, you will regret this later, and what you really need to be doing is learning in school, setting future goals for yourself, (goals that will TAKE you somewhere, not KEEP you somewhere,) and enjoying your teenage years. Trust me, being an adult isn't the pary up as you think it is. Don't try to rush in to being one, you have a lot of lessons to learn before then. Hopefully this will be a lesson you can hear and learn, rather than make the mistake and have to learn it the hard way. The repercussions of getting married now will compound and grow the older you get. Please don't get married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): How can he truly respect you if your parents are unaware of him?
Hiding, concealing, omitting is lying and has now put his and yours relationship in question.
I, as a parent, would not believe you two love one another and would need you both to prove you are in love before I would consent.
I would as I believe that if my daughter were going to lose her virginity/virtue...she should be married and then I would sure as heck want a chance to get to know my future son-in-law. Afterall, he is going to be the father of my grandchildren and he will need guidance and support on how to be a man who is self reliant and will meet my daughters needs financial, emotional, mental... .
You both have a lot of work to do and the first step is to bring this to light with your parents.
Best of Wishes.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (3 January 2007):
 Dorothy, click your heels together three times and say, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home".
Are you still in Oz, or back in Kansas where you belong?
Seriously. 16 is TOO YOUNG!!!!!!
If you want to date the guy for a 4 more years and you still feel the same way, then proceed with caution. Otherwise, go out and join your teenage friends and have fun.
16 is TOO YOUNG!!!
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