A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm fifteen years old and I am two months pregnant. I've been in a rocky relationship with my boyfriend for the past nine months. My boyfriend doesn't come from a stable enviroment. Has yet to get a job, and ever since I found out I was pregnant, we have been fighting more then ever.I thought about keeping the baby, but everyone talked about how much I would loose. Nobody would ever talk about how much I would gain. They basically made me feel like, if I had a baby, my life would be over.So I went with an Abortion, I am scheduled to have on Wednesday and I am scared to death. Abortion has always been against my beliefs, but I am too afraid now.I'm afraid that if I keep the baby, my boyfriend will leave me eventually. I will not be able to support it. A baby needs ALOT more then love.I'm basically stuck.. I don't know if I can go through with the Abortion. Even though I may be thankful in the long run... I don't have much time. I have until tonight to change my mind.Somebody.. help me?
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male
reader, Tomuchlove  +, writes (26 August 2009):
This is hard for you I know but you need to do what is right for you most people when it comes to this have there own beliefs and opinions simply because of how delicate a situation it is.
Me and my ex partner had a child at 15 well.. 16 when she was born we did talk about the options but decided not to terminate the child really there is 2 ways it can go
1 You could have the child and yes you will lose out on allot of your own life nut the joy the child can bring into your life is amazing but you can always have this later in life.
As for the father not having a stable background this could mean nothing as I did to but the min my child was born I got it together it wasnt about me. Trust me if you have the child you will not regret it the love is to great.
2 Don't have the child you are just a child yourself and your life wont be over but it will never be the same ever you will have given up so much that you can never have back
you should talk to your parents about it dont take anyone's advice from on here you must make this dission for yourself.
For me I wish things had happend later in my life as we both had to grow up to fast and we have just split up after 11 years good years they were I would never trade any of my days with child for nothing now the love you get and give out ways it all but you dont have that feeling over you yet. You are young and its hard to make that choice you will regret it if you do no matter what but it may be the rite choice. I really feel for you and hope you make the rite choice for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): i was scared to death too by the way but i did it and it was the right decision. being scared is natural.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): I had an abortion and it was definitely a good decision. Y ou don't want to have a baby that young. I was 21 when I had an abortion and I don't regret it a day in my life. Don't listen to these people. If you don't feel ready, it's becasue you aren't. Bringing a child into your life that you don't really want or have prepared for is unfair to you, the father and especially the child. Have the abortion, deal with the emotions that come with it, and move on with your life. Just keep it private. Don't tell anyone your having the abortion. Just your parents and your boyfriend, if you trust him not to tell. The most painful thing I dealt with about the abortion was someone finding out I didn't want to find out. Good luck.
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female
reader, Miss Know-it-all +, writes (25 August 2009):
Keeping the child would not be the end of the world, if you have parents or grandparents, they could babysit. There are many colleges out there that has on-site childcare, meaning you could still get a degree and a decent job. Abortion is scary and terminating a life. If it is against your beliefs, why not put the child up for adoption. There are many couples that can't have children and would love a healthy baby. You could even arrange with the parents to recieve photos of your child as he/she grows up and maybe occaissonal visits??Don't go through with the abortion if you don't want to. Keeping the child would make you feel responible but loved and your life would certainly not be over.Take Care :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): Kiddo, you're in an awful spot. Please talk to your parents, starting with whichever one you have the better relationship with. Whatever you decide, you're going to need support in the next while. Most likely, after an initial bit of wailing, they'll get over their disappointment and support you.
You've had lots of people counsel you against abortion, and their points are valid. It's up to you what you can live with. Please talk to someone in the *real world* -- your mom, an aunt, the mom of a good friend. There must be someone you can trust and confide in. I've known girls who had abortions and were glad, and some who weren't. I've known girls who went through with their pregnancies and gave up the child for adoption, some who were glad and some not. There's just no way strangers on the internet can help you, without knowing *you*, without knowing what real world support you can count on.
For what it's worth, having and keeping the baby is not something I would recommend, but that's not something that you mentioned in your OP.
Forget your boyfriend. He's too young to be of any use to you in this awful situation. Chalk him up as a mistake, and learn from it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): Well, don't have an abortion if you can't morally stomach it.
But please, DO have an abortion if you can.
Two of my teenage friends gave birth to children before they were out of high school. Both of them have told me later than they would have aborted the pregnancy if they could do it over. I believe they both love their kids but real life is just not that simple.
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 Be true to thine ownself. If you don't believe in abortion and you have a choice in this matter, don't do it.
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female
reader, BehindThese HazelEyes +, writes (25 August 2009):
 oh honey i feel for you! PLEASE I BEG YOU-DO NOT HAVE AN ABORTION! its against your beliefs and youll regret in later in life! if you decide to not want to keep the baby, there is adoption, its a beautiful thing.I was in foster care when I was younger and i have 5 siblings that wound up getting adopted...they have loving parents who take great care of them...you also have the choice of open adoption, thats where you get to keep in contact with the adopted parents and maybe even visit the child every once in awhile...and if you do keep the child, i wish you all the best and when you turn 16 you can get a job to help take care of the baby.Good luck and keep us posted!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): I had my first daughter 21 years ago. 3 months after an abortion. I regretted the abortion so much and still do and I tore myself apart until I got pregnant with her. You have the capacity to continue loving the child you carry even if you didn't receive love from your parents. I am now married to a wonderful man, have a good career as an accountant and have a further child. Having a child young made me push open doors I would have shied from before. It in no way stopped me meeting men either. Go to your mum, she may shout but she will help and cry with you. Good luck only you can make the decision.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): well 1st. off do your parents know about you being pregnant? and if your scared that your boyfriend might leave you because of you wanting to have the baby, let him go. guys come and go, and who knows maybe hes not the right guy for you there's A LOT of guys out there but if you really just don't wanna have the baby then do what you think is best for you, and the rest of your life. hope i helped and best of luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): I'm sorry for your terrible situtation. You say you are afraid to have an abortion but it might be the best thing given the circumstances.Look, you are MUCH too young to be having a baby (and if you have been having a sex, why oh why were you not using proper birth control methods?!).If you are scared your boyfriend will leave you, well, LET him go! Doesn't sound like it would be much of a loss......you'd be better off not having him in your life.I understand what you are saying about abortion, but as you also said, there is no way you could raise and support a child. The ONLY alternative would be to go ahead with the pregnancy and THEN immediately put the baby up for adoption, so that he or she would be placed in a loving home with parents who have the desire and means to give him what he needs to grow up strong physically and emotionally healthy.What about your parents? Why aren't you talking to them?I know this is all very, very difficult. It would be good to get counselling to help yourself deal with the turmoil of emotions you'll feel in having an abortion........
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 August 2009):
 If it's against your beliefs, why not placing the baby for adoption. DO NOT DO ANYTHING THAT IS AGAINST WHAT YOU BELIEVE.
With what you've said. Let me tell you about being thankful in the longrun. I'm sure they kept this out as well. Years of depression. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Negative behavior changes. Abnormal view of relationships, sexual activity and a huge amount of guilt if you decide down the road to have a child. I know this because I have counseled post abortion clients. 35 years later, still carrying the guilt and pain from that decision.
I'm not trying to add to your fear, just letting you know the truth from someone who hears the horror stories from those who are where you are now. Having the child and giving up for adoption also has less medical side affects. There is a chance, after an abortion, that you won't be able to become pregnant when you choose to have one.
My birth mom was 15 when I was born. I was adopted, lead a fairly good life. I met her when I was 33. We have a good relationship. I'm grateful she chose the way she did.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): Do not get an abortion!!!!!!!!!Please, don't! YOU WILL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!Even though it seems that it will be easier, you will feel like a murderer. Even people who believe that abortion is right end up feeling this way afterwards. You don' have to keep the baby after you have it. You can put him/her up for adoption. Think about the movie Juno. I garantee you will be happier in the long run.And don't worry what your boyfriend thinks. If he knew about the possibility of becoming a father, it's wrong for him to flake out now. And if he does leave, you know you still did the right thing, and you will find another guy who loves you twice as much who will be glad and agree with your decision to put the baby up for adoption to a family who will love your baby and take very good care of him/her. Please make the right choice. I know you're scared, but God will help you. And you can be sure He's got a family in mind for your baby, whether it be yours or someone elses.
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