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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: well to put a long story short. i have been with my boyfriend since my 14th birthday and i was 15 in may, 17 months i have been in the relationship and for about 9 of it it has been terrible. i have wanted to end it but i cant cos he says if i do i will regret it. he always tells me he needs me, he hits me all the time, punches me, slaps me, kicks me, argues with me for no reason, i cry my self to sleep most times an he sometimes has sex with me when i dont want to. i know he is wrong but im scared to leave him. he always acts normal when he is with other people, he hugs me, kisses me, holds my hand but then when were alone hes like a completely different person. i talk to my friends and theyre all like ohh dont be silly hes lovely. he wunt hurt a fly but theyre wrong and i really dont know what to do about it. does anyone have any advice?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chrissies  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 dear dear friend please don't feel that you don't have any one to support you or believe you.you have just found that person.you need to contact the police they will assist you to the best of YOUR requirements.also child line,ring them.there are also woman's aid on line and phone also victim support.also talk to family, talk to the school of which i believe your still at.this is very very serious and no support will make you feel more frightened than you alreAdy are,if that is possible.i have a range of info for support and advice pleses please do not hesistat to contact me for any of this or just a friend for moral support.i hav been there, don't let him take your live and that is what he is doing psyhically and mentally.your young and he has made you feel so frightened that your even to frightened to leave him and now he also controls you and your mind.but i think you know this ,by taking one step to make a call or get the right help your helping your self to LIVE.SO PLEASE PLEASE MAKE THAT CALL FOR HELP, SERIOUS HELP, NOT ADVICE TO GET YOU AWAY FROM HIM AND TO STAY AWAY AND PUT A STOP TO HIM KILLING YOU OFF.PLEASE KEEP IN TOUCH AND IF NOT PLEASE POST SOME THING ON HERE SO CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR WELL BEING.AND LIKE I SAID DON'T HESISTATE TO GET BACK TO ME FOR JUST A FREIND OR MORE HELP WITH ASSOCITIONS ETC OF HELP FOR YOU.PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOUR LIFE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE. LOTS OF LOVE AND MORE.TRACEY XXXX
A
female
reader, sexygurlchristmas2008  +, writes (6 October 2007):
 hun you should leave him now before it gets worse tell ur parents plz before you end up in the hostpial take care xxxxxoooooo sexygurl christmas bye
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): Ditch this loser quickly, hon. Tell him in no uncertain terms that it is over. He is no good for you. And he does not "love" you. He is using you to take out his own anger on women or everything in general. And if he gives you any more threats, report him to the law. He should get the message. But you have to mean it. Start respecting yoursef! If you don't, who else will?
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female
reader, myp +, writes (6 October 2007):
 Nobody deserves what your being put through!, Never stay with a person who doesnt make you happy, especially one thats abusive. Hes beaten you and raped you, just the fact that your asking for help shows that you know in your heart that this isnt where you want to be. LEAVE HIM!! they always say they love you and they need you when theyve jus put bruises all over you. Thats a manipulation tactic. You need to kick him to the curb immediately, you deserve better than him.message me if you wanna talk :]-Myesha
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female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX +, writes (6 October 2007):
 You need to end that. He has not right to treat you that way. NO ONE DOES!!!Talk to your parents or a family member/Adult friend that you trust. If you must call the cops.You need to do whatever is nessesary to SAFELY remove yourself for this situation before it gets even more out of hand that it already is.Best wishes, and please let us know how it turns out.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 October 2007):
 I am going to tell it to you straight. All though you are a bit younger, forgive me if I don't candy coat this type of behavior for you.
This is an extreme form of controlling abuse. This is not anger, it's control (big difference). Anger is a reaction, control is to maintain order even if not upset at all. The reason he is nice outside, he's exercising his control over you there, then he teaches you a lesson in private to assure you understand that he's in control. This also symbolizes an escalating form. As he feels he may loose a little bit of his control, your private lessons get worse.
To sum it up in not too many words: Your boyfriend is capable of causing you great harm, even killing you.
Just as I can get real firm, you're going to have to as well. When talking to your friends, if they say it doesn't happen, just let them know, "then I guess your not my friend." Turn around, walk away. You want them to recognize your behavior is one of fear, do that and they may believe you.
Aside from your friends, lets get real serious. It's time for the abuse to end. You are too important for this to happen. You have too much going for you to take it. NO ONE has the right to lay their hands on another and hurt them. NO ONE has the right to have sex with you against your will.
When your done reading this take a deep breath and go onto:
www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/92
That is an abuse/violence/rape resource guide. They will be able to direct you to organizations who protect people of violence, and counseling because you will need it after what you've been through.
If you have school, talk to the school, if you're off for the weekend, as we are here, you need to build some strength and involve your parents or your local police department.
I know that's a lot to handle. I need you to really understand this, I would not ask you to take these measures if I didn't feel they were necessary to get you to safety. I involve authorities in extreme circumstances, I don't just jump and make them my first choice.
Please come on here and give us an update. If there are any methods that I haven't mentioned, maybe someone from the U.K. could send you an e-mail and provide you with options as well that they are aware of there.
Take care. I wish you the best of luck.
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female
reader, drastic knowledge +, writes (6 October 2007):
 talk to your mother or someone that is older and more helpful than your friends tell him you are done over the phone and keep away from him much as possible
if he trys anything reach out for help like the police
dont let him get away with this you are too young and just young enough to get out and have a better life without him
good luck
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male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (6 October 2007):
You have low self esteem if you let him do this crap to you. I say send him on his way or you run as fast as you cac. Surely there are many other guys out there that would treat you with the respect you deserve.
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