A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey im just after alittle advice, im 15 i have always been quite popular at school and i have had many boyfriends(not to be big headed) but all my friends have rushed into bed with guys and many of them have slept with 4,5,and 6 boys. they call me strange cos im waiting to be with the right guy before i sleep with him and i want it to be an enjoyable experience. is this wrong. i feel i am the only virgin. it doesnt bother me but wh are other girls saying this. what do you think please?? xx
View related questions:
still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2007): heres one for you hun no sense in saying dont do it but you want to respect yourself do it for the right reasons not because someone asked you to or feels you should your first time will be your life time memory why want to grow up and mature so quickly be surpriced how many of us if we had a second had a second chance back then to do what we know now question is would we have common sense telling us back then we wanted to so we did today most will tell you if we had done it for all the right reasons we would have enjoyed it or not done it at all at that age dont level your self to thier levels be smart know what you want of yourself you will have that experience soon enuff till then do it for the right reasons
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): I am just one year older than you and I have a lot of respect for what your doing. No your not wrong. Your doing the right thing. I am doing the same thing. Hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): you should be proud that you still have your virginity and you value it as highly as you do! the other girls are probably just jealous cos they are all slags and are annoyed with themselves that they didn't wait for "the one" :)
good luck in finding him x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): well i think that if ur ready and u know that ur are making a right decision. but no one is never ready and just because all the other gurls are sleeping around doesnt make them any popular.but a popular (door knob)meaning everyone gets to try. if i were you be glad that u have something no one can get twice.
...............................
A
male
reader, DrCynic  +, writes (14 April 2007):
 Gee, you feel old under the age of consent... I'll be 20 next year and I'm a virgin still...
You're not the only one, sweetheart... Just wait until you're ready and "legal".
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): Firstly it is illegal for you to have sex until you are 16 and don't worry, you aren't the only girl at 15 that is still a virgin, many lose it years later than the legal age of 16. By saving your virginity you are making your first time seem more special. Don't worry, your mates will probably regret losing it too early.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (13 April 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
I was just like you in high school. I was popular and had boyfriends and everything, but I didn't want to have sex. I just wasn't ready and I kinda wanted to hold out for someone special. I didn't want to wait until marriage, but until I found a really great guy who I knew was for real and genuinely liked me for just ME.
All my friends were hopping into bed with whoever and I felt just like you - totally left out. They'd ask me why I was waiting and tease me about being a virgin. It felt really crappy, all though I don't think they meant to make me feelthat way. Finally, I ended up losing my virginity at 19, with the right guy (still with him today) and GOD, I'm so glad I waited. All my friends are still sleeping around and pretty miserable, to tell you the truth.
I assure you, you will end up the happiest out of all your friends in the long run. I think you're being really responsible, level-headed and mature about the whole thing. Besides, your friends are really putting themselves at risk. Even if they are using contraception, accidents can still happen. They could get an STI or get pregnant! There's ALWAYS that chance if you're having sex. You... you don't have to worry about any of that, and that is awesome.
Have fun hanging out with your friends and enjoying your youth. You have the rest of your life to have sex, why rush it? I think you're pretty awesome for holding out for the right guy and believe me, the wait will be worth it.
You are awesome, sweetness. YOU GO GIRL.
xxIndia
...............................
A
female
reader, billy b +, writes (13 April 2007):
Hello,
Please, please trust your own feelings about this. No offence but you and the boys you are dating are still very young to be contemplating sex. Obviously its something knew and understandably you don't want to be left out from your other peers, and feel like the strange odd one out. Believe me when i say alot of your so called boastful friends are either lying that they have slept with all these boys, or they secretly envy you for having a sensible head on your shoulders, and listen to what suits you, rather than what seems the cool thing to do.
I waited until i was 19yrs old to have sex, and it was with my first love, after we had been dating for a year. All i mean is only you can decide when you are ready to be as intimate with a boy, and believe me you will always remeber your first time for the rest of your life. So make sure its a good experience with someone you trust and care about, who are able and old enough to treat you with the care and respect you deserve. you have all the time in the world to enjoy being sexually active with a partner that you are committed to. in the meantime focus on enjoying your time with dating and having fun. Believe me when i say if you decide to go against your own principles and sleep with someone to get your viginity out the way i am sure you could end up feeling that sex is far from just a bit of fun. When you are older and hopefully at the legal age of consent, you will understand that sex isn't a hobbie, it involves emotions, and the possible consequence of getting preqnaunt and the responsibility that entails. Please take care of your lovely self, and enjoy a more relaxed approach to losing your virginity. If your friends are really worth the while they will respect your decision to wait when you feel ready, and prepared with contraception also taken into account. Also if a boy truly has feelings for you he wont pressure you into anything you want to do. hope all this advice. x x
...............................
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (13 April 2007):
 You're not the only virgin. Don't give into peer pressure (and that's what's going on here). When you do make love, it will be worth the wait. (Making love is a lot more fun than having sex, especially when having sex can trash your relationship.)
If you have sex too soon, you'll never know whether they guy is with you because he likes YOU, or because he likes the sex. Stick to your guns, you're doing the right thing.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr. Mark  +, writes (13 April 2007):
You have lots of time. You have made a very good decision, because it is YOUR decision. Just don't be overy judgemental of them. Your decision is your own, but you don't need to broadcast it either. Continue to be yourself, and follow your own moral compass. Eventually, most of your friends will come to respect you. Some of them might even secretly envy you. They will someday.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (13 April 2007):
 This reminds me of a Mom-ism that I heard growing up... "and if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?". You are a very smart young woman with her head on her shoulders. I always dreaded running into boys I had kissed in the hallways after we had split. I certainly can't imagine running into 4 or 5 guys who had seen me naked, talking smack about me (and you KNOW most high school boys talk). That movie "Clueless" had the best line - "High school boys, As If! I'm fussy about the shoes that I wear, and THEY only go on my Feet!!!". You should wait for someone who loves and respects you, you'll know if he's the right guy for you because you won't question your own judgement when it IS right. Your friends all have their own ideas and have already taken the plunge, but they just want you to do it cause they have. Frankly, it's none of their business, it's not their place to tell you what to do with your body and they only want someone else to be in the same situation as they are - worrying about the last guy they slept with, complaining about how they are being treated by him and flirting with the next guy. It's far more normal to be choosy as a female, after all, the whole point of sex is to make babies. You are the one who would have to deal with the consequences if your choice of birth control failed (and please take precautions and practice safe sex - condoms - when you do become active). If every girl looked at the guy she was going to sleep with and said to herself, "Would I want to raise a child with this man and would he be a good father?", it would certainly stop a few people from making mistakes that they will regret later - in one way or another. To be quite frank with you, it takes a while in a new relationship for a young girl to enjoy sex, so you need to be with someone that will invest some time in getting to know you and I think it is important to have love and respect for each other. You have your own moral code, don't let other people talk you out of what you believe in. GOOD FOR YOU. I hope you don't mind my saying - I'm proud of you.
...............................
A
female
reader, xkazx89 +, writes (13 April 2007):
your 15! your friends are probably not all tellign the truth
your under age but that doesnt matter to us teens now most people have under age sex and regret it.
i only lost my vaginity when i was 16 i dotn regret it as i was with my bf for 5 months before we did anything
you mustnt do anything or be forced into anything until you are totally ready and it will be so much better if you love this person rather than just someone you barely know
hope i helped x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2007): let me start off by saying you are smart, sex isnt about sleeping with as many people as possible, its meant to be specail im 16 almost 17 and i decided that im not having sex until im marrried, you will never forget your first time, kind of like the first time you rode a bike without training wheels or tied your shoes on your own, make it a memory worth looking back on.
...............................
A
female
reader, eï? Sophie eï? +, writes (13 April 2007):
 Hi
omg i feel the same way as you! Im 16 and i havent slept with anyone yet just because i dont feel ready and i want to be in a relationship first with a boy i really like and who i can trust. Alot of my friends have slept with 4/5/6 boys but i find this quite sick because alot of them starting sleeping with boys at 14. I know this makes me feel abit strange and left out sometimes but i see these girls as dirty and who dont have any respect for themselves, they need to know the boys they slept with are just using them. Although i have friends who are in a steady relationship who slept with their b/fs after a few months i do actually agree with that
...............................
|
