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female
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*adlyinLove624
writes: Lets start off with the fact that i'm 15. the guy i like is 25... and if thats not a big enough deal, he's my cousin's ex-husband. Jis brother is dating my sister, so we started hanging out alot. and before we knew it, we fell for eachother. the rest of my family found out, and now the police are involved. but i can't bring myself to end it. the relationship we have is amazing, and i'm willing to sacrifice just about anything to keep us together. and i kno alot of you think i'm just some silly young girl, but through this entire experience (going on about 8 months now) i've matured A LOT! and i just need help on how to keep my love life on the down low and away from family. because if i don't, he'll go to jail. please send ANY advice.this isn't just some crush.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): WoW, well in my opinion i think 25 is a bit too old for you..but im not gonna say anything because it seems like you really love this guy. but i think you guys should keep it on the down.low ..say ut hangin out wid some friends.. will ur parents let u out thhat way? that way u meet up with him...but hes 25 there are consiquences..are you guys having sex..?? ii hope ur not..but if u did well uhh i duno wat to say.. right now im worried im pregnant and im 15 too...im dating a 19 year old..i love him with more then words could explain..we jus get along together so well...ii wouldnt wish the worry i hav of being pregnant on ne one at this age.. plz dont make the mistake i did..im not regretting having sex because it was with sum1 special but im jus scared im pregnant..
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): This is confusing as i have no idea whether this is an american or uk website lol just go by what the law states, i.e. wait until you're 16, or 18, depending from where you're from. Respect your families wishes until you're legal to have a relationship with this person, i dont mean stop talking to him, just cool it down, and give your parents a chance to realise that it could be serious.
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male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (27 November 2006):
 I am with Martini on this one. Most of you are saying this guy is a pedo as she is only 15. She wont be 15 forever, so will you all still class him this way when she turns 16, 17, 18, 19?.
I met my fiancee when she was only 15, we got on great and remained good friends. Things stayed that way and our relationship blossomed. I have been in many relationships with girls my own age. Now my fiancee is 17 and I am almost 30. I have never been happier in my life. We were in a loving relationship long before sex was even discussed. Even kissing and cuddling was a no-go until she was 16. Why do most people assume that relationships of this nature are based around sex? She has stated that there will be NO sex until they are married. Surely this guy is genuinely interested in her if he is willing to wait for marriage.
As for your ignorant parents, I am sure this guy will soon prove his intentions to them. Who knows, they may even eventually like him. He obviously makes you happy, that can't be a bad thing..surely.
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female
reader, megSTAR +, writes (27 November 2006):
whoa chika.
slow your role. thats a crime. but um if your serious about this guy- try talking to your parents. although i think you should grow up a little more before getting really serious with him...creep
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Hello child!!! I don't know if you believe in God at all, but what the 2 of you are doing has a name called "SIN" You are only looking at this from a legal point of view, but you forgot to look at how much harm you are both doing. You are too young to know what it takes to raise a child and how hard it is. I'm sure that your parents have problems of their own and now on top of it all they have to deal with this stupid love affair that you have started with a man that you should have never even looked at with eyes other that as your cousin's husband. Is he even divorced for real? Have you seen the court papers that declare the marriage over and is it signed by a judge with court stamps and everything? He is probably still married and if that is the case then try to look into your future and what you will find is a man that will never be faithful to you because he could not be faithful to his wife either. Ask God to help you make the right choice. Much love !!!
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female
reader, MadlyinLove624 +, writes (27 November 2006):
MadlyinLove624 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you to everyone who answered... We're both not sure what we will do about all this just yet. but just so you guys know, i've already made a covent to wait until marriage before i have sex, so NONE of that is going on. and to me that just proves he really cares about me, because he totally understands.
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reader, Terrie-Anne +, writes (27 November 2006):
You are 15 years old you should be thinking of you're future.If you are serious about this guy.Take in the advise your family gives you and be carefull of what you do. Use protection and think things over first. You are still a young lady and you need to slow down on the relationship if it gets too heavy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): The sort of nonsense one "Auntie" provided on this thread has gotten adult male boy friends of underaged girls (where I live) successfully prosecuted on criminal charges by the States Attorney's office. Oh, the States Attorney might rather prosecute other crimes than underaged relationships, but when pressed by relatives of an under aged girl, they will do so. And when the age difference is ten years (15-25), the sentence is not probation with a mere posting of the offenders photo on the state police website and restrictions as to where he may reside during a set period of time. So, to the 15 year old who posted this thread, check, check, check, and double check the law before following any advice posted here (especially advice that tells you that having a relationship with someone 166% of your age is not only okay, but also legal). Face it, any 25 year old having a relationship with a 15 year old is a sick individual.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): Oh and to back up my points: http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): First of all, a 25 year old dating a 15 year old IS NOT illegal. Having a 25 year old fall for a 15 year old DOES NOT make him a pedophile - exactly like that fool of a man who killed the 21 year old guy cuz he had an intimate relationship with a 16 year old girl. What makes a pedophile is when a much older person goes after a much younger person to have sex with, possibly some form of non-penetrative sexual activity - eg: a 30 year old and a 13 year old, unless their mental differences aren't much apart - rare case, but not impossible.
Yes, the 25 year old bf is attributing to your life in a negative way. Yes, many people here, or actually everyone here thus far thinks he shouldn't even try to put you in this situation, yaddi yadda.
First and foremost, it isn't bad what they are doing. If it makes a 25 year old man a pedo because he dates a 15 year old girl, then what makes a 90 year old man if he dates a 25 year old woman? Does that make him a freak of society?
Second, like I said, you two aren't doing anything sexual are you? In Canada, the legal age minimum is 14, but the legal age minimum in South Carolina in the US is 14, but 16 in most other states, and some 17 and 18. So if people strictly base it on law, for a guy at 25 to be involved with a girl at 15 intimately in SC, does that mean he's not a pedo, but is considered on in another state?
Doesn't make sense now does it?
Anyway, as far as what you wish to do and how far you want to take it, I really suggest that you two hold off on sex until the laws allow u to do it rightly. As far as dating, there isn't anything wrong with it. So how to deal with the parents? First, they have to stop being ignorant and listen to you. How do you make them listen to you? Let everything calm down, and possibly bring it up with them at a time when you think u can get it through to their heads.
What you have to talk about is where you want the relationship to go. What you want from the relationship, and how you two are going to go on about this for now. It's about trust between u and your parents, and also don't forget that it's mutual respect between u and your bf.
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reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (26 November 2006):
 If he loved you as much as he claims, he would not put you in such a situation, but the bottom line is he is a paedophile who is only in it for himself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): What you're doing can and has been done by others (my daughter's college roomate was also 15 and had a 25 year old bf), but I would think that your family is doing right by you to bring an end to the relationship. Whether you can understand this (now) or not, it is not normal for a 25 year old adult to have a relationship with a 15 year old. My fear is that he has set no limits as to what he will do for self gratification. And so, just what would the future hold? After all, you are only 15 once. How do you know that you'll hold any attraction for Mr. Pedophile once you've even made it to your junior year of high school (let alone to have matriculated)? Face it, your 25 year old lover is a criminal of the worst sort. He preys on children. The question for you is this: Just how young a child would he have to take as his lover for you to find his actions despicable (think about it, because for all that love you...you are that young right now, and for your family your cousin's ex-husband's actions are despicable, criminal, and unforgiveable).
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2006): There's nothing mature about trying to hide your relationship. There are a number of things wrong here.
If this man really loved you as you believe, he would not be getting you into this situation. Look what the relationship is doing to you both: he may go to jail, your family is upset, and you are burdened with the huge responsibility of hiding a relationship from your family.
If he were a mature and responsible man, he would end it now and pick it up again in three years. The fact that he's even letting you take it this far speaks of his character tremendously.
I don't think you're a silly young girl, just a young girl caught up in a bad situation.
Please end it now. When you're 18 and he's 28, it will be a different story.
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reader, jaynehaigh +, writes (26 November 2006):
I know it will be really difficult but I think the only way you can protect your man from going to jail is by staying away from him until you are 16. Once you are of consenting age no-one will be able to do anything about it. And if he truly loves you he will know that this is the sensible thing for you both to do and wait. Please spare a thought for your parents in all of this - they are only trying to protect you and do what they think is best. At the end of the day you are their responsibility until you are 16 so they are doing the right thing there are no two ways about that. Don't give them a hard time. Tell them how you feel and you understand their point of view and for that reason you will stop seeing him until you are 16. Good luck with everything and please keep us posted.
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