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female
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*.BrokenxHearts.x
writes:Okay, I have this problem where I over-analyse every situation. I just think too much. Like theres this guy I've fallen in love with were not together though and I'm pretty sure he likes me too well I say i'm pretty sure what I really mean is I KNOW he does. Both of us are too scared to make a move because we both don't know how the other will react. When were not together and I get to thinking way too much I always think "No, he doesn't like me why would he?" it's not that I have a problem with myself of anything and I don't think he's too good for me it's just when I get to thinking about it it just doesn't seem to fit into place and I doubt everything we have. Can someone help and tell me how I can stop doing this it's driving me insane.-xXx- Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006):
To me it doesnt sound like over-analyzing- that would be if you continued the analyse process after you had worked out a decision.
It sounds like you are investing energy in imagining all the possible negative outcomes. You are too scared to make a move because you are thinking that telling someone you like them and trying to percipitate a closer relationship is somehow going to end badly. Possible, but not likely.
This is where you need to be *more* analytical. You essentially need to convince yourself that you can safely take the steps that will move you closer to happiness. Assign a probibility to these things "what happens if I say I love him" "will he respond negativly if I say I like him" "would I really bolt if after he told I joke I said 'you really are a great guy'?".
You may want to pick up a copy of the book "Learned Optimism". If you assign too much weight to possible negative outcomes and too little to positive outcomes all the logic in the world wont help you reason your way to happiness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Are you a teenager?
It's part of your role in society to over-analyse. It's something that comes with the gift of youthfulness, use it well. It's used a means to form opinion and judgement on people, relationships and how the world works. There is nothing wrong with you. Embrace it, do not fear it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Why don't you ask him out for coffee or lunch and see what he says? If he does like you he'll want to meet.
In any case, if you're not dating him, you only THINK you love him -- otherwise it would be more accurate to say what you feel is infatuation. Loving someone takes time!
Its easy to over-analyze and you can talk yourself into and out of just about anything by doing that. When you feel yourself getting in too deep, stop and turn your attention to something else!
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