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I'm 14, my girlfriend is 15 and pregnant, we need some advice please.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 April 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *meelover11366 writes:

Hi i'm 14 and my girlfreind (15) is pregnant. We havn't told our parents because we're worried about how they will react. We don't know what we should do but we are definitely keeping the baby. Help us, what should we do?????

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009):

Well man i was Actually in the Positen as you. I basically did what these poeple ahead of me did. gotta come clean with it. And yes it was avtually the same age. I was fxing to turn 14 and she was 14. and yes. i Used a Condum , but she got pregnet. Well im 15 now and ive got a 2 year old Son named Jake. Im working about 7.50$ an hour. We just have enough to keep our kid. I was disapointed about what happened. But man , Ur Parenst will Suport u in everyway. They were Amazed that i even had sex and didnt find out but , Now we got help from both family's. And Man. You just gotta get ur life gown and it will help alot!

Good Luck my freind. I did it well u can do it too!

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A female reader, Temerity United States +, writes (7 April 2008):

Definitely tell both of your parents and soon. It shows maturity and it's respectable. If you tell both sets of parents at the same time, I'm sure it would be less likely that any say anything unappropriate, that they would regret later. It's scary at first. I was 17 when I first got pregnant, and just flat out told my mom "I'm going to have a baby." She was shocked, then later extremely excited. Same with his mom too. I had a teacher to tell me that "we're going to have a baby" is a better way of saying it than,say, "we're pregnant.." I'm unsure why, but.. yeah.

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A male reader, agtorange United States +, writes (7 April 2008):

agtorange agony auntTell your parents, do it together, that'll show you're being mature about it.

There's no point in hiding it from your folks, soon enough they'll notice.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008):

You are gonna have to tell them sometime.

They are gonna be shitting bricks at first, but don't let them talk you into and abortion if you are trully serious about keeping it.

You are in a difficult situation here. You are either gonna have to require the help and support of both families financially, at least until you finish school and can get a job that provides enough money for a family, or you can skip out on school now and get a job. This latter one could be difficult because at your age, no job you can get will give nearly enough money to provide for a kid.

Adoption is always an option, better to give the kid to someone who could gve it the love and finanical support you can't then let it live without opportunity. There will come a day that the kid will come and find YOU, so you'd need to be ready for that and for the uncomfortable talk about why you gave he/she up.

But far from all of this, abortion should be a last resort and only if the baby will be stillborn anyway, or so physically retarded that they have no semblance of a chance at a decent life of anything but ridicule and pain.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, MissKin United Kingdom +, writes (6 April 2008):

MissKin agony auntYou're keeping the baby. you've already made the hardest decision. You can't hide it from your parents. The next step is to tell them, regardless of what they say and do you can't hide it from them. If they're there for you then good if not then too bad, but different parents react in different ways.

I suggest telling both sets of parents at the same time with both you and your girlfriend present. You'll need the support from each other to do this.

Be prepared for whatever may come your way but make sure you stick together to help each other through whatever comes.

Make sure you think through the decision to be parents as well.it's a huge step for someone my age, and i'm 18, it's a gigantic thing for someone your age. Talk to your parents. And do it sooner rather than later. It doesn't matter how long you procrastinate, it'll be harder later than it is now.

Once you tell your parents you won't be feeling so alone and you will have someone to help you and talk things through with you once the initial reaction wears off.

So my only advice is to talk to your parents and take it step by step from there. Don't delay it though. You need to make some vital decisions soon and get your head straightened out. This will be made harder by waiting.

Good luck.

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