A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and recently he's been wanting more from me. I'm only 14 and he's asked me for sex, he is the same age too. I like him but I'm scared he's using me for sex or just too look good. I'm really worried in-case he ends up hurting me what do i do? please help me :( Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank-you for your help everyone, but a few weeks ago he slept with someone as well. So i'm going to dump him anyway. I will wait a few years as I am not ready now, i didn't want to but its hard because I've heared stories of how far girls have gotten around my school. But I dont want to be like them. And i wont be. im not going to have sex with anyone until I feel ready or with someone i love
A
female
reader, aAoa  +, writes (14 March 2011):
at 14 he's just using you for sex trust us all... and at 14 it will not feel good at all... it's gonna be a regret you will have to live with.. so tell your bf a firm - NO. if he loves you- really loves you- he will understand
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A
male
reader, Remniscent  +, writes (14 March 2011):
Listen to me: before you even think about having sex, consider the consequences: all of them. I'd say the most important thing is pregnancy. If your boyfriend only wants your body, then dump him! Wait until you're ready, beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know you aren't completely ready, because your posting this question. Remember that you have decades ahead of you to have sex, so don't rush!
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (13 March 2011):
 If you're not ready for sex, then don't do it. More than that, it's crucial to remember that at 14 it'd be illegal for you to have sex!
You clearly like your boyfriend, so I understand that it's difficult for you not to give in to him. But in the long-run, having sex when you have so many doubts especially regarding your boyfriend's intentions could end up in you seriously regretting it. So if you're unsure, don't do it. If your boyfriend is mature, understanding and genuinely likes you, he should respect that.
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A
female
reader, lush2010 +, writes (13 March 2011):
Do not do anything until you are totally comfortable.
Sex at 14 is really too young ... please dont feel pressures by your boyfriend. If he doesnt respect your wishes, then you should dump him.
Most girls dont start having sex until their very late teens. So you really are far too young. YOur body still needs to develop and you need to be stronger emotionally.
If you honestly feel your boyfriend is using you - then stand up for yourself and dump him.
Wouldnt you rather look back on your first time, as something special than knowing that you gave it up to a boy that doenst love you?
be strong and save yourself for a boy thats worth it - and please wait until your ready and a few years older.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): First of all, you're too young to be thinking about sex - let alone to be having it. I'd say you're too young to be in a relationship but I'm going to give your guardians the benefit of the doubt and assume they know what they're doing.Here's some advice for this relationship and for any other relationship you'll have in your lifetime - If you're not ready for sex or you simply don't want to, don't. Let your boyfriend know. If he can't respect that, he can leave the same way he came in. You're number one concern should be to protect yourself. So, if you truly think that your boyfriend might be using you for sex then you need to handle the situation (IE break up with him). Always trust your gut. It will let you know when the relationship is wrong and more importantly, when the relationship is right.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): I can tell by the way you write and that you asked this queston that you are a sensible, clever girl. You know what you must do. You are:
1: BOTH under the age of consent
2: Unsure and worried about having sex
3: Being pressured into a sexual relationship (this might apply to both of you - especially if your boyfriend has had his friends ask him about how 'far' he's got with you.
Believe me when I say that I know exactly what sort of situation you are in. I experienced the same thing. I was younger than you though, I was only 13 years old when my boyfriend asked me for sex. He was 15 (both still under the age of consent).
We were very close to actually doing it when his mum caught us in the act. I am forever grateful to her as she was actually very understanding (even though she was firm with us and told us off - a LOT haha) But she saved me from something that I had no idea about. I was liked my boyfriend alot, but I soon realised that he was just interested in me for what I could physically give him.
This may not be the case with you and your boyfriend - he may actually care for you. But believe me when I say this: You really don't want to have sex yet. Being only 14 years old it could be very painful, unromantic, uncomfortable and worst of all you will lose your virginity to a guy that you most likely (I am sorry but it's the truth) not be with in a few months/years time. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month after the incident. I loved him I did - but we were definitely not soulmates. And we both decided that what we has done was a mistake.
Anywa, I hope that you pay attention to my advice. I hope I've not been too harsh with the facts, I just want to make sure that you wont do something that'll you'll regret.
=) I wish you all happiness, but please trust me.
Kazza,
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): I can tell by the way you write and that you asked this queston that you are a sensible, clever girl. You know what you must do. You are:1: BOTH under the age of consent2: Unsure and worried about having sex3: Being pressured into a sexual relationship (this might apply to both of you - especially if your boyfriend has had his friends ask him about how 'far' he's got with you.Believe me when I say that I know exactly what sort of situation you are in. I experienced the same thing. I was younger than you though, I was only 13 years old when my boyfriend asked me for sex. He was 15 (both still under the age of consent). We were very close to actually doing it when his mum caught us in the act. I am forever grateful to her as she was actually very understanding (even though she was firm with us and told us off - a LOT haha) But she saved me from something that I had no idea about. I was liked my boyfriend a lot, but I soon realised that he was just interested in me for what I could physically give him.This may not be the case with you and your boyfriend - he may actually care for you. But believe me when I say this: You really don't want to have sex yet. Being only 14 years old it could be very painful, unromantic, uncomfortable and worst of all you will lose your virginity to a guy that you most likely (I am sorry but it's the truth) not be with in a few months/years time. I broke up with my boyfriend about a month after the incident. I loved him I did - but we were definitely not soulmates. And we both decided that what we has done was a mistake.Anyway, I hope that you pay attention to my advice. I hope I've not been too harsh with the facts, I just want to make sure that you wont do something that'll you'll regret.=) I wish you all happiness, but please trust me.Kazza,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Hi there hun :)
Just so you know of my understanding, it appears to me that through writing this question, you are not at all comfortable or happy in your relationship; that fact is as clear as crystal. My question to YOU would be: why are you wanting to be with somebody who is so controlling and makes you feel this way?
Be strong! Say No to him if it is against your wishes (which I'm positive you will appreciate more in the long-term)
You have the rest of your life to be harboured with adult problems. Yes, you are a teenager, but enjoy what you have whilst you have it without being thrown in so deep. Alot more respect would be held for you, too, whether that be your own self pride, or through your future partners.
I am thankful that you included the fact that your boyfriend is also 14 - a reminder is to say that any sexual act under the age of 16 in the U.K is against the Law.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Hi there hun :)Just so you know of my understanding, it appears to me that through writing this question, you are not at all comfortable or happy in your relationship; that fact is as clear as crystal. My question to YOU would be: why are you wanting to be with somebody who is so controlling and makes you feel this way?Be strong! Say No to him if it is against your wishes (which I'm positive you will appreciate more in the long-term)You have the rest of your life to be harboured with adult problems. Yes, you are a teenager, but enjoy what you have whilst you have it without being thrown in so deep. A lot more respect would be held for you, too, whether that be your own self pride, or through your future partners.I am thankful that you included the fact that your boyfriend is also 14 - a reminder is to say that any sexual act under the age of 16 in the U.K is against the Law.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Apart from the fact that you are under age, at 14 you''re not ready for sex, your body isn't ready.
Learn to trust your gut, if you're thinking things trust them. Tell him no, and wait until you are not worried if the guy you want to sleep with is using you and you might get hurt wait until you trust them.
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A
female
reader, ellaaa +, writes (13 March 2011):
If you're not ready then tell him, and if you're not sure then don't go through with it.If you mean that much to him he'll respect your decision, also you could try talking to him about it all and see what he says. But don't get pressured into something you don't want to do :)Hope this helps:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Just say you are not ready. You are too young really. If he gets upset about it then he is not with you for the right reasons. Basically wait until you are a couple of years older and not pressured by a boyfriend. It should be mutual. You have so much time ahead of you, believe me. Wait a bit.
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