A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Guy i'm in a bind. I really really need some help right now. I'm having some problems with my boyfriend of 4 years. He asked me to marry him a few months back and we were really happy at first. Now I feel like he doesn't love me for me just for my body. Like i'm a sex doll to him and not his fiance. He says he loves me and yes he wants sex all the time but he doesn't know why. He doesn't play with me anymore, he doesn't cuddly anymore and it's now he is either asking for sex, or talking about wanting me sexually. What do I do? I have tried talking to him but he doesn't seem to get it. One reason he gave me was that he is 21 and in his prime so of course he was going to want sex, but i have a guy i consider a brother who is two days younger than my BF and he doesn't act that way. IDK what to do anymore. He even so far as telling me he doesn't like to cuddle at all when he used to love nothing more than cuddling with me. I'm so lost and hurting. what do I do? What is wrong with my guy and why is he all of a sudden acting like this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt does and yeah we have talked about it several times. I'm just so confused. He says he has my love and me, now all he wants is sex. That doesn't make sense to me. He has changed so drastically in the past year it is crazy. Used to if i said no it was no. there was no begging or trying or anything. It was no that was the end. No he begs and pleads and i don't know what to do. It breaks my heart to tell him no, but if it hurts or i don't want it I tell him, and he doesn't seem to get it.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 Have you talked to him in these past few days about it? Does he know that this whole thing is threatening your relationship? He needs to learn proper self-control so he can make you happy and in so doing, he can be happy as well. He does care about you on some level, of that I am certain. He just needs to practice a certain amount of abstinence and self-control. Otherwise, there will always be that phantasm of a possibility, doubts. What if he does cheat one day because he wants sex so badly? In his mind it is partially justified because he is "21 and in his prime".
I understand he has a high sex drive but that should not stop him from practicing restraint and that should not be the reason for his immature attitude when faced with rejection.
I hope that helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe hasn't taken me to dinner recently. We used to always go out on dates and now we barley see each other. He won't cuddle and when he does try to it always ends up turning sexual. I tell him no when i don't want it and he gets angry and upset and goes home mad. Then i don't hear from him for a while. I remember at one point we were talking about him wanting sex all the time and he had said he thought about cheating. That hurt and i started to cry. It was at least the truth and i was happy for it, but it still hurt. He kissed my tears away and said they tasted sweet. That confused me and all of my friends we have NEVER heard of a guy doing that. Only read it in stories.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (14 March 2011):
I think he does still love you, it may just be this one persistent urge plaguing this relationship. What about the other aspects of your relationship? Does he at least take you out to dinner occasionally?
He tries at least right? He tries to just keep cuddling with you. Is it possible that he has a problem? An addiction perhaps? It seems as though he is very tempted to leave you just so he can fulfill his sexual desires but it is also quite apparent that he is trying to fight it. Is that possible? I can after all, only venture a guess but that is the impression I got. If not an addiction, I am afraid that he has just changed. In which case, I advise you to leave him. Still, you should talk to him before you do, make sure you have expressed all that you can.
I hope that helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat makes sense. He doesn't seem to know why he always wants sex or if he really wants me. I have talked to a friend but he didn't make much sense. Like he thinks my man has fallen out of love with me but is in denial about it and idk what to do. There are times he tries to fix things but then a little while later it is like we fall back to where we started. He has said that he has thought of cheating but didn't and he has wondered if there were better people out there for us. He has thought about breaking it off and seeing new people but he isn't sure if that is what he wants. He doesn't cuddle anymore, he doesn't foreplay anymore, i can't get him to do anything he used to. He says he wants to lay with me in his arms but he always ends up bringing up sex, or trying to get me to have sex with him. Idk what happened to him.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (14 March 2011):
I am afraid it may be time to end it. Perhaps this is just a phase he is going through. He mentioned being twenty-one and whilst his reasons for his sexual desires are far from justified, his own thought process may have led him down a cruel path.
You may have lost the man you fell in love with a long time ago because this one is either too naive to hear you or too hesitant but you have to let him know that you were happy with him before when you would be there with you, not physically but emotionally, he was there next to you. Now he is just a fading soul upon your body. Maybe it would be best to end it or at least, take a break so he can look at what he is doing and who he has become to you, the woman he once sincerely claimed to love.
I hope that helps.
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