A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi im 14 and considering having sex for the 1st time the thing is im really scared ive talked to my mum she told me that il enjoy it more if i wait and if i really like the guy i do it with. i think shes only saying this to prevent me from having sex so young as my aunt fell pregnant at the age of 14 i would like to wait a while longer but my friends said the longer i wait the sorer it will be.i need your help!racheal x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, carolofthebells  +, writes (25 November 2010):
honey i'm 14 too and let me tell you that your friends are LYING.i'm a virgin too but i know that what your mom is telling you is the truth. my mom has told me the same thing. and i talked to my experienced friend and she says that it hurts the first time for some people no matter how old you are.oh and trust me it doesnt hurt the older you get like if you were 12 and havent started your period it would hurt. or even if you havent started you period yet it will hurt no matter how old you are. but you should probably wait it's just a good idea. you might think your ready but your really not.i thought i was ready but i thought it through and...i'm waiting. but it's your choice.LISTEN! if u choose to have sex, you will loose something u can never get back your virginity your innosence it's the one thing only a man can steal form you. but if u do choose to use a condom.you can't always rely on the pill. and it don't protect u from std's good luck with ur choice:)
A
male
reader, bman-95 +, writes (25 April 2009):
as ive written to other girls i have had sex to. im 14 but then a month later she dumped me so dont take this lightly.really think it threw and if u want to talk im here for u.im a guy so u know.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): im 14 aswell and had sex for the first time about 1 week ago and i was really scared. it didnt hurt that much atall though at times it did a little. if you feel your not ready then wait dont feel presured. youll know when your ready. good luck :Dx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2008): I'm in my later 20s now. I've known tons of girls who had sex in their teens. But when I hear about first times from the girls who started when they were like 14 or 15, probably every single one of them looks back on it and says some comment like "I kind of wish I'd waited until later." And probably at least half of the girls doing it older than 14 and 15 still say they're not happy about their first times because of who they chose to do it with.
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female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (5 June 2008):
 By nature we don't want to believe what our Mother's say, out of fear she is being too strict.
However, from what you said, I agree.
I had the chance to have sex at 14 and didn't. Not for any reason other than I felt like a kid playing at an adult's game. It didn't feel right. That was my thoughts at the time, especially as we didn't know eachother well.
Plus being 14 or 15 you are too young and it is illegal.
So I believe in waiting till you are older like 18, and wait until you have been with the person for a month or two. It is the closest you can get to somebody, and for your first time, like anything else you will be nervous and vulnerable.
I am reading this long after the post, so I hope you are OK.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): im 14 to well this guy i like we have been talking about sex and what were gonna do to each other at the movies. Im a little scared but i also cant wait, well what im tryin to say is if you think ur ready go head
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Hi im about to have sex with a 15 year old at our school dance, personally i think it depends on your lifestyle- im a party guy, reckless, guitarest, ect. I have already made this my life. but if your a calm person, it will change your life. Its all up to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2008): hi..i'm 14 too! me and my bf are damn serious with each other. We've spoken many times about sex. We feel that's a way to emotionally express our love and get closer. Hes 17.. and we are very serious. But we havnt had sex yet! I try to control myself and keep my limits. I guess everyone gets spoiled at this age only. But as girls we should learn to keep our self safe because this small mistake can spoil our whole life!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): NO WAY!!! TOO YOUNG!! Let me tell you, I had sex when I was 15 and I had a baby at age 16. I had to drop out of school and I hated my life. Luckily, I am now married and have three kids and a wonderful husband, but if I could go back in time, I WOULD!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): hey, i just read your comment now.
Im 14 too, i think it's easier talking to kids rather than adults.
Ive been out with many guys too, when we makeout i have these urges to go futher, but i think is it really worth it?
i know you love him, and he loves you back but if he was a real bofriend to you you and him would be able to see that u can express your feelings without having to use intercourse.
listen 2 ur mothers instincts.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2007): Hello, personally, i think you should wait too, im 14 too and my friend (who is also 14) has already gotten a girl pregnant, in which will do more harm over time, but if you decide to. use protection. be safe then sorry, dont end up like my friend.
Peace.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): I would definitely say wait. And just so you know, your friends have no idea what they are talking about. In fact, it will hurt more when you are younger, because you are not fully developed in that region yet. Just wait, wait till your 16-18, and remember, ALWAYS use protection. :]
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): wait until your older. if you have sex to young you will definatly regret it. what your friends say is rubbish. my friends are always talkig about having sex but talk is all it is. none of them really would yet. wait. it will be worth it.
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female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (24 July 2007):
 I think your mom is right you know.
xxx
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male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (19 July 2007):
 You're 14. I advise following the advice of your mum. You're too young to have to worry about having Sex.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Hello. I don't think you should have sex at the age of 14. I had sex for the first time at the age of 16 and I am now 21. I regret it all the time. You want your first person to be the person you love. I thought I loved my boyfriend at the age of 16 but I realized later in life that I didn't love him. So my first time having sex ended up being with someone I didn't love. At that young of an age, you really dont know what love is, though it may seem very real to you. I think you should wait until you get much older. Now I realize that even 16 was too young, let alone 14. You will really regret it later in life. I know that most high school kids are having sex these days but people will only respect you more if you hold off until your more mature. The fact that your friends are telling you that you will be sorer the longer you wait is silly. There is no such thing. It is probably just something someone made up one day.. Good luck and I hope you make the right decision, not the wrong one like I did
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male
reader, rk06 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I had sex at a very young age. It was great at the time. Ever since then, I have felt horrible and dirty about it. Make sure its with someone you really care about. I'm not here to tell you yes or no, but just to let you know that there are consequences. I wish you the best, and listen to your heart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Don't do it. It is okay to wait until your older. If the boy cares about you at all he will understand. You don't have to give in the pressures of adulthood because you are not ready. I had sex early and I regret it, I really wish i would have waited. Save your purity honey, because once it's gone, it's gone for good.
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Don't take into much of what your friends say here, rather take the advice of your Mum.
Wait until you are totally ready to do it both mentally and physically. If you do it now if feel you may regret it in years to come and wish you haden't.
All the best x
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female
reader, bovvalicious +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Its great that you can talk to your mum about this stuff as she has experiancesWhat your friends say is rubbish. Dont listen to them and if you want to have sex just be sure its what you want not what your friends want.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): You won't be more sore if you wait!!! If anything, the younger and more nervous you are the sorer you will be. If you are scared and unsure then don't do it. Once you have lost your virginity you will never ever get it back so it's worth waiting until you are completely sure you want to do it. Your mum is just trying to help you, she has your best intentions at heart. Only do it if you are completely sure you want to and you are ready. It never hurts to wait. xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): For a start, what your friends said is complete rubbish -- it won't be any more painful the longer you wait. Sounds to me like your mum's got your best interests at heart and I agree with her -- it makes much more sense to wait and be with a guy that you really like and who respects you :)And more importantly, YOU said that you want to wait -- it's YOUR life, don't let your friends pressure you into doing something you're not ready for, you'll regret it!
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female
reader, flower girl +, writes (18 July 2007):
 What your friends have said is absolute rubbish, the best advice you have received yet is from your mum.
I was about your age when i lost my virginity and believe me it's one of my biggest regrets, i was drunk and i stupid.
Do not be pressured into anything by your friends you wait until you are totally ready for it, and you will be respected by men much more for it as well.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Your mums right in the fact that its better that you should wait another couple of years to have sex.At your age your body may not be ready yet and you may not be emotinally ready yet to have sex either.There are loads of consquences of sex like STDs and pregnacy that you could fall for. We cant stop you but seriously think about it and how you will look back on it during the future and you may regret it. Listen to your mum, even though you may not think it she does know best
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